Spectacular S

Dia de Reyes gift comes in handy.

2012-02-17T10:46:00.001-08:00

SS received an InnoTab for Dia de Reyes from Abuela and Abuelo. Here she is patiently waiting at Dr. S's office waiting for my dreaded yearly physical. Love her crossed legs.

An unexpected, belated, yet amazing Christmas gift.

2012-01-08T16:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we received a surprise in the mail. When P came inside he said "THIS gave me the chills." P is not a hippy, tree hugging kind of guy, so that statement made me very curious. He handed me an envelope addressed to SS, using her full name. As soon as I saw it I realized why P was intrigued.

We have not had any real communication with SS's SWI since she came home. About a year ago someone adopted a two year old girl from SS's SWI, and I was able to contact the mother before she traveled. It is one of the reasons why I still check almost daily on the adoption website that was our lifeline during our wait. There aren't many Yunnan Yummies or Kunming Kuties out there. Whenever referrals come out it's the usual Hunan and Jiangxi mix of babies. The mother sent a message that if any Yunnan parents wanted to send updates to the SWI she would be happy to deliver them. I found the message just before she was due to travel and FedExed a nice package of pictures covering SS's time with us. We were so happy when she contacted me to let me know she received the package and would deliver it on Family Day. We have always wondered how it was received. Did they remember our duckling now morphed into a beautiful swan? Heck, did they even care. Normal parent worries. We also wondered why now, SS has been home three and a half years, what could be inside? We made a point of carefully opening the envelope, because whatever it was it would be a treasure for our daughter. Let's see...

A Christmas card! This is the outside, and we immediately fell in love with the Chinese characters.

The inside of the card and the gift. Can you see it? We were elated that they chose that particular picture of the Stone Forest. Not only because we visited the place, but if you have been here from the beginning you will know that it was our blog header for quite a while. We both got emotional and SS was wondering what all the fuss was about. OK, back to the gift, do you see the last line? It's a yahoo email address! SS's SWI is finally online and reachable, and we intend to take advantage of this gift.

I have been worried about SS's complete lack of curiosity about her origins. P is just fine with it, but I know that at almost five her sisters and brothers have brought up their concerns for one or two years. Heck, JJ is my bio kid and he wondered why I had curly, black hair, and he had straight, sandy brown hair. He was curious as to why his bio father and I had very light brown eyes, and his eyes were such a dark brown. That is why at three he knew about recessive genes. But not SS, she knows she was born in China, she knows we traveled to China and brought her to her forever home, she knows she is adopted, she knows JJ came from my womb and she did not, but it does not bother her one bit. Now THAT worries me, because we are all curious as to where we originated. We hope to send updates to her SWI and maybe when SS has questions they will help us with some answers.

After our unexpected gift was thoroughly enjoyed we took SS to see Puss in Boots. Typical SS, she did not even notice the Kitty character (voice of Selma Hayek) but was totally into Puss in Boots (voice of Antonio Banderas). She already decided that she will be Puss in Boots for Halloween, and it makes sense because like her Mama, she has a boot fetish. At least we have a heck of a heads up. Except that she talked about showing off her awesome costume at preschool. P burst her bubble and informed her she would not be at preschool next Halloween and tears were shed. That is another post because P's past is heavily weighing on SS's educational future, and I might be forced to make a decision he will not like. It will get ugly, but if she is not ready I can't send her off into not only real school, but an academically demanding Mandarin immersion program. Stay tuned. :)

As you can see below, SS has a strange sense of style but it works for her. That is one her Baba's Angels hat she is wearing like a thug. Just wish she had not chosen the stained, well worn one.

Happy Puke Year

2012-01-01T17:16:00.001-08:00

SS woke up about five minutes before midnight. Our girl loves herself a good countdown so we gathered in front of the TV and watched the ball drop. Hugs and kisses were exchanged as well as wishes for a better year. P was holding SS, she turned to him and said "Baba, my tummy hurts." P told her we would go upstairs and cuddle together, SS placed her head on P's shoulder, P turns around (his back to me) and that is when the pukefest began. Poor SS vomited more than we have seen before, as in that one time she vomited. It went all over the back of P's shirt and on my boots, floor, you name it. Funny that I had not had a darn thing to drink and still ended up with puke on my boots.

SS has been sick all day, was not able to keep popsicles down. We are starting her on Gat0r@de now. We have a gallon of the stuff, it should do the job. I have been around many babies and am no stranger to puke messes, but the whole covering the back of a shirt thing SS pulled off was a first to me. Gotta hand it to her, the girl's got talent, not a marketable one, but it takes skillz to christen Baba's virgin body with such style. Again, no stranger to being puked on here, by my child and many others. But I was worried about P, who did not blink, just took care of his baby. Oh well, Happy Puke Year!

Thanksgiving

2011-12-26T12:40:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, we celebrated Thanksgiving and JJ made it home for a before the actual date celebration. Poor guy couldn't stay long, but we appreciate his willingness to be here with us.

On the last day of school before Thanksgiving SS arrived home really excited about the school celebration. I must admit that we were appalled that they still use the term Indians to refer to Native Americans.

In their defense, there are no curriculum vitae on file for the staff. Repeat after me, "it's preschool, it's play dough and crayons..." Oh shoot, it isn't.

Guess it is funny, or sad.

Girlie girl Christmas.

2011-12-25T23:24:00.000-08:00

We left Nana's and Grand Min's presents for Christmas morning, and we jokingly dubbed it girlie girl Xmas.

Gee, that dress again? There's a post coming about that dress.

SS has always smelled D-O-G for soothing, but lately she is smelling everything. It's a sensory thing.

A panda hat for our little panda.

Clothes, including the perfect pair of jeans. We have shared how difficult it is to find pants for SS. Blouses are a breeze, she usually gets into two sizes larger than her age just fine.But pants are a PITA. When I saw they were size 5 I thought too big, but with the skinny cut and adjustable waistband this is a winner. Now we have to look online for more.

Dora suede boots! SS's current ones are a size 8 and these ones are size 9. With SS's slow shoe size growth, she should be ready to wear them next winter. This is SS's first pair of character shoes, other than Snoopy flip flops that she won't fit into for years.

A pet pillow, and SS was happy.

We need to get out more because we had no knowledge of Wuggle Pets. It must be very easy to use, because I blinked and SS had two pets made.

The baby, we held our breath waiting for her reaction. So far so good, and is NOT mute.

Magnetic thank goodness sporty dressed up doll.

SS got a kick out of dressing this doll. The part she enjoyed the most was mismatching outfits.

Super Hero Christmas Videos

2011-12-24T23:30:00.000-08:00

Super hero Christmas.

2011-12-24T23:04:00.000-08:00

We had our now traditional early Christmas. JJ made it home for a mere 25.5 hour stay, and we are incredibly grateful. He arrived Friday at around 2 p.m. and had to leave Saturday at 3:30 due to work. Maybe that is why we cherish these moments so much. When JJ came in I was glad he did not wrap SS's gifts. The part that peeked out of his gift bag made me realize that P was about to make a late night run to buy the gift JJ had for SS.

We told SS that Santa arrived early because JJ was home. That was good enough for her. We have not really drilled the Santa myth on SS, we do not put out cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. She is aware of the fact that her relatives give her gifts, but accepts our lame explanation that Santa left those gifts at their homes. It has worked so far. Abuela's and Abuelo's gift(s) will be reserved for Dia de Reyes. It is our way of reinforcing SS's connection to what is now a part of her diverse cultural heritage.

Of course JJ's eye catching (show off) gift bag had to be first. Love the fact that SS's Metropolis table can be turned into a flat surface for other things.

C@rs 2 Tokyo Spinout race track, the same item P was about to get when JJ arrived.

SS had been ~~asking~~ demanding, whining, blackmailing for a Francesco. We decided that it was time for SS to learn that she can't walk into a store and always come home with what she wants. When JJ was here for Thanksgiving, SS gave him an earful about how she felt about our stinginess (and many others per JJ). P bought her one, so did I, and so did JJ. Yep, now she has 3 Francescos, but we only gave her JJ's. The others are backups,

No way, another C@rs race track!

Grandpa's gift, the coveted Bat Cave.

SS has been testing our patience with her new reluctance to brush her teeth, It is the most dreaded part of our morning routine. So much that P and I have to take turns because neither one of us can stand the crying, drama, and plain pain in the neck that is those two short minutes. That says a lot from a couple who endured such a long, gut wrenching wait. Her tooth brushing drama makes us want to gouge our eyes out. SS claims that the toothpaste is sour, her strawberry flavor bubble gum toothpaste. UGH. We are hoping a L*ghti*ng McQu**n electronic toothbrush will restore some morning peace.

JJ's turn, he and P have a thing about zombies.

Big surprise, another C@rs 2 race track. She has three of four individual tracks that connect for a C@rs 2, your parents are so called college educated suckers extravaganza.

We even things out,why there was not much action regarding JJ.

JJ has our old TV, and it is in the living room of the apartment he shares with two roommates. We wanted him to have a nice TV in his room. We think he liked it.

SS is really into puzzles, she is good for her age.

Prior to the Santa pic, we took SS to the Mall just to have her talk to the fake dude and hear what she specifically wanted. Much to our surprise the women there remember SS from her first pic three years ago (creepy). SS, with her nice shiner sat on Santa's lap and did not hesitate when asked what she wanted. She said " a rocketship." The so called nice ladies laughed in a good luck with that way. I wanted Santa to ask, to probe, to freaking ask. Turns out they are hired based on their jolly old man looks, not their forensic interviewing training. P and I had no idea what that meant and SS was not helping.

Then while looking for another toy, something caught my eye at T@arget, had not seen it before, and there was only one left.

Mother of pearl, a TS3 space(rocket)ship. I sent P a picture and was texting price, etc. P could not care less, his text was simple: GET IT.

Poor Baby, disappointed?

NAH

As usual, SS ~~bullied~~ sweetly talked her big brother into prying her toys out of those annoying security traps, and assembling them.

Santa Pic 2011

2011-12-23T18:59:00.000-08:00

We ~~waited~~ procrastinated until today to get the yearly Santa picture and paid the price, an uncharacteristically antsy and uncooperative SS. In our lame defense, SS managed to trip and hit a door, and the result was a nice shiner in the middle of her forehead. I think it is the first time I wished she had bangs. Nah, those things never work. SS's behavior was due to the long wait. It was not too bad, about 30 minutes, but it is the longest SS has had to wait. Then we could not find the tights that actually fit, and she ended up wearing a much larger pair that bunched up something ugly. I pulled them up just before I sat her on Santa's lap. Note to self, get it done early next year. There is something off with Santa, not sure what, just off. Almost forgot, SS was mad at us because she wanted to wear her fedora. Hell to the no, even I have some standards. She then wanted to wear it on the way to the mall. Nope, we wanted the pony tails to be neatly in place. But boy, did she make us pay.

2011

2010
Although it was early December, SS was still beautifully tanned, thanks to our water activities and the trip to Maui. Love the dress and the demure pose with neatly placed hands.

2009

2008

We have always commented that SS cannot take a bad picture. Well, hell froze over and it was not pretty. Since the line was so slow we decided to amuse ourselves by snapping some pictures. SS was not about to let us off the hook, and here are the results.

She looks like she is about to be placed on a 5150 hold and enjoying her last moments of freedom as a demented person, before the straight jacket is on.

Not any better, and what is with grabbing the rail?

Not there yet.

Forget about it.

But wait, there's another reindeer and we are darn close to Santa, so maybe she will smile this time. Suckers! And we know this kid is amazing at spotting a camera and looking/smiling its way.

Freaking finally! The moral of the story is DO NOT tee off SS before a photo session.

This is one articulate young lady that reminds us of someone. P said that she would make a wonderful playmate for SS. You go Riley!

Happy Hour Santa

2011-12-16T19:09:00.001-08:00

Baba's office Christmas dinner.

SS canta.

2011-12-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

Lisp and everything still cutest thing ever.

9:54 p.m.
Oh dear, SS just said "Mama I want to play football when I grow up." We do not watch football here, only the Super Bowl. As open minded as we are, the thought of SS being body ~~checked~~ slammed scares the heck out of us.

Good night sweet princess.

