Thirty-six inches and twenty-nine pounds of pure treachery.

We woke up at the crack of dawn today and took SS to Makena Beach, where we allowed her to roam around naked. Why the nakedness when she brought 10 bathing suits? Because the island experience is not complete unless there is nakedness at least once. We were also hoping to even out her tan. SS was in sand heaven again and did not even notice the equally naked little boy her age. Told you it was the thing to do. We had barely enough time to make a Jamba Juice run and arrive at the airport late to pick up JJ. But we at least managed to remember to bring a smoothie for JJ as well.

JJ made it OK, although he did not sleep last night. I wish my kids did not inherit my lousy sleep habits. Now all is right with the world and SS is enjoying giving us the cold shoulder. We are sure Fergie is going to be happier than a swine in excrement, because SS will now concentrate all her efforts into terrorizing her brother. I seriously have no idea why P would even consider a little brother for SS after the way she has treated that poor cat. At least JJ has a chance of coming out of this week alive, not so sure a younger brother would survive a day being loved by SS.

Grandpa treated us to a yummy lunch at Cafe O'Lei Dunes Maui Lani Golf Course Restaurant in Kahului. JJ had a crab sandwich with Caesar salad, I had tempura Mahi Mahi, P had Parmesan crusted Mahi Mahi with basil cream sauce, served over rice with a side of farfalle, Grandpa had blackened Mahi Mahi over rice with a Caesar salad, and SS had a a crunchy fish fillet with rice. Since SS did so well during lunch, we decided to treat her to a shaved ice, but ended up with something even better.

We made a pit stop at the Mall to pick up a snorkeling set for JJ. When we arrived there SS screamed her head off when P tried to remove her from the carseat, "NOOOOOOOO, JJ does it." This led P to loudly snap back, "Well thanks, it's not like HE wipes your ass. I do that." We always manage to turn heads, and not in a positive way wherever we go. In the interest of fairness, I already had my loud mouth moment at the beach yesterday. Grandpa was shocked when I announced that I do not care for animals. He incredulously asked me, "You do not like animals? Who does not like animals?" I informed Grandpa, and sadly everyone around us that the only animals I like are my children. Oh do not judge me, they are mammals for Pete's sake. Since JJ is tired, we returned to Grandpa's to recharge our batteries.

Grandpa received a call from his friend R, an avid surfer that P and I met eight years ago. He graciously and perhaps foolishly has volunteered to teach us how to surf. Dude, the odds of me standing on a surf board are nonexistent. But it looks like since I cheated death last year, I am now eager to push my luck. Must stop having those fruity drinks, they do cloud judgment.

P and Grandpa are on their way to Costco. We are such great guests that we managed to break Grandpa's small fridge beyond repair. At least his main fridge is still operable. Then again, there are now four of us working in perfect klutzy unison. P needs to purchase a replacement. Wonder if Grandpa will be so eager to invite us again. This is why we prefer hotels, we are walking disasters. P was so right to insist on JJ being here. This would not had been as much fun without him. Now we only have one week left to create as much mayhem as possible.

Please feel free to help yourself to my meal sweetie.

SS blew a fuse when she found out that her meal came with fries. Our waitress was more than happy to substitute for rice. Probably because she did not want our shrieking daughter to drive business away. So what did our little whiner proceed to do? You got it, she went straight for my fries, and dipped them in tartar sauce. How's that for strange taste buds. Still, SS ate all of her crunchy fish fillet, heavily dipped in tartar sauce.

SS‘s new favorite treat.

It wasn't shaved iced, but SS loved her sorbet nonetheless. This place is a must if you find yourself in these parts.

This tiny sumo wrestler caught my eye (sorry about the flash) because it looks so much like SS. It also reminded me of another little girl, one of SS's Chinese sisters who resides in Florida. We wonder if Brenda would agree on the latter.

With hutzpah that would make Kim Jung Il green with envy, SS sternly directs me to "go this way Mama."

Since the littlest traitor has no use for us, we are going to move her sleeping arrangements next to JJ's bed. Let's see how she likes being snubbed. Looks like she isn't the only one in this family to hold a grudge, we are more than willing to stoop to the level of a three-year old.

I often forget that JJ owns a cat, he even kept custody of the thing when his ex departed.