Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Back to the cubicle life.

There's a very good reason why SS is going to camp, and we have not done very much this month.  I returned to work six days before SS completed kindergarten. Unlike my previous job as a social worker, my new job classification has no leeway. Translation, I could not defer my starting date, because I am in a class of 95 students. Either show up for training or don't accept the job. Nice reality check early in the process. Summer camp did not start until the day after school ended. Between his Monday and Tuesday off, along with a few vacation days, P was able to fill in that gap. We did not think it would have been wise to have SS under someone's care for a week, then have another big change when she started camp.

Once I graduate in August I will be working 1.4 miles from our house. My husband is not to be outdone, so he is constantly reminding me that he drives 1.5 to work. Oh the hardship he must endure to place food on the table and a roof over our heads.  Things are going well given that all three of us are experiencing growing pains. SS goes to summer camp not just to have fun, but because her Mama is no longer available full time.  I am dealing with being away from my child, and feeling like a rotten mother. P has had lunch at home since SS came home, but now comes home to eat alone.  A big transition for all involved. By the time we get our routine down SS will be returning to school, and we will devise and adjust to a complete new routine.

Our biggest struggle is just finding time. The little things we took for granted are becoming a huge pain in the rear end now.  Barely a few days after I began work P told me he had no idea how much I did. I initially though he was being facetious but the man was serious. On the surface being a SAHM looks like the easy life. It can be, unless you take the mothering thing seriously. Spending that much time with a child (can't fathom more than one) is enough to make a person suicidal. Add school, homework, tutoring, karate, soccer and just life, and it gets hectic.  P is voluntarily taking the brunt of parental duties for the summer (or until he becomes suicidal). Even though it's out of my way I offered to drop SS off a few days, but P said no thanks. He misses his baby and maybe they both need this time to be just the two of them.

I posted about how P had to work on Father's Day, and how it led to us canceling a dinner invitation. He was out by six that evening, and I had spent the day in serious pain from a medical issue that could not be resolved before I started work. Neither one of us had any business behind the wheel that evening.  Then P and SS had received an invitation from P's mother to spend the day at Knott's with his mother, Grand Min, Aunt C and family.  It was P's day off and he ended up spending it in style. How did P spend his only "day off?" Our cars needed to be serviced and both vehicles became divas. The van's front lights were out, and changing the bulbs did not work.  After a few hours at the shop a part was ordered and P needed to wait until his next "day off" to take the van in for service.  I'm now driving P's car and it was having some issues depending on when we tried to start the car. More for him to do. P woke up on his "day off" around 4:30 a.m., his usual.  We spent time together before it was time for me to leave, he had quality time with SS and ran some errands.  P took SS to tutoring, then off to the repair shop.  He made it back in time to feed SS, get her into her bathing suit and high tail it to swimming class.  I don't know about you, but that does not sound like a pleasant "day off." I would have gladly taken the van for repairs Saturday, but they were not open. And there's still the car to get ready.

And that has been our last month, wash, rinse and repeat. On Mondays I am at my future office and get the pleasure to have lunch with my babies. I also get to make it to SS's swimming class.  P gets major kudos for coming home tired from work, only to hop in the van for some after school activity. He never missed a practice, so the least I can do is show up when I'm in town. By the time we get home from swimming it's six in the evening, time for dinner, cuddle time and showers.   SS has a very early start and she is a beast in the mornings, so we try our best to get her in bed early. And before we know it our time with SS is gone. Just like that.  By that time P's day has caught up with him and he usually goes to bed when SS does, if not earlier. Later on that same week we had to pass on a get together with Aunt C and family. The truth is that June sucked big time, it was the worse possible month for anyone other than SS to want to see us, or just see P and SS. 

SS is not fond of her wake up time and always find a a way to let us know how much therapy she is going to need in the future due to our callous behavior.  We are not thrilled that she is spending long days at camp, but such is life. At least she gets to stay home with P six days a month, just the two of them.  Shortly after I graduate I will be working 7:30 - 5:30 (8-5 now), and every other Friday off.  Once SS returns to school she will have eight days a month when one of us can take her, drop her off, and spend quality time.

Where it gets difficult is with our family time. P will continue to work Saturdays, and I will be working Monday through Friday. SS and I will have our girls day on Saturdays, but the only day we will spend as a family is Sunday.  That royally sucks, especially during the summer, but we will adapt.  Another up side to getting SS in bed early is that we get some much needed alone time, and we have made a routine of watching the previous day Daily Show and Colbert Report. Not only do we get to unwind with some serious laughter, but we get our cuddle time without a very adept intruder making sure we do not touch each other.

Before P received the call on Saturday night to come in on Sunday, we were chilling in the back yard talking about our new adventure. P sincerely told me that he felt the transition was going very well. We then talked about how this was supposed to happen.  The initial plan was for me to work 36 miles from home, we then laughed our butts off at how naive that was on our part. P owned up to it, "Oops, I really didn't think that one out." Neither did I P, I'm glad it is not happening. We both also admitted that it was going well (as in SS did not cry all day, have night terrors, or wet her pants at camp due to stress) due to one reason, we are only looking after one child.  P is very frugal with his days off, and it always pays off. We did not have to scramble to get SS daycare for a week, Even if I was not working, SS would have attended camp, just part time. We were prepared for that expense and just had to add more to her summer camp bill.  It still takes both of us to get SS out the door in the mornings.  We have talked a lot about how we would not want to do this with one more child at home.  For us, right now, this is working, we are actually enjoying this crazy ride, and adding another child would just result in chaos. Granted we are not strangers to chaos, but at least it is organized chaos. Maybe July will be easier and we will be able to do a few things on Sundays. Needless to say I had not posted because I just didn't have it in me. Maybe I'll do better now...

My new messenger bag or satchel.  This is the first time that P got me a non leather bag for work. I am ashamed to admit that I am as bad as SS is at taking care of the cool things he's bought me for work over the years.  There are a quite a few leather bags, brief cases and backpacks in our garage.  This time he bought smart, chose Lands End once he realized they will replace the bag once I do what it is inevitable I will do. That was very sweet of my guy.

SS on her first week in swimming, she graduated level one and has moved on to level two. After taking the summer off from swimming last year due to her injury and Dragon Boat, SS became afraid of swimming. That is simply unacceptable and it is why she is taking lessons. She has come a long way in a month, and just yesterday was jumping in the deep end (into her instructor's arms). SS also retrieved an underwater ring. She will be back to her fish self by the end of classes.

SS and Baba came to my training site to take me out to lunch. SS is sitting at a restaurant where her brother and I sat almost thirty years ago, Same building, different type of food, but still all good.

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