2011-12-02T09:25:00.001-08:00

SS has been blessed by having two kick ass Great-grandmothers,even though she only met one of them. SS, emulate them and you will just be fine.

Cowboy's birthday.

2011-11-23T16:17:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try to catch up with some events I really want to document for SS. In late August SS attended L's (Cowboy) birthday party. When we saw the invitation we realized that SS is older. Way to go our little cougar! We later learned that his birthday is in September and there was a reason why they celebrated early. Once we found out the reason, we felt pretty awful, because once again, our snark bit us in the rear end.

As we were driving to Chuck E Velveeta, I noted that I had never met L, my daughter's first boyfriend. P told me that he would be easy to recognize as he had the biggest head of any child he had ever come across. That is exactly how I was able to pick him from the crowd, except I picked up on something my snarky husband missed, the shape of his head. L's parents and grandmother were all over SS, they are very nice people. They were aware of the fact that SS renamed him Cowboy, well, more like brow beat him into submission, and they were OK with it. L's mother stated that she was glad that SS was so strong minded. Bet she wouldn't say the same if they were teens and dating. She mentioned that L missed SS now that she is a senior. I did not know they were not together. L's mother (oops, can't remember her name) explained that they chose to postpone the transition to the senior class until after the surgery. That comment made us feel pretty bad and also confirmed my suspicions. One of the teachers later confirmed that L underwent cranial surgery. He has been out since September and SS misses him terribly. We are waiting until he is strong enough for a play date.

We have thought about L a lot since that day and hope he recovers soon. One more time when we reflect on how incredibly fortunate we are that SS has not had any major medical problems. Sure, she gets the sniffles more than most, and it may actually be allergies. At times we worry about her weight, or how she will always be shorter than same age peers. But we are lucky that the only time she has spent in a hospital was keeping her Mama company. We'll like to keep it that way.

An unusual right hand throw.

L made sure that SS sat on his left side.

Very happy with her pirate loot.

Opening SS's gift.

That's all folks!

Where's Baba?

2011-11-18T14:32:00.001-08:00

That is the first thing SS asks when she wakes up if her Baba is not here. She always gets the same answer, I don't bother reminding her that she knows. For some reason she needs to hear that he is at work and will return home for lunch, like he has done for the past three years. But our hyper sensitive SS has abandonment issues, so we indulge her. This morning was the same, but SS had an extra question, "where's Baba's phone?" Told you she's entitled. :) Then again, crime fighting and being a super hero is exhausting, as you can see above. Poor thing barely got her mask off before dozing off. Can't blame the girl for wanting to relax by playing angry birds and watching movies.

iPh0ne Savant

2011-11-17T19:11:00.001-08:00

P and I were trying to have a conversation after dinner, but were continuously and rudely interrupted by a tiny, and extremely effective saboteur. In order not to lose his cool, P opted to offer his phone to SS, so she could play Angry Birds. But after a few minutes of frustrating grunting, I looked over to find a smiling SS playing a game involving balloons (to K@tie Perr*'s music). P was wondering how she learned to get into the game. Beats me, I never share my expensive phone with spoiled, entitled four year old girls. Then about five minutes later SS said several times "I love Thomas (the overrated engine)." I thought P had downloaded a Thomas game for her. It turns out that SS got into the Netfl*x application and somehow managed to get herself a Thomas movie. What. The. Heck. This is the same child who asks us to feed, clothe and bathe her. Someone has been taking us for a huge ride. SS, sorry, but no iP@d for you under the tree.We are afraid of what you'll do with Internet access.

Two hours later...
Reason #99 why it is not wise to share a phone with a 4 year old. Heh, P lost his phone to his tiny dictator. And yes, she wants an iP@d.

SS gave us a really good scare.

2011-11-10T17:34:00.001-08:00

Last night P asked SS what she wanted for Christmas. I was ready to listen to a long list of Light*ng McQue*n, Buzz, Batman, Pirate, Green Lantern and every other dark super hero paraphernalia. But SS was unusually quiet, then turns around to face me and says "I want a baby." P and I went quiet and had that deer caught between headlights look. As I have mentioned many times, JJ was Sula's age when he asked for a sister for Christmas. And let's face it, I suck at the whole delivering a sibling things because it took me 21 years to bring a sister home. Then of course there is the fact that our plans for #3 have changed, #2 (SS) will be our last child. So a lot of sadness while thinking about what to say. I held SS and asked if she was sure that she wanted a baby for Christmas, and she nodded, very sure of herself. Crud, not the talk we wanted to have about dashing her hopes for a sibling forever. Then SS looks at me and says "A baby that doesn't talk." HUH? Technically babies do not talk, but eventually the babble incessantly and then talk up a storm. Was SS placing an order for a mute sibling? Because even to us lax freaks, that is kind of sick. Thankfully for us mentally challenged, apparently inbred duo, SS clarified her request. I asked "why a baby that doesn't talk?" SS responded, "because it's not a real one, it's a doll." P and I sighed with relief like a teenage girl looking at a negative pregnancy test. All she wants is a freaking doll! A doll, really SS? You are so much better than that. Kind of wishing she really wanted a mute sibling.

Recently we took SS to lunch an an Indian restaurant we had not visited in a while. Even though she is so small we are trying to stop using high chairs, toddler sized cutlery and sippy cups. She is almost five, and they do not provide those things at preschool and she does just fine. Need to help her spread her independent wings.

SS stuffed her little face with pakora. After trying the first three she polished a dish full of them.

Can't go wrong with rice and in this case garbanzos.

SS has yet to come across a form of bread she has not liked. The naan did not disappoint her.

SS had two bowls of this fruit custard, it's yummy, but super sweet.

A treat from Aunt Michelle.

2011-11-08T18:03:00.001-08:00

SS received a treat in the mail from her Aunt Michelle (seriously, it was addressed that way). SS now has two window clings, "pumpkin seeds" (great use of orange tic tacs, a card with the cutest cats and dogs stickers dressed in costumes, and a do it yourself necklace kit that almost had SS pass out from anticipation. Thank you Michelle for making our girl's day.

SS is absolutely giddy with delight about her new necklace, because anything skull and bones makes her squeal like a banshee.

Having a pet pays off, SS quickly found a way to get rid of her excess candy.

Buzz Bat Firefighter.

2011-11-02T17:23:00.000-07:00

SS is back on her firefighter kick, just as she was at this time last year.

And the Oscar for most milking mileage from a boo boo goes to... SS!! That's a shocker. Our little bat fell at school yesterday and came home with a limp, fake tears, and a bandage. SS collapsed in my arms as though she had crawled through a battlefield with a mortal wound. Milked it until bedtime. Then our unlucky girl (takes after her Mama) fell again today, same knee and the scab came off. Oh the drama. Look at that face, doesn't that just pull at your heartstrings?

But like any academy award winning actress, SS can turn it on and off in seconds.

SS, never lose that sense of wonder, that imagination that does not recognize gender barriers, that stubborn streak, and the strength of your convictions. And God help us for encouraging you. :)

TadadadadadadDAH....

2011-11-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

BUZZ BAT!!!!!!!!

Initially SS requested to be Iron Man, but P and I immediately nixed the idea. First, she has not even seen the darn movie, and second, too violent a character for our taste. Besides, that was two months before Halloween, and there is no way a four year old would stick to her guns that long. Well, sorta, after stomping her feet and trying emotional blackmail on the weakest parent (P), SS realized we were not budging. OK, no iron Man, then she toyed with the idea of being a fireman. She was emphatic though, fireMAN, not fireWOMAN. She would not even accept the neutral firefighter. We both could live with that as they wear the same uniform regardless of gender. But that choice lasted all of an hour, I guess SS was not feeling it. Quickly after she settled on Batman, although we suspect it was between that and Green Lantern.

Here is where it gets interesting. When I started looking for costumes I was think Ad@m West Batman, because I was born in the age of the dinosaurs. It wasn't until the third store that the classic Batman vs. New Batman issue came up. I preferred the less menacing original version, but I was not the one wearing the costume. When I asked SS she was very sure "Mama, I want to be Batman the Dark Prince or the Dark Night." except that I could not find a dark prince costume in SS's size, the original version was in toddler size, the black version medium (8-10). UGH! And SS would not accept any other options.

I came home frustrated and empty handed. Then after a full day of work, P came to the rescue and retraced my steps hoping to find the one Dark Prince costume that would fit his petite bat without success. P e-mailed me a picture of the Batgirl outfit that I had already tried to sell to SS without success. True to form, our Baba's girl liked the idea when it was Baba's suggestion. Huh? WTF? Well beggars can't be choosers, so I ran with the idea, even though it stung. Yeah, I'm petty that way. But SS still had the last word. So what is the key to get your Batman hell bent four year old daughter sold on a less desirable Batgirl costume? You still call it a Batman costume, and she would not accept otherwise. She does make a freakishly cute bat, no matter the gender. And I talked her out of the Buzz Bat she was sporting in the above picture. She was serious about it.

The Bat has arrived.

Love her "super hero" hands on waist pose.

We took turns making sure her "boots" remained up.

SS loves being line leader (and lunch helper).

Senior class picture. SS's tenure in the Junior room was so short that she never had a chance to be part of a group picture.

With Ms. T, SS's greatest fan at school. She drops whatever she is doing as soon as SS walks in, and they spend free time drawing and doing crafts. Ms. T had been trying to convince SS to choose "something girly" for Halloween. She was very pleased when she saw SS. Why do we place so much importance on gender roles?

We took our bat out for Japanese for lunch. SS, as usual, is mastering a skill in her own way. Her chopstick technique is different, but gets the job done.

P planned the dreaded Mall trip to perfection. We had planned to return to Chico, but even though P took the day off (it is the most important day of the year) he did not feel like driving two hours. Our last experience at the Mall was terrible, a mass of people pressed way too close together. We arrived early and left just when it started to get too crowded for our taste. SS was getting candy by the handful, very rarely was she given just one piece of candy. She also received a lot of compliments on her costume, much to her delight. We were chuckling at the squeals from adults, because really, it's just a little girl in a store bought costume. I told P we should skip the costume next year and put a paper bag over her. Then we'll be hearing how she is the cutest paper bag evah.

SS's pumpkin was heavy, but greed is a powerful motivator and she would not allow us to help. When I finally held it while P buckled SS up I was surprised that she was able to carry the darn thing for so long. Stubborn little bat.

I was behind the door making sure each child "fished" one piece of candy. That is the baby room, where they had 5 kids under 2 years old, and it was quite a task to keep them off my lap and out of the candy bowl.

Happy Birthday P!

2011-10-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

Thirty-six years ago the world became a better place, when P entered this world at French Hospital in San Francisco. What a time to be born, the mid 70's. He had pretty happening parents who met at the Playboy Club. Thankfully for Grandpa, those were the days when the fathers were relegated to pacing the floor outside the delivery room. This worked greatly on Grandpa's favor because he was able to watch the World Series deciding game between the Boston Red Sox and the Cincinnati Reds. It was ranked by ESPN as the second greatest world series ever played.

When Grandpa moved to Maui many moons ago, he gave P a lot of pictures from his childhood. P left them in Southern California and never retrieved them. So I was very happy when he returned from his visit to Grandma in 2006 with about two dozen pictures from his early childhood. This is a good opportunity to share with SS those first few years of her Baba's life.

Happy Birthday P! Don't fret, you are actually getting hotter every year. :)

PS. We just realized that today is also SS's Feast Day (Catholic church thing, and no we did not know until today). What are the odds?

Practicing his tea manners by holding out his pinky at eight days old.

With Grandma M at barely 19 days old.

Proud dad holding his one month old first born. Is P smiling?

Christmas card debut at two months old.

Not sure the exact age, but obviously still an infant and doing his power to the people salute.

Check out those wheels (5 months).

P really dislikes this picture (1 year old), because he says it makes him look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. I think he looks freaking adorable, and I do have a thing for Irish sweaters, even though I have never owned one. I intended to get one for SS, but they are not very practical in our neck of the woods.

One year old with Grandma M, Grandpa C and cousin K.

El Mamo at 15 months.

Halloween 1978 (3 years old) with Cousin K.

The date on the back of this picture (by the developer not Grandma) is August 1979, but no idea when it was taken. I did not know P had a thing for playing cowboy. Too bad he was too young to join the Village People.

