One year ago we got The Call.

I posted about the legendary Call early that Monday morning. What I did not know at the time, was how in a week, one can go from the depths of depression and despair, to the most amazing, adrenalin fueled high. I had spoken to Y, our agency rep one week earlier. All I wanted to know was if they had confirmation that our LID was included in the referrals expected. Y told me that we were definitely in, which was quite a rush. She then informed me that while we would have a mid June referral at the latest, we would not travel until mid or late September. WHAT?????? W.T.F! I was devastated, thinking that I would see our daughter's face, but would have to wait so long to hold her. More damaging to me was thinking about our precious daughter without a Mama, a Baba and a JJ. Our precious daughter not having someone to hold her exclusively, to provide adequate nourishment, to kiss and hug her. I think it was the lowest moment during our wait. I called P at work and I could hardly talk, because I was sobbing, and I'm not sure how long it was before he understood what I was saying. P tried his best to calm me down, help me see the positive, but I was done, I was done being positive. I hate to admit it, but I wanted my daughter and I wanted her to come home ASAP.

Y called later in the day, with the news that we indeed had a referral. My first question to her was if it was a girl. Although a rarity when we began the process, more families are being surprised by a boy referral, even though they requested a girl. P and I strongly felt that it would not be OK for us to decline a boy referral. Why did I ask? Because I wanted to find out f I needed to pack all the girl things and go shopping for boy stuff. Y told me that it was indeed a girl and I busted out crying; I know, big freaking surprise.

Since it was almost 4:00 p.m. and Y had other families to call, we did not speak long. The agency's staff (all Chinese except Y) were doing their best to translate the referral information to English. We would not see SS's beautiful mug until the next day. Our agency does not use e-mail to communicate with clients. Heck, they do not even advertise, as they rely on word of mouth. I guess when you have helped K@thy B@tes and Meg Ry@n with their adoptions, you do not need to advertise. Y verified our F*d E.x account information and asked that someone be home to receive the packet. Waiting to travel until September was the last thing on my mind.

I called P right away and we both cried (yeah, again). I remember sitting on the stairs and just repeating, "I have a daughter, Oh my freaking G0d, I have a daughter." I do not recall when I told JJ, and sadly, neither does he, it was blur after he heard the news. I do recall calling Auntie C next. I hardly ever call C at work. In the almost year since we moved I had probably called her at work five times. Three calls were work related, one when I found out I had to wait to travel, and then to let her know she would soon see her niece. C is not a very emotional person, but she was giggling like a school girl and so happy for us. Thus began the roller coaster we have been riding non stop for a year. If we only knew what Y had in store for us the next day.