Six years ago the world became a better place.

Because on that day a beautiful little girl was born somewhere in China.We do not know where, we do not know the time. We do know that on SS's birthday our dossier had been logged in China for fourteen months and nine days.  Not that we were keeping track or anything.  We were eagerly awaiting our little girl, our precious baby. SS did not know that her time in China was going to be short lived, one week shy of sixteen months in a SWI, then thirteen days running all over two cities. Our baby had no way of knowing that her forever home was a fourteen hour flight, plus five hour drive away. SS did not know that she was connected to a forever Mama and Baba.

On that day we were ignorant of the blessing we had just received.  We had no idea our little girl was born. We did not know how after her first breaths, she struggled to survive. We did not know that we had a beautiful, kind, intelligent, future super hero loving, future music enthusiast, future funny as hell daughter. Hard to believe but we never got past the wanting a daughter stage. It seemed greedy to make a list of qualities we wanted on a child. We knew how fortunate we were to have the privilege to bring a child home. We did not want to mess things up by asking for more.

The three of us did not know that months later someone would make the decision to choose SS for international adoption. That months after that a clerk at the China Center for Adoptions Affairs would look at our file, our pictures, SS's file and picture, and decide we would be a forever family. We did not know what joy laid ahead for us as parents.  We did not know the emotional toll that bringing SS home would take on our girl.

It's very difficult to believe our baby is six, because we are certain we brought SS home just a while ago.  The past two weeks have made us even more proud of our SS. While still reeling from her tooth knocking collision, we made the blunder of getting her into another traumatic experience. Yet she remains as loving as ever.

Happy sixth birthday SS, you are no longer our baby, no longer our toddler.  You are now a big girl. We are looking forward to the many changes you'll experience with each passing birthday. But no matter how many birthdays go by, you will always be our ladybug dress clad baby. 

I'm going home to the place where I belong...

Dear God, please lower your expectations.

Saw this a while ago, author unknown. Amen.

God gives us only what we can handle. Apparently God thinks I'm a bad-ass.

First time together in thirty years.

Titi K, Titi G, SS and me.

Five days on an island, and this is her first contact with water.

Now this is an avocado.

SS at Titi G's house.

Arroz con gandules, pollo y pastel.

We were SO hungry upon arriving at the house.

The SS has landed again.

I managed to stay away from the island for more than 25 years. Then SS comes home and I find myself here again. It's hot like hades and freakishly humid. I sweated a couple of buckets installing the carseat, while being coached on the phone by P. I am ashamed to admit this was my first time installing this carseat. It's why I travel with P. SS slept just before take off in Atlanta. We went through some nasty turbulence, making me hold on to the barf bag. SS slept through the whole thing. My stomach is still queasy. SS slept for almost two hours. I can't wait for bedtime.

Still going strong.

How can SS not be tired?

So much for taking the red eye.

SS did not sleep a wink on the flight from LA to Atlanta. Thankfully she remains a great traveler, although this time she is hating the CARES. The device did its job, kept her firmly on her
seat. This prevented SS from reaching the tray to work on a puzzle. Other than that complaint she's been an angel. Even though we hustled from gate A to E, only to have the flight change back to A. SS loved a second ride on the train. I also misplaced our boarding passes and had to get replacements. Can't wait to get some sleep.

Preboarding rocks.

Especially when it is our first time traveling without Baba. It might also be the last trip for SS using the CARES device. Miss you already P.

SS returns to the scene of the accident.

We signed an independent study contract in order to get school work for SS for the week she will miss. Her Spring break is the last week in March, but the air fare prices were so good next week that we decided to move up our visit. SS can't escape homework even when on vacation. I needed to pick up the packet today, but SS made it clear that she had no intention of setting foot in school. I also knew that it was important for her classmates to see that SS was OK. A lot of them witnessed the incident, and I heard from a lot of moms how their kids were worried about SS. For SS to be gone an extra week would get their minds in overdrive, and I wanted to be fair and show them all was relatively well.