Age four on his dad's boat.

In his parents' hot tub practicing his seductive skills. Who knew I would end up marrying this doughy piece of heaven.

Four years old and enjoying the birthday present from the grandparents.

I chose this one not only because of the vest, but also because he is doing SS's favorite thing, pointing when a camera is aimed at her.

P caught the eye of a food critic at three years of age due to his sophisticated palate. This article is why I broke my golden rule about not parading my kids' pictures/names on newspapers.

From the past.

2011-10-18T13:51:00.000-07:00

My bio mother e-mailed me this picture a few hours ago. She wrote that it might be a good idea to have it in case SS has questions about her family in the future. Here is the interesting thing, yes that is me ugly as always between my bio brothers. My bio mother is on the right. The rest are paternal relatives, the B's, people with whom I had no relationship whatsoever. As I have mentioned before, I do not have childhood pictures because my bio mother decided that once she passes on, we then can take possession of our past. Cool. What blows my mind is that if she wanted to send me on a trip down memory lane, why not send a picture of Mami and Papi? You know, that couple who raised me, loved me unconditionally and are responsible for whatever good is in me. As in the great-grandmother SS was named after. I know, crazy talk.

So let's meet the Bs. I have no idea how old I was on that picture, probably around one. On the right is my bio brother K, jail bird,physically abusive spouse, and law enforcement eluder extraordinaire. On the left is my bio brother J, the ultimate racist, who demands that his children only date African Americans, and renounces anything white.

Behind us is Mami L, the white grandmother J seems to forget is as part f his DNA as our black grandfather. You can't tell in the picture, but she was blond with blue eyes. There is a poem we studied in elementary school titled Y Tu Abuela Donde Esta? (And Where is Your Grandma?). I think about that poem whenever J goes on his racist rampages. The poem is about a little boy who is blond and has blue eyes and does not care for dark skinned people. Another child keeps reminding him about his grandmother who is not white. This is the case for us Puerto Ricans, we are not homogeneous by any means, and to claim one race based on phenotype is absolutely ignorant.

On the right side is my bio mother rocking the late 60s look. On the left side is Titi L, and behind her husband Tio P. Behind my mother is Papi A, the African dude, the one J recognizes as provider of his entire gene pool. The woman with the glasses is Mami J, Mami L's sister. I hope people are getting an understanding why I hated the way the title Mami was used as though it did not have any special meaning. Behind Mami J is Tio D, and he is the opera singer who has been living in Germany for over 30 years. I have no idea who is the man to the left of Tio D. My guess is that is probably Tio J, but that is just a wild guess. The older gentleman with glasses is Papi P, Mami J's husband. How is that for confusing.

Come to think of it, I should not be surprised by my secondary infertility. Both Mami J and Titi L were unable to have children. Mami J and Papi P pulled off the ultimate stunt in obtaining a child. Forget adopting a child, there were plenty of those. No, they volunteered to take care of brother K while my mother finished her nursing degree, you know to "help." Then once my mother graduated they refused to return him. Easy, breezy, peachy way to kidnap a child. Go B's! Mami L and Papi A raised brother J, and once again those parenting skills really made a life long impact.

The B's never cared for me and Mami L was jealous about my relationship with Mami and Papi. They were vile about my amazing parents, calling them animals and some other things I cannot repeat. On the occasions I was forced to be with the B family, I took a lot of spankings and smacks to the head. Also, Papi A's belt made quite an impression on my flesh. K & J were always begging me to be quiet, to let the insults go unchallenged, and I never listened. It is a horrible thing as a child to hear your parents criticized and brutalized in such a manner by a so called Christian couple. I always stood up for them and ironically, also for my bio mother. Even though she never returned the favor it did not matter. As a result, I shed more tears in that house than throughout my entire childhood. I am proud to this day that I stood up for Mami and Papi, they were poor, while the B's were upper middle class. The B's seemed to have it all, except love and warmth, those are two things I never found in their presence.

One time after a nasty spanking Mami J snuck into the room to try to console me. She pleaded with me to let the insults roll off my back, but at 5 I just did not have that control. OK, it did not change as I aged so I can't blame it on age. Mami J then sighed and stated that it was my bio mother's fault that they treated me so poorly. While I was by then well aware that I was not my mother's priority, I did not make the connection as to how she was to blame. Mami J told me that when I was born she counseled my bio mother to take me to my paternal grandfather, hand me over and say "Here A, here's the daughter you never had." My bio mother refused (best decision she ever made) and that is where their undisguised disgust of me began. Whatever...

When my bio parents divorced my bio father was court ordered to pay a paltry amount on child support. He never paid a cent, but Mami L and Mami J decided to clean up his mess. They each opened a savings account for the child they were raising and deposited the child support money that was never sent there. It was supposed to be for their future use and I have no idea (nor care) if they ever received the money. They conveniently forgot about me. One time I heard them discuss the omission and the reasoning was since Mami and Papi "got the girl, let them come up with the money." True, Mami and Papi could not fund a savings account for me, but they gave me so much more. They instilled in me a love of learning, reminding me that if I let a day pass without learning something new, it was a wasted day. They insisted on a bilingual education even when I wondered if my brothers and cousins were not bilingual (at the time), why should I be. Even more important, they taught me to love without regard to age, ethnicity, religion or other minutia that is a deal breaker to others. Without Mami and Papi I would not have the family I love and cherish today. My Caucasian (Catholic, younger) husband, my Chinese daughter, and my Puerto Rican son who is twelve years older than my daughter. I did not have a garage full of toys, nor did I engage in fun, expensive trips. What I did have was two wonderful role models who loved me and in turn, taught me to love. Plus I have never been in arrested (hard as I have tried), or in jail/prison.

SS, your Abuela wanted you to know about a side of me I have never discussed with you. So here it is, a quick rundown on why you have never heard about the B's. If there's something I learned from them is that it is unconscionable to use children as weapons or targets. Hope you are never disliked based on your parents' decisions.

On a lighter note, SS was practicing her sidewalk chalk writing skills Sunday. Don't know what made her write the L that way; still, made me smile.

Buzzing around.

2011-10-16T13:14:00.000-07:00

I caught a fish THIS big!

2011-10-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

And that's how you eat a burrito.

2011-09-25T09:09:00.001-07:00

Nuestra bandita.

2011-09-24T12:17:00.000-07:00

We are still alive, just too lazy to post.

Back to school.

2011-09-13T07:51:00.001-07:00

Fever free and sporting her first Halloween top of the season. SS was sneezing this morning, crossing our fingers. Last night we had a thunderstorm and P spent over an hour outside watching the lighting. SS joined him for a while. Good thing I'm used to a husband who bonds with his kids over death and destruction.

She is still camping.

2011-09-10T17:15:00.001-07:00

Looks like SS really enjoyed her first camping trip, despite the lousy weather, fever and not spending enough time with JJ. This is the one thing where SS & JJ are polar opposites. Our son loathes camping.

Feeling better.

2011-09-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

SS was asleep by 5:30 p.m and woke up around 6:00 a.m. She is feeling better, building camps, playing super hero, and has had two servings each of milk and juice. Guava juice is her favorite now. We are hoping there are no more fevers.

Sick again.

2011-09-08T07:06:00.001-07:00

The school director called around 1:00 pm yesterday because SS was running a fever. Once again I'm grateful P is barely two minutes away and his work is flexible. P stayed with SS until I arrived home, then returned to work at 5:30 pm. He came home for about an hour, then returned to work at 11:30 pm, and should be home soon. SS must be fever free for 24 hours before returning to school. She is having a Baba and SS day and returns next Tuesday. Hopefully she'll be OK by then.

Goodbyes are sad.

2011-09-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

We had breakfast with JJ and are on our way home. SS's nap was actually her shutting down on us. As excited as she was about camping and spending time with JJ, something about this place messed with her mind. We are not the Jolie-Pitts, but we have traveled with SS and know her behavior was not the away from home norm. She slept from yesterday at 4:00 p.m. until 7:00 this morning. We seriously worried when JJ's presence at breakfast did not brighten her mood. She asked me to hold her, and when we suggested she get a last snuggle with JJ she said no. We talked her into hugging the love of her life goodbye. She is now medicated and hopefully better by the time we arrive home.

Remembering Grandpa.

2011-09-04T17:21:00.001-07:00

Sorry about the pictures without blogging. Life has a way of getting in the way of posting. We planned on taking SS on her first camping adventure last year, but between Chicago and Maui we lost steam. SS's separations from JJ are becoming increasingly difficult. We prepare her the best we can. We count how many sleeps before JJ comes home AND how many sleeps JJ will spend home. No matter how much time we spend preparing SS, she falls apart when JJ leaves.

One thing we did not post about is that during JJ's last visit SS began to refer to him as "my brother" or "my big brother." That is not a new concept for SS since we introduced JJ and brother to her when we met, and have reinforced the sibling relationship since. But this was the first time that SS articulated her understanding. It was funny to hear "where did my big brother go Mama?" or "I love my big brother."

Knowing that summer is almost over, we knew we wanted SS to have that first camping experience. What better way to blend SS's need to see JJ and her first camping experience. We left yesterday evening for a quick visit. We arrived at around 9:20, and JJ came to help us set up. On weekends he goes to work at 5:00 a.m., so he could not stay long. Thankfully SS was so excited about camping that she let go of JJ without the drama we feared.

Sadly for SS she went from 100 degrees to 48, not exactly summer weather. It quickly reminded us why we were so eager to leave this hell hole. While SS had her Buzz heavy fleece blanket, P and I had our summer sleeping bag. I was shivering all night, while P did what he could to keep me warm to no avail. We have camped at this temperatures before without incident, but it seems that four years at 100+ degree weather turned me into a wimp.

JJ came by after work and we had lunch at a Hawaiian joint. Funny how this economically depressed, lily white place we desperately fled now has a Hawaiian restaurant. We had an amazing time reminiscing about Maui. At this time last year we were returning home from our amazing trip to Maui. Grandpa spoiled us with free lodging, free car service, and an awful lot of Hawaiian and seafood. It is the best time we have had as a family. So much that although we have a strict rule that Holidays are spent home, P really would like to spend a Christmas in Maui. Of all holidays, Christmas is the one I thought I'd never waver on, no matter the reason. But as we had lunch I had a change of heart. Listening to how easily all four of us talked about Maui I realized that as long as the four of us are in agreement and present, it would be a great experience. Now the witch is coordinating our schedules.

P had fish tacos, and SS, JJ and I had chicken katsu for the first time since Maui. It was yummy and a good time was had by all. We picked up a big fleece blanket since in this town without milk heaters are "seasonal items and won't be available for a while." Really? 46 freaking degrees is balmy weather to you freaks? No wonder we left...

This post is via iPhone since we are too far away from the office to get a signal. I apologize for any spelling errors and run on sentences. Pictures when we get home. SS is napping, a big no no at 5:00 p.m., we sent JJ home to get some rest. We are having dinner here and we say goodbye tomorrow before JJ goes to work at noon.

JJ!

2011-09-04T14:16:00.000-07:00

What's Baba doing?

2011-09-04T13:56:00.000-07:00

Retrieving the filter of the percolator he accidentally threw over the fence.

She slept well.

2011-09-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

Snug as a bug in a Buzz rug.

2011-09-03T22:32:00.000-07:00

Always prepared.

2011-09-03T21:29:00.001-07:00

Who knew Baba would find an SS sized Buzz flashlight.

Another first.

2011-09-03T18:26:00.000-07:00

Raging River

2011-08-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

Last Monday we returned to the water park for some more fun. JJ's favorite ride is the Raging River and it was not working the day before. Much to our delight it was up and raging and we got to go quite a few times, further annoying our daughter. I have seen many kids SS's size on that ride, and we had a three seater inner tube. Not my wisest move but I asked P is we could try it, since SS really wants to join in the big ride fun. P immediately nixed the idea, his main concern was not drowning, it would be a wipe out and the damage it could cause if one or both of us rolled over SS. Sorry my 30-pounder, Maybe next year. We did ~~bribe~~ reward SS with a cherry Icee. I think we are temporarily forgiven. Michelle, good job noticing SS's teed off mug, our girl needs to come out of her shell and tell us how she really feels.

