Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Another one bites the dust.

Or in SS's case another $5, and once again it happened on our bed. SS was blissfully watching Modern Family reruns when she nonchalantly announced "my tooth came out." I am beginning to suspect SS takes after her Baba. P told me when he got his first Tooth Fairy pay out (don't remember the amount) he seriously considered using pliers to get more teeth out, and thus more money. So sweet a girl taking after her father's penchant for cash brought by a mystical creature. To be clear, I think their love of Tooth Fairy money is freaking adorable. And this one did not leave a gummy gum, so no trauma, and SS gets her money tomorrow morning. Only because unlike her I don't carry cash I pay with my debit card for everything Baba, SS's Mama is old school and does carry a small amount of cash.

I need to check but this may be SS's last baby bottom tooth.  And if it is we need to schedule an orthodontic consult regarding SS's non existent adult tooth in the middle. SS will need a transplant before she begins the inevitable braces journey. P like Dr. Lee thinks it won't be an issue until adolescence. However, they do not realize how self conscious SS really is because they focus on her I damn well know I'm a girl, but I love super heroes, and I will wear super hero costumes, play super hero games, wear super hero clothes, know everything about super heroes, be offended when people assume I am or like princess shit, tough girl personality. SS is incredibly self conscious, as evidenced by her decision to take off her glasses for her school picture. Plus a lot of other stuff I have to properly think through before hitting my husband with a blunt object to make him realize his eight year old daughter is already self conscious.

That being said it's completely understandable that P is avoiding the necessary tooth implant and braces (they are done in stages now, so SS could have her implant and bottom braces done). And I am certain it is not about the cost, which will be significant, given the mess that are our girl's teeth. I have no memory of losing baby teeth, but it seemed JJ's did not fall or come off as fast as SS's. It's about SS growing up and in a different way as most kids. SS was a preemie, small, slow to develop. I recall Nana saying SS had piano playing fingers when they first met. I really didn't get it, since SS was small for her age by US standards. Then Min astutely explained that while SS's hands were indeed small her fingers where long, thus piano playing fingers. Since Nana is Min's wife, and they gave SS a kitty keyboard I took Min's comment as spouse devotion. Guess what, the girl still has small hands, but her fingers are indeed long for her tiny hands. Although not in a freakish way, but an elegant way as Min described it at the time. And while Nana and Min could envision SS as a piano player, P and I were not ready to see her as anything more than our baby. An innocent, helpless baby that needed us, and how dare you think about her tiny fingers on piano keys. :)

SS is no longer a baby and P and I are dealing with the inevitable in different ways. We have posted about how we share the same values although our upbringings are so opposite. That has worked brilliantly co parenting JJ and SS. Here's the difference, we did not co parent JJ at this age. While we share the same values we do have different prisms and coping mechanisms. So here we are now, P thinking SS is not self conscious, and me, watching her be so self aware. 

The great thing is JJ taught us so much, and to whom we owe an apology. Me, it was me, the parenting mistakes were mine, are mine, and will be mine. Thus we will listen to SS and come to a decision that benefits her, not our preferences about what should be done.SS is growing up much faster than we ever envisioned. When she came home the plan was to bring a little brother home, and that is still what we pine for, but we must be realistic about how feasible it will be. Never thought we would be living this dream while grieving the loss of that dream. We should be grateful for SS and we ARE and will always be. Now we need to come to terms with our loss, our very real loss because we dreamed of him at the same time as we dreamed of SS. She would come home first, them him. He has clothes, toys, a name, and we know the furniture we want for his room, including decor and toys. He has clothes, toys and other things at home, just like SS. It does not seem right not to bring him home.  

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Waiting for the Pixar Play Parade

It's so funny that SS still has the Delta blanket she received during our red eye flight from LAX to Atlanta (then to PR) three years ago.

Finally, The Peanuts Movie.

SS has been impatiently waiting to go see The Peanuts Movie, known around here as The Snoopy Movie. She wanted to go on opening day, last Friday, but we had a small incident. As I have mentioned things around here are  a mess, emotionally speaking.  We are doing our best to insulate SS from the fallout, but kids are perceptive. 

So on Friday SS's class was brought to the gate really early. Now, SS is usually one of the last kids to exit, because she is slow, it's how she rolls. But by the time it was 1:55 I became concerned ( dismissal is 1:45 but they get out as early as 1:35) and asked one of the teachers if she had seen SS. No luck, but she wondered if SS went to the B&G Club van. 

I ran to the van and could see no kids there yet. I next checked the area where they make the kids sit down to wait for their lazy parents to pick them up like they are fast food fare. No SS, and by this time there were several teachers looking for SS. And I admit I was getting pretty antsy. One of her classmate's mother, who also works at the school told me they we're let out around 12:30  and SS was looking for me. Crud, I missed her by about three minutes. What the hell?

The mom apologized profusely and said she should have stayed with SS. But since we are always on time she did not worry. And then as almost all kids are gone, SS shows up behind me, what a relief, and I give her a big hug. Then SS begins to sob and can't get the words out. Turns out that she has never been dismissed so early, and well, the kid does not wear a watch. When she did not immediately see me she panicked, thinking I forgot to pick her up. She ran towards the office and I wasn't there, she then ran to the van and asked the driver if she had seen me. The driver told SS to return to the gate because she was not going on the van that day, the driver assured her I was picking her up.

We just missed each other and the many kids milling around made it difficult to find each other.  SS was a mess, and I just held her for a long time, just letting her cry it out, while reminding her P and I will never abandon her. A few of the teachers came by, as well as her classmate's mother to reassure SS I would never forget her. They also asked SS to go to them and let them know she is scared if she ever does not see one of us again.  SS's first grade teacher Mrs. S heard about the incident and came out to reassure SS we would never leave her. SIGH

Just when we think SS is secure something like this happens and it is plain disheartening. I'm sure similar things happened with JJ, but he knew I'd be there, and was able to speak up and ask for assistance. Not SS, she is a raw nerve and the past year has been so rough on her, making her more insecure. All we can do is hold her, love her, and keep on reassuring her.

We did a lot of cuddling, allowed way too much Netflix watching on her iPad, and watched Back to the Future II and III on Sunday. I didn't think SS was going to like III because of the old western aspect. Much to our surprise she loved it, especially the train space machine. How can a train beat that amazing DeLorean is beyond me. Funky kid.

And now that SS is doing better (we pray and hope) we treated her to the Peanuts movie in 3D. Nostalgia is a wonderful thing, and it was so awesome to share something we enjoy so much with SS. Now we need to look in those still unpacked boxes for my extensive collection of Peanuts books. Some are really old, bought used, back when Snoopy looked nothing like the Snoopy she's always known.  We can't wait for her to read them, and hopefully laugh as much as we did so many years ago.

We then had dinner and SS had her first calzone, filled with pepperoni. SS loves ricotta cheese, so she was in cheese and pepperoni heaven. As usual, SS doesn't eat from the children's menu. Darn P and getting her used to order whatever she wants (as long as she eats it).

SS managed to eat half of her calzone, not bad for such a little one.