But how to convince SS to go back, without further traumatizing her? I suggested that she could wear one of her costumes if that made her feel better. SS chose her new favorite, Batman, and it did the trick. It's amazing to see the change in her personality when she dons her costumes. I knew her classmates would be happy to see her, but I was not prepared for the love fest that ensued. The kids were amazingly sweet, and it turned out to be a very good visit for SS.  Some had written letters, cards, and someone gave her a beautiful butterfly.  Her best bud E gave her a Batman book. The children know they won't be seeing SS next week, but only because she is going to visit her grandparents who live far away.  They know SS will be back in time to celebrate her sixth birthday with them.

It was also the last time SS and K would see each other in a long time. K's father accepted a great job offer in Colorado Springs, and they are moving next week.  Pretty much what happened to us around this time last year. It's a great opportunity for them, although it involves uprooting their children with barely a month's notice.  K is having the most difficult time with the move. We plan to have the kids Skype and write to each other. Lots of changes...

This afternoon SS received a get well letter from B.  He is the boy hanging on for dear life to SS in the first picture (gray shirt, denim shorts). B is such a sweet, sensitive boy and took SS's injury the hardest. B is about SS's size, we think SS is a tad taller. So it was so sweet to read that he asked SS to please come back to school and that he would protect her. Awwwwwww, that was just too cute. It feels good to know that SS is liked by her classmates.  Then again maybe at that age they just like everyone.

B is super hero crazy too and sent SS a Batman and Avengers stickers.

One thing I learned today at that playground is that we will never allow SS to join a child/teen band, or do anything that will even have the slightest remote possibility of making her well known.

On the mend.

SS as usual has been a brave little girl, and is on the mend. Yesterday I received a phone call from the school principal. The other child involved in the collision is a good fifty pounds heavier than SS and was running as they both rounded a corner. SS was not running, something that her teacher said on her voice mail, although she did not witness the incident. SS bounced off the kid and fell face first onto the concrete floor. That most certainly accounts for the extent of the damage. SS's dentist could not understand how colliding into another child could cause so much trauma.  That is, unless the other child rammed into SS's face wearing a football helmet. SS's teacher found her on the floor, face down and bloodied. SS stayed home today as well because right now she is terrified of returning to school.I received a text from one of the moms letting me know that the principal kept her word and talked to SS's class today. While reinforcing the dangers of running on campus, she made it clear that SS was not running, and this accident was not her fault. SS is afraid of being in trouble, and we wonder what her teacher must have said to her.

Of course there is never a good time to have your child's face rearranged, but this is really lousy timing. We are flying Sunday night to Puerto Rico, and I'm concerned that SS will be in so much discomfort.  It doesn't help that this will be my first trip alone with SS, no P to help pick up the slack. The Motrin is helping, as is all the TLC we are showering upon our brave warrior. SS won't be able to eat solids for a few more days, nor use a straw. Last Sunday Nana was suggesting milkshakes with ice cream and instant breakfast mix to put more meat on SS's bones. Little did we know we would be doing it as forced sustenance. We will also get her Pediasure to get as much nutrition into her soft, cold diet.

Her top front tooth is now sticking forward and will fall soon. SS might get a Tooth Fairy visit in Puerto Rico. The other tooth was pushed inside her gums.

The Tooth Fairy increased her rate since SS lost her tooth in such a violent manner.

SS was really hungry by dinner time yesterday. She polished a can of cold alphabet noodle soup, then had more cold noodles.

Breakfast this morning. Milkshake with whole milk, instant breakfast, and Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. Just trying to get calories in that tiny body.

SS drank her milkshake quickly and appreciated the soft brownie chunks.

Now on to our usually bare walls. A few weeks ago I told P that I would look for one or two posters in Puerto Rico to have something on the walls. Then I thought about all the pictures we have taken over the years, and while looking for something else Online, I found that Costco makes collages for a very reasonable price. It took just minutes to put them together and they were ready in a few hours. Four frames later we had some adornment on our walls, to go along with our dragon fan. It was a witch to get a decent picture of the collages, but you get the idea.

A little something we picked up in Chinatown.