We really thought we were going to take that poor kid out.

SS is the ultimate drama queen, she has the gall to complain about water in her eyes, while wearing well fitted goggles. Her teenage years are going to be a painful time for us.

JJ taught SS how to push off the wall, and SS spent the next 10 minutes "practicing," while JJ and Baba were at the RR.

We enjoyed being in the toilet bowl, then decided to ride an avalanche.

2011-08-14T20:34:00.001-07:00

We had a very low start this morning, as you can see below. It is the only picture you are going to get because SS is the only one who looks stunning even when disheveled. We need for Grandpa to send SS another T-shirt in her current size, because she is big trouble and the world deserves a warning.

Yes, SS is wearing C@rs pull ups and yes, they are for boys. Thankfully for her, we do not care where the extra padding is located. SS usually wakes up dry.

We finally made it out by 1:00 p.m., quite an accomplishment since I did not go to sleep until 8:00 a.m. Poor SS was fixated on tonight's dessert and we had to get her out of here before she had a major meltdown.

We can't get SS to do this, it is too uncomfortable for her and she becomes a whining mess. Not only did she spend a reasonable amount of time on the tube, but she wanted nothing to do with us. Whenever we tried to hold her hand she would whine that she only wanted to be with JJ.

Happy to be leading her brother by the finger all day long. Since SS had no use for us, we decided to amuse ourselves by trying some of the rides.

We started with the toilet bowl, and had the brilliant idea to record our descent into the giant tidy bowl. Since it gets pretty hectic I held the camera secure by using my watch strap. And the camera is allegedly shock proof (SS proof to us), so it should have been able to take the beating.

SS's least favorite part of the day was watching us do things where she could not participate. That is when her over the top drama queen behavior reared its ugly head.

P and I were first and it went rather well taking in consideration that I am a certified coward. My big mistake was hopping off the double tube, because the riptide in the pool is unbelievably strong. The lifeguard had to use the rescue pad to drag me out. Classy.

P and JJ had the coolest wipeout and you can tell by the number of revolutions the camera did. It was cooler from my point of view. I saw a body rapidly expelled from the exit sans tube. I recalled thinking "crazy dude without an inner tube." Upon closer examination the crazy dude was my son. Wait, he was in a double with P, where's the tube? Where the heck is P? I did not see P come out, I only saw him surface from the water. It was fun.

Then it was time to ride Avalanche. This time we did the bird's view with P and I, and I filmed P and JJ's descent.

All that fun required a re-hydration break with water, juice, sodas and chilled watermelon.

P bought this bathing suit for Sula in Maui last year. The top and rash guard fit perfectly (SS refused to wear the rash guard), but I had to really take the bottoms in to make it work.

Our Maui trip came up a lot throughout the day. We had an amazing time and look forward to a return trip in the future. We all agree that snorkeling at Chicken Beach is at the top of our to do lists. All that reminiscing led to a lot of talking about the amount of sea food we scarfed down while there. JJ treated us to dinner and we settled on a fish and chips restaurant.

The restaurant has several neat murals and a nautical theme.

SS's first hush puppy and she was instantly hooked. She managed to polish half the order. I am looking for a good hush puppies recipe.

SS almost finished all her fish as well.

We finally were able to reward SS's patience with two slices of ice cream cake. We had a blast and are watching Bre@king B@d, and drinking Blue Hawaiis. Good times.

Best birthday gift ever,

2011-08-13T17:58:00.000-07:00

A girl and her Cars.

2011-08-12T09:22:00.000-07:00

Three weeks ago we took SS to see C@rs 2. The D*sney Channel had been playing the original movie in an annoying consecutive loop prior to the release of the sequel, so SS was well versed in the magic of Lighting McQueen. On her second viewing SS declared her love for LM, as I silently watched even more of our money make its way into D*sney coffers. Big Icee and popcorn in hand, our tiny cinematic enthusiast settled to enjoy the movie. I was a bit disappointed with the level of violence in the G rated movie, and worried that SS would be afraid leading to a quick exit. We were well aware of the plot and did not have an issue with it, however, the whole thing about shoot outs, kill him, and cars dying deserved a PG rating (IMHO).

But as she is known to do, SS blew us away with her attention span, and not a single tear was shed. This is the same child who last year wept when her beloved Buzz was in trouble, much to the amusement of the adults around us. SS never took her eyes of the screen and during the final minutes she stood up and cheered her tiny hiney off urging M@ter and LM to win the good fight. Guess who are SS's new BFFs.

SS is holding a H@ppy Meal toy, the poor young lady behind the counter almost lost her head when she gave SS a "girl" toy. Our self assured girl demanded a light saber. Why is that considered a boy toy eludes me. And what is it with the gender categorization of toys? What bothers me is that SS has picked up of this and to cut to the chase simply asks for a boy toy or sticker. Ugh.

A very long, well deserved and very needed break.

2011-07-28T21:07:00.000-07:00

We have not posted in a while, life has been beyond crazy and we are not only juggling but adapting. P mentioned that it's telling that our last post was on July 4th, such a milestone to be succeeded by seventeen days of milestones. while we did not post during those significant days, it was not because we are "over it." Our lives have changed, P and I are home together only one day per week, and we opted to celebrate those milestones and defer posting for a later time.

SS is keeping us busy cranking up her stubborn level, something we thought was an impossibility. Not a day goes by when she does not manage to keep us in awe, shock, falling deeper in love with her, marveling at how something so small can be so bossy, and even plain scared. Second best roller coaster ride we have been on, and we love roller coasters. As usual, SS has her daily moments...

About a week ago, P properly reacted to the silence around him by asking SS what she was doing. SS calmly and firmly answered.... "I'm breaking bad.!" UGH. P is hooked on that show, and the last thing we need is our daughter saying that at preschool. Is it naive to think no one at school knows what it means?

Yesterday we took SS swimming and on the drive home a song I like played on the radio. Much to our surprise SS belted the song in the backseat. Nothing funnier than 30 pounds of solid love singing “I‘m falling to PIECES!!!.”

This afternoon our area reached 106 degrees. I came home with my Halloween Haunt super mug containing ice cold water. As P and I were catching up on our day SS reached for my mug and greedily sucked on the very cold water. I jokingly said to P "good thing I do not have vodka in that thing." P replied "she would love that," SS happily piped up " I LOVE vodka." We can't wait for her to share that gem at preschool.

This afternoon I was informed that SS is being transitioned to the senior room. The same child who began her preschool days with a much younger group because we chose to focus on attachment rather than forcing potty training. I was torn when P shared that information. Just recently the school's director stated that there was no way SS could enter kindergarten with her chronological age peers. The senior class is graduating in September and the juniors will take their place. I immediately thought that it was a pity promotion, but P informed me that not all juniors are moving on, only those who can handle it academically and emotionally. Some of SS's peers, born and raised in this country will remain as juniors. I am still a bit skeptical because I believe in slow and methodical, rather than follow the crowd when it comes to post institutionalized children. But apparently SS and her peers who are moving on have spent a few days in the senior class and she is doing very well. Our baby is growing and I am not sure we can handle it.

SS began her preschool career in the sophomore room not only due to our refusal to force potty training, but because we felt that even if she was, her size, development and history warranted that restraint. They fought us something fierce when we made the decision that she was ready for the junior class. We are incredibly flabbergasted that SS, in nine months has come such a long way. We are proud and undeservedly blessed.

Rocky gave the experience two thumbs up.

Time does fly once you receive a referral.

2011-07-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

Last night I was at the adoption website I became addicted to during our long wait, and was greeted with a Babies! post. When referrals are announced, the website's creator (who goes my a moniker and has somehow managed to remain anonymous after two China adoptions) gives the proud new parents the opportunity to list a link to their blogs. P would occasionally visit the website, but for me it was a daily habit. It is an amazing place where we all are in the same slow boat, and even though I never posted until I received a referral, it served as a much needed form of support. The website was and still is a great source for the how tos of attachment and resources. The funny thing is that it was not me, the daily visitor who posted a link to our blog. Oh yeah, P beat me to it, and what I find even funnier is that it is the only time he has referred to himself as "daddy." I have not looked at his post since, but I do believe it read "Proud daddy here..." I have a screen shot of the day it was published, because I am a proud parent as well.

It's hard to believe that three years ago today we were at SFO, having pizza, with the Northwest jet behind us, the jet that was going to take us to Japan, on our way to our daughter in China. We both had butterflies in our stomachs, because no matter how long you prepare for such a moment, well, there is no way to be prepared. We were embarking on an amazing journey,but were brokenhearted that JJ could not join us. We had prepared financially for JJ to join us, including covering his daily living costs during his absence. However, his then partner was not thrilled with the idea, and against P's wishes I did not push the issue. It is a decision that I have regretted every day. The only consolation we have is the amazing bond between SS and JJ, and how she truly idolizes her big brother. That is, when she is not bossing him around, stealing food off his plate and sometimes trying to kill him.

Although I had butterflies in my tummy, it was not for the usual reasons. I feared the long flight, heck I feared being on a plane. As I think I have posted before, two years before our referral, the county I worked for unwittingly paid for my acclimation to air travel. I traveled before, but was always an insufferable mess. Things were better when P came into my life, as he made it a point to hold my hand during take off and landing. It is something he still does, although I no longer need it. For those two years I volunteered to escort children for other coworkers. My only request was no overnight stays. Meaning that no matter how long it took me to reach my destination, I wanted to return on the next available flight. My reasoning was that such long travel days would acclimate me to the fourteen hours of flight time to China. It actually worked, and the best part is during my travels for work I made an obscene amount of overtime. Again, the only reason I was able to remain home as long as I did. Talk about killing two birds with one stone. Also, as I have stated before, while my official reason was that I wanted to get acclimated to being in a hunk of metal that defies the laws of physics and can plunge to my untimely death, the main reason was that I wanted to pay forward for the care that my child was going to have before we met her. Sappy, corny, cheesy, but true.

While waiting, among the mess of people at our departing gate, I spotted a couple. A normal couple, but from among the sea of people I remember being sure that they were on a journey like ours. I did not see them in Japan, and wondered why. We saw them in Guangzhou, at the White Swan with their baby girl. Who knew, not only do I have excellent gaydar (I need to post about sort of outing P's coworker, the man was in awe), baydar (baby radar, little people do things for me they do not usually do for their parents), but I also have Chinar.

My last e-mail or text was to Michelle. It was also as we were called to board the plane. I think P was on the phone with his sister. He had to cut the conversation short because it was time to depart and the hell if I wanted to wait an extra second to get to Baby S. I have heard many people speak negatively about "not having my own child." I loathe that expression. An argument often made is that 'true bonding" can only occur when one carries a child. Really? Then no father is ever bonded to their biological offspring! I am incredibly blessed to have experienced the birth of JJ and becoming SS's forever Mama. Completely different experiences, yet the same love and devotion for each child. Lets not forget that if all biological love was pure and everlasting there would be no need for CPS. Oh, and SS was fully and beautifully cooked when we met. HA! Getting off my high horse...

It was a life changing day, while we knew our lives would change, we had no idea the extent of what awaited us. Three years later we can't believe how fast time is flying by. Our Baby S is now SS, a four year old beauty, a true stunning creature of barely thirty pounds, but with a super hero alter ego. We marvel at this amazing gift daily, and are truly thankful that we are not the type to take ourselves or our parenting skills seriously. We royally screw up, and then we do our best to rectify our wrongs, and get through to SS that we are here forever, no givesie backsies. Not even when she becomes a defiant teenager and pushes our buttons like her brother did before her. And like then, we will fall on our swords about not being perfect, but will never waver on our commitment to our wondrous child.

SS, thank you for being such an amazing little girl, thank you for the laughter, but also for the tears. Because of you we are stronger, because of you we are once again blessed with unconditional love.

Boriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

2011-07-03T15:52:00.000-07:00

We have been having a boring summer, but we are not complaining. We had the trip of a lifetime in the summer of 2008. A year later we headed to New York and Puerto Rico, and last year we went to Chicago, Iowa; then reached the final destination on our thank you for supporting us during our wait for SS tour. Although we'd rather be in Maui this year, we are not even planning a staycation. We are traveled out and in no mood to leave our air conditioned abode. I was shocked today when I realized I had not posted in eleven days. I apologize for another water park post, but we have been up to nothing, and SS's family needs proof that she is still around.

