Thursday, February 09, 2006

Here We Go . . .


This first post finds P and I on opposite coasts, as I am home in California, and he is in New York visiting relatives. Ironically, when our relationship began, I was living in Southern California, while P called Northern California home. Why am I not with P tonight? Because he is spending much needed individual time with his grandmother, MC. He is also spending time with his uncle J and his family, and his aunt V. He is coming home Sunday, and I find myself missing him something awful.

Last night, we spoke after P left his grandmother’s home. P’s grandfather passed away in December 2004, and we attended his funeral in Florida. It was the first time I met MC, J (his wonderful wife and children) and V. I never had the opportunity to meet his grandfather JC and I truly regret this. We only spent a few days in Florida, but I learned more about P in those days than in the nine years we had spent together. Like his grandfather, he is kind, sensitive, quiet, loyal, and loves to care for others. He also shares another trait with him, the inability to close drawers, cupboards and other assorted things that become a danger to the rest of us. Can’t blame the guy for genetics. P misses his grandfather very much and regretted not spending more time with his grandparents.

So, for Christmas (2005), I asked P for a very special present, the gift of his presence to his family. Initially P was not very sure about traveling, let alone going without me. Yes, we are in the process of adopting S, but this is as important. Then, we received the news that referrals are going to take longer than initially expected. While we were both devastated by the delay, it benefited us in other ways. For one, traveling to NY would not affect our adoption funding, and P decided to go. I am so proud that he decided to make the trip as it has already impacted our family in a very positive manner.

Yesterday, P spent the afternoon with his grandmother and they had dinner and talked for hours. P called me as he left her place and we continued that conversation once he arrived at his hotel. For those who need genetic clarification, my grandparents raised me, but to me, they ARE my parents, and our marriage license reflects that fact. My grandfather passed away when I was ten and my grandmother joined him six years later. While they were with me for such a short time, I was blessed with their undivided attention for those years. As we get closer to being united with our daughter, familial ties and unresolved issues become so important. Also, it turns out that P’s grandmother is incredibly excited by the addition to our family. This will be her first great-granddaughter and she cannot wait to meet S.

Why start a blog? We have been following adoption blogs and WebPages for quite a while. It’s been a truly educational experience for us about the process. But the best part is that so many people have shared their journey to China and their forever child with us, and we are grateful for the opportunity. While I doubt that anyone other than family and friends will ever read our musings and assorted rants, but just in case someone stumbles upon it, we hope that it helps that someone with their own journey. Also, we have relatives in so many states that this is an easy way to keep in touch. Here’s my blog address, drop by if you are interested in keeping up with the adoption and our incredibly boring lives.

I better start posting and learning how to navigate this medium, and hopefully I’ll have it down by next year.