Showing off her new bathing suit, and she actually selected a girly one.

I wished we were filming when I came home with a Buzz PFD for SS. I told her earlier that I had a treat for her and of course she was outside waiting when I came home. I hid the PFD behind my back and when she saw it she was speechless and slack jawed. It was a precious thing to see.

SS is ready to roll.

This is new behavior for SS, because up to last summer all she wanted to do was float on the lazy lagoon, sometimes up to ninety minutes. She did not last long.

SS MUST be between us, or at least touching both.

She posed and requested a picture.

The mushroom was very popular today.

P's money shot, we departed shortly after it was taken. SS was cold, and not even the long sleeve rash guard helped. The only down side of having a body completely devoid of fat.

Summer here we come.

2011-06-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

Wednesdays are SS and Mama day, it is our time to sleep late (in theory, because it has yet to happen) and spend the day together. Last Wednesday P went to work at an ungodly hour and came home early to spend time with us. Good thing we like the guy and allowed him to crash our girl day. P enjoyed himself so much that he did the same today, and we headed to the water park for some fun, because it was a very hot 103 degrees. Last night P gave me my anniversary present (even though we have a long standing no gift agreement), an Olympus waterproof camera. I was very disappointed when my previous waterproof camera broke during our last days in Maui. Since we take so many pictures of SS in water, P thought it would be a good idea to buy a new one. We are hoping this one holds up.

She's lean, she's mean, she's a sun and water worshiping machine.

Belated Baba's Day dinner. Old age has made P a pragmatic man. He did not feel like waiting for hours at his favorite steak joint last Sunday (they do not accept reservations), instead, he wanted to hand out with us, and wait until it was less crowded.

Taking a picture of Baba. SS is really good with Baba's iPhone, I won't let her mess with mine.

We were very impressed with how well SS did with her first steak dinner. She had not eaten this much in a long time. P had to text a picture of his tiny carnivore to Grandpa.

SS is getting more daring on the slide and we are having a blast watching her progress.

Yummy sushi.

2011-06-16T11:15:00.000-07:00

Even though SS has had quite a few wild moments lately, her behavior when dining out is still consistent. So far we are grateful that we do not have to worry about where we dine, because SS always does well. P suggested sushi yesterday for dinner and I was doubtful when we left the park. SS was in a mood, and we were all tired since we had not been exposed to the sun since Maui. We chilled out at home for a while, showered, and hunger made the decision an easy one.
BTW, SS managed to acquire color during our short time under the sun. P and I acquired redness. Again, what happened to my ability to tan? Is that something we lose with age?

The sushi place P chose is very good, very small and we had never seen children there. The last time we were there was shortly before we departed for China, so quite a while. We waited outside for a table and once we entered we immediately encountered the look. You know, the "Great, there's a little brat here to ruin our dining experience" look. Not even SS's cuteness can prevent the look. But soon people realize that we have not brought a screaming, cutlery throwing, water spilling, miniature Neanderthal into their happy place, and they chill. Granted, SS does engage in the aforementioned behaviors at home, we are only praising her out of home behavior. There was only one tense moment when SS unexpectedly began to sing at TOP volume, we quickly reminded her to use her inside voice, and she immediately reduced her volume (a miracle). By that time SS had the patrons and staff eating out of her hand, and they just laughed. Thank you SS for a a fun dinner.

Now I feel horrible owning up to less than stellar behavior on my part. Although SS is used to seeing and never getting wasabi, this time she could not let it go. Our usual explanation that it is very spicy, that it would hurt her tongue, is usually enough. After the 50th explanation I decided to allow SS to have the tiniest taste possible. I am ashamed to say it worked, the expression on her face was priceless, and we were ready with a lot of water. I felt horrible, but some things we need to experience in order to understand. We do not think SS will be asking for wasabi anytime soon. I think that one lost me the mother of the year award.

We kind of overdid it with the ordering, blame it on our long absence. Plus we had to get potstickers and rice for SS. The roll in front of the water glasses is a Pierre Roll, P ordered it on a whim and it was delicious. Best roll we have had since Vancouver (WA), wish we had noted what was inside. Funny that our best sushi experiences were in Vancouver (BC) and Vancouver (WA). We obviously had a lot of leftovers.

Ten years married, and we celebrated at the water park.

2011-06-15T17:11:00.000-07:00

The weather G0ds have not smiled upon us until today. Even though P purchased our season passes a month ago, it was not hot enough until today to return to one of SS's favorite places. So that is how we ended up spending our tenth wedding anniversary at the water park. Next time you are tempted to state that having children does not or should not change your life or priorities, think about this one.

It's funny that this small water park is so dear to SS, and the place where her progress is more noticeable. Last year she was still wobbly walking uphill and needed our help at times. Today she plowed upward on her own, not bothering to look back. Last year one of us would go with her to the top, wait in line with her, while the other waited at the bottom of the slide. She still freaked out when a child would stand behind her and leave the line. School has paid off in this regard because she did not ask us to go with her to the top, and nicely lined up, not moving from her spot when a child stood behind her. True, many kids do the same by their second birthday, but we don't care; SS is stronger emotionally and physically and we are proud of her.

We planned to go out for sushi this evening. Hopefully Her Highness will allow us.

Making sure Baba got wet.

Back in the wetsuit because there is no fat in that body. We thought she was going to need a new wetsuit this year and planned on going shopping Saturday. Looks like she is getting a third year out of this one. Not a bad investment.

SS decided that sharing is not her thing after all, no more fries for Baba.

What do little pirate girls do after water fun? They warm up by donning their little pirate girl robe.

The Snoopy sippy preceded SS by six years. We went to Knott's in 2002, and upon checking in noticed that there was a Snoopy package. We asked the desk clerk what it entailed and she showed us a Snoopy pail with some items inside for children. The clerk gave it to me after realizing I was a Snoopy fan. We kept it in the garage and had forgotten about it until now. We love finding things we had for SS for so long.

Three years ago...

2011-06-10T17:39:00.000-07:00

We saw SS's beautiful face for the first time. Although I love my children equally, and I reacted with equal joy upon seeing their faces, there is something to be said in favor of a fully cooked child. No gooey mess, no swollen face, no cone head. Looking at her referral pictures is something we do daily. SS never fails to note that she WAS a baby in those pictures and now she IS a big girl.

True, in some ways SS is so far removed from those pictures. Her facial features have changed significantly. Then there's the hair, the hair her grandpa gushed about when he met her one month after we arrived home. Grandpa requested that we keep her hair long, because it was "beautiful and lustrous." As I have said many times, I asked if he was willing to move nearby and take over hair duties. Although her physical growth has not been what we hoped for, she has grown, she is no longer that tiny little baby. She has lost the baby chub she acquired when she came home, her elongated face tells her age to the careful observer.

In many other ways SS is still the little girl in those pictures. We often see the deer caught between headlights look of her mug shot (middle picture). And in a weird way we can't explain, it has become our favorite. Maybe because other than her blurry finding ad, it is the earliest picture we have of our daughter. We have also been blessed by many smiles and laughs, like the picture on the left. SS has a contagious laughter that is also melodic. OK, she also has a maniacal laughter that is plain creepy, but we are going for sappy here. Then there are the moments that have left no doubt that SS was teed off in the picture on the right. Although we had never met our daughter we were dead on when we proudly posted her referral pictures. SS, we are so lucky to have you.

Some people never learn.

2011-06-07T21:10:00.001-07:00

With the current hyper awareness of how texting/sending/posting without thinking can ruin someone's life, one would think everyone would be mindful about engaging in any kind of electronic discourse that might come across as improper.

Apparently not...

Anothergain.

2011-06-01T11:02:00.001-07:00

Move over S@r@h P@lin, you are not the only one taking a stab at reinventing the English language. An obviously downside to spending so much time with the inarticulate mess that is me, is that SS is becoming increasingly adventurous with her interpretation of how English should evolve. Quite a while ago SS began asking for "another again," and we consistently corrected her and explained that again was sufficient, she did not need another. Not only did the another agains increased in frequency, SS drew her line on the sand to let us know she was not about to take grammatical lessons from the likes of us. She did this by combining the two words into "anothergain," and we can't get her to stop saying it. Cowards that we are, we stopped trying. We are confident that SS is intelligent and will eventually find her way back to proper use of the language. For now have fun little one.

Ms. A told P that SS is now talking even more at school, and LOUD. That cracked us up because we are sure that they are regretting their initial position that our daughter was mute. Now we are not the only ones who miss her mute and cute days (thanks for that line Teresa). That being said, we are pleased with SS's progress in preschool, with her new routine and how both she and P are easing into their new found, albeit forced closeness. I have not dropped off nor picked up SS from school in a few weeks. I really miss that time, but it's P's turn to bask in the joys of more hands on parenting. It is also time for me to cede some of that time, and to know what is like to miss my child.

I am trying to convince P to recreate another disastrous TJ trip with SS for me on video. Poor guy braved the store with SS, handed her a little cart, thinking it would go well, but SS had other plans. She went from placid little girl, into banshee on acid mode. P's mind was still reeling from what he had witnessed when I came home, and did the most freaking hilarious imitation of SS. He had never seen SS like that, but sadly I had, and glad now that he knows what is like to take our banshee out in public. It's a gamble and we do not always win.

I should have known that this picture of serenity was not going to last long.

This is what she was up to barely five minutes later.

Hangover

2011-05-28T20:04:00.000-07:00

Not the most articulate or appropriate thought, but that is the first thing that comes to mind when I find them like this. It happens quite often, and it does not get old. SS is four years old, and as I recall, at that age, JJ was far more independent, needed cuddles, but did not need the closeness that SS needs. Snapshots like this one remind us how emotionally fragile our girl is, and how careful we have to be to reassure her that we will never abandon her. This is our reality and we do not begrudge it, because SS has blessed our lives in ways we never expected.

This blog is a microcosm of who we are as a family. We are P, K , JJ and SS, a family united in an unusual way, yet experiencing normal growing pains. The reader reads and sees what we allow them to read and see. They are allowed (yes, all three of them) to run their imaginations wild and wonder what we do wrong, how we are royally messing things up, how we are not raising our child like we should. Perhaps they think I run the show, I simply snapped my fingers one day and P decided to leave everything he knew and wanted, just to please me (excuse me while I hurl). Others will think that a young Svengali forced me to rethink marriage and I am in a situation I never wanted and still don't want. Whatever...

We have documented a lot of the bad, because we never want our kids to look back and feel that we glossed over their lives. Posting is not done on a whim, nothing is published until BOTH P and I approve. As an adult, JJ is also consulted when his childhood antics are used to mainly make fun of our lousy parenting skills. And although we do not ask SS, we always post mindful that she will read our words later in life.

JJ and SS are our focus, we know we are not perfect parents, we have documented many of our failings here. We do not take ourselves too seriously, but loving, cherishing, and protecting our children is paramount. So what if we choose to tackle parenting with a sense of humor? We feel confident in doing this because no matter our failings we have happy, healthy, intelligent, wanted, loved beyond belief, well adjusted children, with a wonderful sense of humor.

So what if we joke that they are stoned, drunk or both? Live and let live.

At least we had wine at home.

2011-05-17T05:53:00.000-07:00

Fridays are rough on P, albeit self-inflicted. He is at work at an ungodly hour, and comes home to a very well rested SS. If we are lucky we get 5 minutes together, and off I go. That leaves a shattered P and a hyper SS to fend for themselves. But P is adamant about no more than three days at school for SS, and I admire that he is willing to sacrifice his beauty sleep in order to do what is best for his child.

I do not have the usual hang ups about Friday the 13th, black cats and such. I was born on the 13th day of the month, so that helps. But this Friday the 13th, little Chinese girls were at their wildest, and mine was among them. When P answered the phone, barely four hours into his nine hour stint with SS, he sounded very tired. While I'm asking P to speak up I can hear SS in the background going full throttle at something. I felt really bad for the guy, and asked him if he had some wine. Dude was way ahead of me, already on his second glass. A very well deserved second glass.

Since SS was behaving like she was on meth I expected her to crash and burn, affording her weary father some rest. Silly woman who dares to dream such folly. SS was wide awake until 11:00 p.m. I did my best when I arrived home at 9:30 p.m. to steer her away from her Baba, but she was on a I-am-joined-at-the-hip-with-my-Baba-really-don't-care-if-he-is-about-to-drop mood. P was out by 10:30, holding SS in his arms, and that is where she was at 11:00 p.m. when sleep finally claimed her.

SS's parting shot to me that day "Bye Mama, don't get lost." WTF?

Language progress leads to language woes.

2011-05-13T21:44:00.000-07:00

Ms. A reports that SS is talking more at school. Good, because we could use a rest from our hyper chatterbox. Her language is also clearer, which is for the most a plus. The down side is that now SS's thoughts straight to mouth are understood by others, and that is not such a good thing.

This week I had the pleasure to wake up our beautiful beast for school. SS made it very clear that she was in a foul mood and acted accordingly. First she tried to pull at my heartstrings (luckily I do not have a heart) by saying "Mama, I miss you, not going to school." Oh SS, if you were in the hands of first time parents that line would have earned you a day off. But not only are we pros, we have parented the greatest manipulator this world has generated, your brother. So I proceeded with our morning routine. Not dissuaded by my cold heart SS moved on to a firm approach, she petulantly announced "Mama, I'm not going anywhere." That got an unexpected laugh from me. The cheek of my girl caught me off guard.

On Wednesday we ran some errands and SS kept me on my toes. We were rather busy on our third store of the day when SS noticed a very rotund toddler wobbling between his parents. He was probably half SS's age, same height, and three times her weight. That is when SS's clearer speech was not a good thing. The boy's face was flushed, SS pointed at him and said "That boy has a red face, he looks so silly." UGH, the parents obviously understood and were not amused. As I was uttering something akin to admonishment, SS blew her cheeks with air and announced "And he is SO BIG!" Big coward that I am I hightailed it to another aisle. P, I am with you, I am starting to miss her mute days.

But SS was only warming up at that time. While we are at the supermarket P asked me to pick up wine on the way home. He then changed his mind when I told him that SS was reaching her shopping limit. But a few minutes later SS was happily downing a strawberry banana yogurt drink, so I reconsidered that wine run. Well, it appears that when they go to Trader J0e's P allows SS to use one of their kid shopping carts. I was in a bit of a hurry and unceremoniously dumped SS in a regular shopping cart. SS began to wail at top volume and said "But we need a little cart for Baba's wine. It's how we get Baba's wine. I need to help with Baba's wine." It is almost 5:00 p.m., the place is packed, and my daughter cannot stop screaming about the proper protocol to get Baba's wine. I wanted the store to crumble on me, lots of people were amused; I was not among them.

When we made it to the register the cashier began to chat up a now calm SS. When she asked how she was doing, SS pulled the saddest face ever and said "sad." Nice cashier asked why and that is when SS folded her arms, gave me a death stare and said "We need a little cart to get Baba's wine." That got a lot of laughs, again, none were mine. I just wanted to go home, but nice cashier was having too good a time to let it drop. In mock disgust she turned to me and stated the importance of allowing my child to pick Baba's wine in whatever manner she sees fit. My name is K, and I am the mother of the world's littlest wino.

Move over J*mi Hendr*x, not only does SS play a mean guitar, she makes her own guitar. How did two plain fools win the parenthood lottery twice?

Happy

2011-05-08T09:41:00.000-07:00

We will edit her name later today. We are just so unjustifiably proud that she traced her name.

Should we have named her Hattie?

2011-05-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

SS's Auntie C loves hats,so I gathered some of SS's hat pictures for her viewing amusement. Then I thought it would be a good way to end Spring Fling, and of course hats off to all who participated.

As you look at the pictures remember that this is the same child we could not get a hat on while in China. SS has come such a long way. One thing is certain, our girl can wear a hat with panache.

Perfection

We have to admit that in this one SS looks drunk.

She got an awesome tan in Puerto Rico.

And now recent some recent pictures:
P bought two of these Wednesday for to get us ready for water park season. This one is mine, SS's is pink. She did not waste any time commandeering my hat, and I do not do pink.

We bought these one for SS when we went to the Halloween Haunt at Great America, then somehow forgot where it was. Here she is eighteen months later finally wearing it.

Cheeky monkey.

This is the priciest hat we have purchased for SS.

We made it, Post #30 of Spring Fling! A big thank you to M3 for helping me conquer the Winter blahs.

She is my sunshine.

2011-05-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had our weekly highfalutin lunch at the hundred dollar store. I also came up with the bloody brilliant idea to take a walk on the first day of real heat we have had in a long time. Never mind that we had to return to the store to stock up on food.

SS has a pretty brain bucket, but I managed to pinch her chin while trying to put it on, and she had a meltdown. We decided to forgo the helmet and the hassle.

Guess who got stuck carrying the quad when Her Highness decided the bridge would be "too bumpy" for her to drive? Typical four year old that she is, SS made the decision prior to trying driving on the bridge. Like I said, brilliant idea on my part.

She then tried it for a full thirty seconds before she returned the quad to her Baba.

Disappointed at the lack of duck sighting.

Shooing birds away.

Those annoying birds!

Our really loud daughter had the gall to complain that a child was being too loud for her taste.

SS is quite the consummate drama queen.

Her rosy cheeks were our cue to head indoors. It was only 85 degrees at that point, imagine an extra 30 degrees in a month or so.

She was never even close to break the speed limit.

When I am away from SS I always call to reassure her that I will return, because that is what Mamas and Babas do. This has become vital to her emotionally during the past eight weeks. I also sing her the SS song (a total ripoff but she loves it), and enjoy my sunshine's ending. Really have to secure her college education, winning Idol is not on SS's future. Of course I am no prize when it comes to singing.

This should satisfy the grandparent fix.

Post #29 of Spring Fling. Feliz Cinco de Mayo and wish me luck, it's my first on call shift in almost four years.

Perhaps she is ambivalently ambidextrous.

2011-05-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

As I have mentioned before, we were worried that as SS approached age four, she still did not have a clear hand preference. A few months ago an adoptive mother posted on the forums we frequent about the same concern. I was surprised by the amount of 3-4 year olds that did not have a hand preference. Also, there where quite a few posts about ambidextrous children. Since SS is now fully four we have been watching her closely, but still do not have answers. The paranoid in me is getting anxious again. Since with JJ his lack of hand preference was a predecessor to some language difficulties. So we have been reading a bit about this, and have learned a few things.

First, some terminology:
Q. What is the difference in meaning between these groups of words?
* Hand dominance, handedness, and hand preference
A. Hand dominance means that one hand has the most influence or control. Handedness means that one hand is more reliable for use across a range of skillful acts. Hand preference means that one hand is preferred or chosen.

Then on to the BIG question:
Q. When does hand dominance emerge in normal development?
A. According to Dr. Arnold Gesell, the developmental progression in the first year begins with use of one hand, then the other, then alternating hands, and then using both hands together, first symmetrically (about 4 months), then one assisting the other (about 1 year). Tasks requiring each hand to perform different skilled movements develop during the preschool years and beyond. A majority of children show a preference by age 3 and most by school age, but Dr. Gesell wrote that hand dominance doesn't become well integrated in some normal children until eight or nine years of age (Gesell & Ames, 1947). It is also true that some adults demonstrate skillful ambidexterity, especially in sports.

But wait, there's more:
Q. How do left-handers compare with right-handers in functional performance, and why should we be knowledgeable about the differences?
A. A large number of research studies have found that the number of left-handers is greater in persons with learning disabilities. Even studies of individuals without disabilities show that right-handers do better than left-handers academically, but those differences are not apparent until adolescence. However, in young children, handedness is seldom found to be related to learning or problem-solving abilities (Coren, 1992). Elementary age right-handers and left-handers performed equally well on the Southern California Motor Accuracy Test (Smith, 1983). We should understand the problems experienced by normal left-handers in a primarily right-handed society (writing from left to right, using scissors, operating zippers, etc.), since so many children with disabilities have less involvement on the left side (due to greater incidence of left hemisphere damage). In other words, some of their functional problems may be due to the use of the left hand, rather than the disability.

Oh well, we have no choice but to wait this out until SS is darn well and ready.

Last evening P had a surprise for me when I came home from school. Things are slow at work, so he decided to take a day off. I was able to sleep in late (7 a.m.), and P made us a yummy breakfast with bacon, scrambled eggs and hash browns. We then sat outside for a while to settled our very full tummies. The forecast was for a high of 90. Summer is coming and we can't wait.

While we lazy parents sat around, SS got her Spring cleaning groove on, and went to work.

SS is loving her scooter and I am afraid she is going to break something she might need later.

The girl was on a roll, even cleaning her slide.

Thanking Baba for the yummy breakfast and day at home with us.

It's so cute that they both have ET toes. :)

Then I remembered that SS had another Easter basket still in the van.

Frisbee action shot.

All those toys were fun, but it is all about the candy.

SS calls them MM's, forget about the &.

Post #28 of Spring Fling peoples (an SSism).

Pillow talk.

2011-05-03T19:21:00.001-07:00

Kind of disappointed that our AHA SS moment was so anti-climatic. It's who we are, boring old us.

Tonight I had my last class and will write about that later. It's been eight long weeks of drastically changing our routine and turning SS's world upside down. And that is only what, the fourth time in her short life? The three of us learned a lot during those weeks, but I think I took the biggest hit. I felt I was neglecting my child. P was freaking amazing, even when I was a royal witch because of the guilt. I spent five evenings away from my child, and it was coupled with P taking over school dropping off (sometimes) and picking up (always).

But let's move on to something positive. About two weeks ago I arrived home from class, and just wanted to crash next to P and SS. P was out but SS was very much awake. Again I felt guilty and tried to keep awake for my baby. I asked the same questions I have been asking since she started school last October. But this time SS surprised me when I got to "what did you eat at school?" SS said "Ms. T made soup with peas, carrots, noo noos (noodles), and chicken. It was very good Mama." I had been at school when Ms. T made that soup and SS could (or would not) tell me anything about it. Baby step, another welcome baby step.

We know we won't be posting videos of SS's intellectual prowess and command of three languages. It's the approach we chose, and we are aware that she is behind her peers. But we are so proud of her progress.

Post #27 of Spring Fling, I can see clearly now the rain is gone...

Victoria, British Columbia.

2011-05-02T21:32:00.000-07:00

We had a great time in BC, and we are sure it would not have been so much fun had we not settled the baby issue. Back then Baby S was known as Child 2, since JJ was Child 1. We actually spent well over a year referring to our daughter as Child 2. We are such creative types. Being in Vancouver really made us miss the diversity of Southern California. The area where we lived then was devoid of color,and we knew that we would not be able to raise our daughter there. After Vancouver we took the ferry to Victoria and did more sightseeing and camping, while talking about Child 2.

This may come across as mean today, but he was alive (and fair game) in 2004.

Post #26 of Spring Fling, we are almost there.

She was conceived WHERE!?

2011-05-01T22:35:00.000-07:00

The title is a text message I received from a friend after she read this post. We planned to post about this pivotal moment in our journey to SS during the winter Olympics. But we are horrible procrastinators and here we are today. In late July 2004 we drove to British Columbia for a camping trip. Little did we know that we would reach a milestone during our time there.

There, on camping space #21 is where SS was conceived. That first morning in Vancouver we were able to bare our souls and be honest. I thought P needed/wanted a biological child. P thought the same about me. And there SS, in a very unromantic setting, we were able to open up and discuss what we wanted. What we wanted was YOU, we had/loved/raised/cherished JJ, but we wanted a daughter. We did not contemplate for a second playing biological roulette. We wanted you, and once we were honest about out aspirations, it did not take long for us to know what we knew and had yet to disclose. Our daughter was waiting in China. SS we know we are incredibly lucky to have you. We plan to return to Vancouver and (sort of ) recreate that camping trip with you. So yeah, you were conceived in Vancouver, British Columbia.

SS, we took this picture right after we made our feelings clear about you. Look at Baba's face, completely beaming about you. I know you can't see my face, but you can tell I am smiling.

Vancouver Lookout

I know it's silly, but this is my favorite picture from the trip.

I felt like an Ewok, and not ashamed to admit that it was fun.

Post #25 of Spring Fling.

The sun is shining, time to get ready for summer.

2011-04-30T18:27:00.002-07:00

We are sun, sand and surf creatures. Summer is around the corner and we can't wait. Baba bought SS a Buzz camping chair and as you can see below, she did not like it.

OMG, a Sonic cherry limeade on my cup holder!

Post #24 of Spring Fling.

The one where I sorta cheat.

2011-04-29T22:20:00.000-07:00

It's a good thing that M3 did not impose stringent rules on her Spring Fling, because I am about to sort of cheat. I arrived home a little while ago, kissed my waiting bundle of (rightful) resentment, and am about to do a face plant. I am still feeling poorly. But if all 4 of you stick around (I think we may have gained one extra reader due to Spring Fling), in the words of the Terminator, "I'll be back." And that is as of tomorrow, because even though she seems easy going, I do not want M3 to kick me out of the Spring Fling fun (said totally tongue in cheek). :)

Post #23 (unless M3 lays down the law) of Spring Fling.

Have you ever received an Easter egg in the mail?

2011-04-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

We have not, but SS received a surprise in the mail from Michelle. And boy was SS excited about this very special egg that came straight to her mailbox. No annoying kids vying for it as well. When we said we were bunnied out, little did we know that SS still had one more Easter egg left. Thank you Michelle for remembering our daughter. We were impressed since it never occurred to us that the postal service would accept irregularly shaped items. Very clever.

(Im)patiently waiting for Baba to remove the securing tape from her egg.

Yeah, Baba is back with my treat!

Wow.

The egg was packed with goodies, Sweet Tarts, Apple Sours, Banditz bands, and 2 stamps. Amazing what one can get in there.

Post # 22 of Spring Fling.

Baba does not mean grandfather.

2011-04-27T15:39:00.000-07:00

P and I were discussing how people seem more willing to approach me and SS versus approaching him and SS. People usually feel more comfortable approaching a woman alone with a child than a man alone with a child. It's just one of society's unwritten but well known quirks. In our case, it also helps that SS cannot complete a sentence without saying Mama several times. It is hilarious, like she is going for an all time record on how many times she can say Mama in a day. Even though someone may initially think that I am her grandmother, nanny or random family friend, SS unknowingly sets them straight.

P and SS had a sans Mama outing to Co$tco recently. SS was in the shopping cart (still the rule around here), and when she was separated from P at the register, she pointed to P and told the clerk that he was her Baba. The clerk turned to P and asked "You are her grandfather?" Poor P, this is the second time that he has been asked that question. How could anyone think that the youthful hotness that is my husband could be SS's grandfather? Then again, if JJ were to have a child, that would make P one hot, young grandfather. But we are not there yet...

I never thought P would have a hard time with the passage of time. Isn't that pretty much female territory? But every so often he drops comments about aging, or how he is not as young as he used to be. I find him more attractive now, than when most people thought I was committing a felony. The only reason those two persons thought he was SS's grandfather, well, truly, it's because they are morons. There really is no other explanation. Coupled with their intellectual limitations, not many are used to the term Baba. Most young children use it to refer to their bottles. Mama is universal, Baba not so much. So don't fret my pet (how's that for payback P?), you are still as hot as you were the day we met.

I am back to doing the morning routine because to force P and SS to coexist early in the morning is an insurmountable task. We are likely to see an Israel - Palestine agreement before getting those two to work together first thing in the day. I hate how the sun messed up the pic, but at least she is smiling. We need to get window shades for SS again.

Now that SS is (in her mind) a full fledged staff member of Baba's lab, she enjoys taking advantage of the perks. First stop, the lunch room, where SS does not have to worry about someone having a Toy Story snack container or identical straw cup.

Next stop is her desk, SS is now a pro at getting on the adult chair. How rude of them not to order an SS size chair.

SS obviously likes looking at herself while at work.

Post #21 of Spring Fling, hoping this nasty cold does not mess up my streak.

Easter brunch.

2011-04-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

Since we had reservations for 2:00 p.m. (we procrastinated big time this year), SS had a lot of time to play with her TS Easter loot. She also has a Sn00py basket waiting in the van. We will have to figure out when to give it to her. Since SS was dressed in pink in most of the previous pictures, we chose to go with primary colors. The dress she's wearing was a gift from P's sister, and we think it resided in SS's closet for almost two years. About time for SS to wear her gift.

SS squealed with joy when she saw broccoli on her plate. The girl had her pick of all kinds of gooey, kid friendly food, and there were sweets galore. Nope, SS stuck to her scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage and broccoli. Of course SS threw back a few virgin Mimosas. We are wondering how long before SS realizes the evils of vegetables.

All pictures taken with the cell phones, yucky quality.

Baba and his bunny.

Yummy broccoli.

In an effort to encourage others to treat SS as the four year old big girl she is, we are doing the same. Still, I was very nervous having her use a booster. SS moves around a lot and I fear a head injury if she takes a dive.

I left the purse in the car and neither one of us felt like walking back to get SS's bib. We made do with the napkin, and SS managed to keep her dress clean.

Always hamming it up.

Post # 20, only ten more to go.

SS liked her Buzz Easter bucket.

2011-04-25T14:30:00.000-07:00

Since we could not find a Buzz basket for SS we made our own. It was full of crap that SS really has no use for, but that is what Easter is all about. We just love how her beautiful face lit up upon seeing her loot.

Really, for me?

I could not resist the Storm Trooper Pez dispenser, the only non TS item in the bucket.

Post #19 of Spring Fling. We might actually pull this off.

Happy Easter; don't know about you, but we are absolutely bunnied out.

2011-04-24T23:10:00.000-07:00

We are aware that bunnied is not a word, but that is exactly how we feel, freaking bunnied out. On Wednesday, after a quick wardrobe change, we met P at the mall for SS's bunny picture. She marched right in and made small talk with the Easter bunny while the camera person was setting up.

After the bunny picture SS requested to have her picture taken in front of the fountain. The kid knows she is photogenic and milks it.

I am so glad P made it and as a result we had a smiling SS.

Now I can get over the non smiling picture from last year. We really wanted to do a re-shoot, but instead we ended up at Urgent Care when when I almost decapitated our daughter.

Her first Easter bunny picture in 2009. Gosh, she has grown and changed so much since then.

Post #18 of Spring Fling.

It must not have been that memorable a kiss, SS is keeping her options open.

2011-04-23T17:52:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to ~~grill SS~~ inquire about L and S. The consensus was that L, aka Cowboy was the clear winner, because SS took the time to change his name. Ah, so heart warming to see our Chinese daughter practice her version of Manifest Destiny. SS was talking about how much fun she's had with Cowboy and S. Again, it looked like the former was ahead. Then SS began to giggle, lowered her voice and whispered "Mama, I sat beside S yesterday morning." HA! At the tender age of four our daughter has mastered a concept that takes us adults years to grasp, and some never grasp at all. SS knows that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and she is a spear fisher(wo)man. Our girl is keeping her options wide open. We are so proud of our tiny Jezebel.

Please try not to cringe at the pictures below. Guess what SS did today? She did have to make up for last year, and we promise it is the last one. SS is not willing to let her "fluffy pink jacket" go. This time she paired it with another gift from Auntie C, a fluffy pink hat. I really want that jacket in her memory box, but SS is unable or unwilling to part with it at this time.

Michelle, we are deferring to your expertise in early childhood development. We can't wait for SS to find boys yucky. Hopefully until she is 50. Yeah, 50 is a great age for our daughter to begin dating. Because it worked out that well with her parents...

Post #17 of Spring Fling people!

A date with Baba.

2011-04-22T21:51:00.001-07:00

Yesterday P had yet another news flash for me when he arrived home with SS. Cowboy and SS were caught kissing. WHAT??????!!!!!! That was my very calm response. She is only four, what the heck is with that? So much for easy going and laid back for those two. Not only did they break the school's rules, but SS is still banned from kissing anyone other than Mama, Baba and JJ. So we were doubly concerned. We both talked to our kissing machine, and at least with me SS would not rat out Cowboy. That boy is lucky I was not the one picking up SS yesterday.

This afternoon SS and Baba had a movie date, they watched Romeo and Juliet in 3D. Maybe one of these days I'll get to have a date with P that does not involve the world's cutest third wheel. But we better enjoy her to the max, because SS refuses to slow down her growth.

Rocking the 3D glasses. Wait, aren't they supposed to return those at the end of the movie?

Post #16 of Spring Fling.

School egg hunt.

2011-04-21T22:48:00.000-07:00

This morning was P's turn to endure the madness that is an Easter egg hunt. But it was at SS's school, thus we ~~knew~~ hoped she would be in her comfort zone. P was unable to remain for the egg hunt. thankfully Ms. K agreed to take pics for us.

Cowboy warning the Easter Bunny to keep his filthy paws off his girl.

The Junior class.SS is small but not glaringly out of place. There are at least three other children the same height as SS.

Post #15 of Spring Fling. I can't believe I reached the halfway point.

Easter egg hunt.

2011-04-20T16:03:00.000-07:00

SS participated in the Easter egg hunt at the YMCA. P was unable to attend because once again his employer's stinginess and lack of planning trickles down to us. One of P's most important instruments is once again inoperable (only third to fourth time this month). Since the tech lives out of the area, when he is here P is a captive audience. But as luck will have it, rumor has it that the Easter bunny will be hopping into SS's school tomorrow, and there will be an egg hunt as well. Not only does SS gets to make up for missing last year (I was hospitalized), but P and I keep some semblance of sanity by not double dipping into the madness that is an egg hunt.

Initially SS was overwhelmed and I was seriously missing P. The first stop was inside, where the kids signed in, and then moved on to decorate bunny ears and construction paper eggs. SS requested to be held, buried her head on my neck and stated "Mama, not like it here. Let's go see Baba." Sweetie, even if we left there would be no visit to Baba. When it was her turn to have her face painted SS began to cry. I told her that JJ would love to see her pretty bunny face. That was enough to get her to calm down. They did the bunny pokey and SS refused to dance. WTH? Thankfully once outside SS got a second wind and had a great time, but kept looking for JJ and Baba, as if they were going to materialize in the middle of the field.

The dress and blouse SS was wearing are the same she wore to her first Easter egg hunt. OMG, we can't believe how tiny she was back then and that she actually had some baby chub. The dress still fits because two years ago we had adjusted the dress straps to the max. SS could get more use out of the dress, but after this wearing it is going into her memory box. I had the denim jacket in the van a few days ago but could not find it today. SS did not wear the whole outfit because I did not want us to be late. SS's first egg hunt also led to her newspaper debut.

OK, I won't smile for you guys, but just for JJ.

Here Mama, you color my bunny ears.

Quick hug.

Quick Buzz pose.

And off she went...

Although SS has three Easter buckets she insisted on using her Buzz bucket. Big surprise there, right?

What do we have here?

Ahhhhhh chocolate! SS LOVES chocolate.

Something good has resulted from the outrageous amount of tuition we are paying, SS is quick to help with clean up. That is when it is NOT at home. But at least she made the staff person smile. Check out SS's bunny tail. The white on this pic and the one with the bunny are SS's second bunny ears. Me and my darn bad picture taking.

Showing off the egg she decorated. Love the butterfly, penguin and whale motif.

Caution: Bunny hard at work.

What? No, of course I am not planning to eat all the candy and chocolates. I am merely inspecting them.

Post #14 of Spring Fling, and thank goodness for Easter, as it provides something to blog.

She liked him so much that she decided to change his name.

2011-04-19T21:16:00.000-07:00

Apropos of Spring Fling P had quite the newsflash for me this afternoon. It appears that our daughter has found a BFF or has begun her first school romance. Figures, now that P is taking over school duties, not only is SS making real progress, he gets all the good stuff. Yeah, I am jealous, so sue me for wanting to be part of all the good in my kids' lives. SS was talking this afternoon about her friend L and her friend S, both males. I do not blame the girl because my best friends have always been males. Then when one of my best friends became my husband, he put a stop to the male BFF thing.

But even if it is a budding romance do not expect SS to play dainty little flower. SS is sending a clear message as to who is in charge. Her opening salvo is classic SS, she changed his name to Cowboy. P got a kick (and the pleasure of, *sniff*) watching SS stubbornly refer to L as cowboy, ignoring the boy's protests that "I am not cowboy, I am L." SS won that round and we feel bad for poor ~~Cowboy~~ L, because not only has his name changed against his will, but he is about discover the obstinate magic that is SS. Then again average looking L landed a heck of a beauty, so I guess they are even.

The teacher told P that SS and L are "Kindred spirits, easy going and laid back." OK, quickly changing my mind about Ms. A. Has she met our daughter?

SS and (part of) L at her school's playground. How sweet it is to play with rather than parallel to your classmates.

L is a smart boy and did not even bother to claim the truck from SS. We think this boy gets it.

Post lucky #13 of Spring Fling.

Temporary class pet.

2011-04-18T21:33:00.000-07:00

Ms. T brought one of her many bunnies to school to share with the kids. SS did not hesitate and got her grubby little hands on the bunny. She was very careful and tender with the baby bunny. I think Ms. T said he is three weeks old, and is a big boy for being so young. We'll defer to her knowledge because we don't know a thing about bunnies. P made a pitch for a pet by remarking how darn cute SS looked with Devin the bunny. Not going to happen, because I know the responsibility will land squarely on my lap. Sorry dude and dudette, not pets for you. I am heartless that way.

Post #12 of Spring Fling.

2011-04-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

Almost messed up the Spring Fling challenge. My asthma and allergies are really kicking my rear end. I am lethargic and crabby. No idea how P and SS can stand being around me. I do pain well, also fevers, but give me a runny nose and I freaking fall apart. Can't stand the common cold and make everyone around me as miserable as I feel. In a very uncharacteristic move for me, I am joining SS and P in bed as soon as I click publish. Misery does love company.

Post #11 of Spring Fling. Yeah me!

Still swimming.

2011-04-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

Al final
las obras quedan, las gentes se van.
Otros que vienen las continuarán...
¡La vida sigue igual!

Cutest chick ever.

Post #10 of Spring Fling!

Just like Baba

2011-04-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

A few days ago SS was seating next to me while I uploaded some pictures to Co$tco to order enlargements. We have a few albums at their website and SS immediately noticed and focused on the picture below.

This was our first glimpse of SS almost three years ago. We could not get to the other two pictures for a while, because we cried so much we could not see. SS is used to the story of the first time we ever saw her face, and talks about how happy we were to see her mugshot. From there she goes on to give a short version of our journey to meet her in China. I was not surprised when she focused on this picture. Except that the commentary was a bit different this time.

SS: "Look Mama, it's Baby S!" She distinguishes between her baby days and her SS days.
Me: "Yes that is Baby S's picture."
SS: " I in China, but you and Baba not in China."
Me: "You are right sweetie, you were still waiting for us in China when the picture was taken."
SS: "I so cute Baby S Mama. LOOK Mama, I have a haircut just like Baba's!"

The last statement was followed by a fit of giggles from SS and more talk about being just like Baba. Huh?

P had just sheared his curly top a few nights before SS saw the picture. I know the girl adores her father, but I was a tad worried about SS asking for a haircut to match her Baba's. Our girl has amazing hair, and since P and I both have ugly fros we want to keep her hair long for as long as we can. For now we are OK with SS thinking of having a haircut rather than the reality that her head was most likely shaved for the convenience of the SWI staff. Since she thinks she was so darn cute with a bald head, all scissors and the hair clippers are in lockdown.

Post #9 of Spring Fling. Think I'll make it?

Showing her true colors.

2011-04-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

When P arrived at school on Tuesday, Ms. A made a beeline for him. Not always a good sign when the teacher is so eager to talk to a parent. Except that P was equally eager to share their conversation with me when he came home. The Junior classroom (AKA The Big Kids Room) uses cookies (pictures, not the real thing) as their currency for rewards. A set amount of cookies equals the opportunity to choose a toy from the reward box. SS decided to forgo the earning of cookies and went to retrieve a toy. According to Ms. A, SS understands the reward system well, so her stunt was doubly funny (to her, concerning to us). SS locked eyes with Ms. A while reaching for the coveted treat. When Ms. A reminded SS of the rules SS placed her hands on her hips and gave her the C (aka you are on my sh*t list look) scowl. We wonder if she added her "HUMPH!" for good measure.

Then at nap time SS was back testing boundaries. The teachers set up the cots, and the children are responsible for getting the blankets and whatever other napping paraphernalia to their cot. Probably still stewing over Ms. A's audacity to stop her from swiping a toy, SS refused to get her blanket and pillow. Again she was reminded of the rules. Well, since her petulancy did not pay off earlier, SS resorted to pull at the heartstrings and began to cry. Ms. A found all of this funny because of the five months our daughter spent fooling everyone into thinking that she was a mute and incapable of wrongdoing. SS is coming out of her shell and while still light years from showing her worst, she is making progress. We like Ms. A, because she is not fooled by SS's front stage persona. Hopefully SS coming out of her cocoon won't blow up on our faces.

Another way we have noticed that things are different at school is SS's clothing. Until now SS has arrived home pretty much the same way she left, squeaky clean. There was the occasional food residue on her face from lunch, but her clothes were clean. That puzzled us because they do arts and crafts, and there's outside play. Tuesday night P asked for a jacket for SS and I reminded him that her baby blue fleece was in the van. P said that it was dirty, no way could she wear it. I instinctively asked how could that be. P gave me a look and said "well, the kid does play outside you know." Yes my condescending spouse I KNOW that, remember me? I was until recently solely responsible for dropping off and picking up our daughter. But dude was right, that jacket needed a good washing. In contrast, the pink fleece she wore that night got a lot of use in the previous classroom and is clean.

Ms. A also reported that SS is talking more in her classroom. It does help that her new classmates speak. SS still has a cubby in the sophomore classroom. That is where her backpack with a change of clothes is stored. P told me that when they go in to retrieve the backpack the kids gather around SS to say goodbye. P cracked me up because he said it reminds him of the scene in Toy Story with the aliens being lifted by the claw. Now I have this image of the little people looking at our daughter saying "Ahhhh, SS has gone to a better place."

I started writing my paper at 3:00 p.m. (due at 6:00 p.m.) and I am ashamed to admit that I was done in half an hour. Writing is the only part I miss about my old job. Also received my quiz last night and got 100%. Not too bad from a brain that's been idle for three years. Then again the subject is not exactly rocket science.

We caught the last part of this demonstration on Tuesday. Those kids did some seriously awesome stunts. We love how SS was not only paying attention, but you can see her practicing her moves. She is not going to be allowed near a rope for the next few years.

I can't believe D is still willing to babysit SS after spending time with our terror.

Post #8 of Spring Fling, slow, steady progress.

Carseat woes.

2011-04-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

Now that SS is spending more time with P we are forced to share the van. Just before we began the new schedule we received a recall letter for SS's second carseat, the one in P's car. I never liked the damned thing and have been honest about it. Why in hades did I purchase it then? We ordered SS's Britax Online and darn it the thing was due to arrive a few days after we departed for China. We had also been promised a carseat as a welcome home Baby S gift. I did some research and the Alpha Omega Elite had the same safety rating as the Britax. The biggest complain I came across was how difficult it was to install. P can attest to the veracity of those complaints as he spent almost two hours trying to get the carseat installed the day before we departed for China.

We never gave the Plan B carseat that much thought. Since we thought SS had another Britax coming (HA!), we only had to get through the drive home from the airport, then SS would have proper carseats in each car. Life has a way of throwing plans off and upon our return we did procrastinate about installing SS's Britax. Let's see, new child, jet lag, new child, readjusting our lives, new child, velcro child, new child, sleep deprivation, new child... You get the idea. I still hated the Plan B carseat, it did not seem to be a good fit with SS, she was not as comfortable as she still is in her Britax. By September we had the Britax installed by two CHP officers who were experts in car seat installation and safety. SS sat on her new luxurious seat and never looked back. By then we realized the promised carseat would never materialize so we installed the Plan B carseat in P's car. Again not thinking much about it because SS would not spend much time in Baba's car.

Now back to the future and with our new schedule SS will spend as much time in Baba's car as she does in the van. The company will send a repair kit for the carseat and that is where P and I are butting heads. I DO NOT trust that carseat, could not care less how safe and effective the repair kit is touted to be. How is that different than SS using her high chair after the recall and repair kit? SS will never be at risk of being involved in a collision while in the high chair.

P thinks I am being wishy washy and I think that he is playing Russian roulette with our daughter's life. We have had several spirited discussions about this and I will not back down from my edict about not using the recalled carseat again. Since another Britax is not in our budget we will continue to share the van until we can purchase another safe carseat. I was going to ask P to buy the carseat as my Mother's Day gift even though he never spends that much on my Mother's Day gifts. He is not cheap, it's just that I never have a list of things I want. MD is kind of ruined by the time you get done worrying about what to get everyone else. Not a fan of that freaking Holiday that is supposed to be about me.

Life threw another monkey wrench our way as P's car needs a new clutch. Quite a pricey endeavor, we could purchase three carseats with the money we are forced to shell out for the clutch. But we need two cars, thus P's car is in the shop today and I have finally come to accept that SS is not getting another good carseat. I still will not back down from my stance about the recalled carseat. My daughter's life is way too precious, and if the way to keep her safe means further inconvenience then so be it. P needs to readjust his thinking, suck it up and get ready to share indefinitely. I have never demanded the best, the most expensive for SS. But when it comes to her safety I do not compromise.

Britax Marathon, SS's current carseat, but not in that ugly crocodile pattern.

Britax Decathlon, SS's next carseat, but not in this color.

Post #7 of Spring Fling. This one is early because we are due to meet P for lunch soon, then have to pick up his car, AND I have a paper due for my class tonight and have yet to begin. Last time I wrote my paper two hours before class and got a 100%. Praying for the same luck tonight.

Take back the night.

2011-04-12T23:30:00.000-07:00

This evening we attended our city's 16th annual Take Back the Night. It was important for us to have SS be a part of the march, because we want her to be aware as young as possible that NO ONE has the right to lay a hand on her. Likewise, she does not have the right to hurt anyone. Of course she is only four and like many kids she may use her hands to push, throw and shove. We stop her and remind her that hands are for caressing, applauding, coloring, drawing, making beautiful music; there are so many good things for our hands to do. The one thing hands should never be used for is for hurting. For SS it was a golden opportunity to ride on Mama's back (which made her Baba furious because I have no business carrying her *) and shout at the top of her lungs. The whole idea is to get her used to the message, to become aware and eventually to become involved.

They had a lot of booths and activities for kids, but we arrived around 6:30 p.m. when the kid friendly things were winding down. SS did have time to pose with her old friend Darth Vader and the Storm Troopers. This was not SS’s first encounter with these characters, the first time she was barely 21 months old. I did not take pictures then, because I expected her to freak out and kept my hands ready to shield my baby from life long trauma. SS was wearing the same pink jacket then that she was wearing today (last pic). Her Auntie C gives her clothing that really lasts.

Our friend D met us there and was cracking up about SS's lack of fear of Darth Vader and the Storm Troopers. D was there for SS's first trip to the pumpkin patch and witnessed how our girl freaked out when she saw normal pumpkins. D has been on deck to baby sit SS since we came home. We could not accept her kind offer initially because of our need to solidify the nuclear family concept with SS. Then the attachment issues made us put those plans on hold again. It looks like SS and D will have a play date soon.

P did not even attempt to take a picture of the crowd because I did not bring the good camera. Our purse camera is beneath P. I think it is so cool that SS is four years old and still loves her Ergo.

We never intended SS to remain for the survivor talk. She came in the room with us, and met some of my classmates and instructors. But we did not want her to be exposed to the raw emotions and reactions that we knew the survivors' journeys would elicit. When things began to get heavy P quietly exited with SS. For once we thought ahead and brought her Buzz quad. SS rode it for a while, then she and Baba went to visit with some of Baba's coworkers who were dining nearby.

* I do know that I should not be schlepping SS around at this time. However, it was very important to me to do the very short march carrying SS. There are some things a girl needs to do with her Mama.

Post #6 of 30.