The downside to the collages is that one can't choose the exact placement of the pictures, just take chances shuffling them around. After more than a dozen tries I had to give up on getting what I wanted and just went with what looked best. Once P saw the China collage his reaction reminded me why I probably waited so long to put the pictures together. Although we are elated in each and every picture, SS has that deer caught between headlights look. A sad reminder of how tumultuous that time was for our baby.

I was surprised to see how much SS remembers from our Chicago trip. Technically it should have been our Iowa for her first wedding trip. But even though we only spent two days in Chicago, those are the memories SS still talks about. The Bean, the interactive fountains, and even the Chinese sculptures exhibition. Probably the most significant trip from SS's point of view.

I might have to redo this one and the Maui collage, but it will do for now. SS was such a baby back then.

When we talked to SS about her Maui trip we taught her to pretend to snap her fingers and say "It's Maui baby!" She looked and sounded so cute and it became our trip motto. We can't wait to return to lounge around the beaches, and eat awesome seafood. And visit, yeah, of course, and visit.

A drastic way to summon the Tooth Fairy.

Ever since that first tooth fell off almost one year ago (April), SS has eagerly awaited another visit from the Tooth Fairy. As she nears her sixth birthday, it has become a daily obsession, checking her teeth for any signs of looseness.I joked that I was afraid SS would resort to something drastic, and darn drastic we got this morning. I received a call from the school nurse (those never end well) stating that SS collided with another child during recess, she was OK, but had a nosebleed that was stopped by then, and a swollen lip. Not bad for a collision with a child with more mass and momentum.  The nurse stated that SS was very emotional and it would be best if I brought her home.

As soon as I saw SS I knew there was more to the incident. The nurse asked me if SS was missing any teeth. Just her bottom tooth. The nurse asked me if I was sure. Uh, yes I am, she is my kid and she only had one missing tooth this morning. SS was in too much pain to open her mouth but when they said she had a gap on her upper gums I knew at least one tooth was gone. Once SS allowed at quick peek at home, we were able to confirm the missing tooth, plus two very loose from their socket. I quickly made an appointment with SS's dentist to make sure all was OK.

The dentist wishes one of the other teeth was knocked out too. They are at an awkward angle, but after examining the amount of trauma to SS's face, she could not justify removing the tooth. The dentist estimates two weeks before full recovery. Our poor baby left a tooth somewhere in the playground when she collided with a third grader. Why in heavens are third graders and kinder kids sharing a playground? I only found out that our daughter was rammed by a much bigger train courtesy of her classmates. The school did not say a thing. What else? Busted lip, busted gums, bloody nose, and a nice shiner to be on her right cheek.  SS certainly made her first trip to the nurse's office count.

 

The upside to all the trauma, a diet of soft, cold foods.

The Dark SS Rises.

SS had her heart and mind set on a Batman costume for Halloween 2011, and it had to be The Dark Knight Rises costume. The original blue, yellow and black was "for babies." We could not find one in SS's size, and P managed to talk her into wearing the Batgirl costume, as long as we never uttered the word girl; it was a Batman costume. Today was Super Hero Day at school, and the perfect opportunity to make it up to our girl. I found a size 4-6 that fit SS perfectly, it was such a joy to watch SS smile, ooh, ahhh, and just show her excitement. By now her classmates know what to expect from SS, and they all gushed and gave her plenty of compliments. Mrs. O asked for a picture right away, and our dark knight obliged. I was surprised that not too many kids dressed up, but it is a consequence of the lack of communication. We received a flier about four months ago with the dress up dates for this semester. I do not trust my fried brain, and immediately add the dates to my phone calendar, and schedule reminders. It is the only reason why I remembered.

I spent the morning with SS's class and had a great time watching SS get into super hero mode. Mrs. VP asked me to correct one of the benchmark tests, writing the numbers from 0-60. I felt better when I realized how many kids write their numbers backwards, and more often than SS. I could not find SS's test, Mrs. VP could not recall if SS was absent, and proceeded to pull SS from the class to get it done. I thought SS was going to crash and burn, because she can't perform when put on the spot. SS did not reverse any numbers. a first. She got 100%, and there were not many of those.

Today the kids were allowed to play from noon until dismissal, about twenty five minutes, and they made the most of the extra time. SS had a great day, it was completely worth being in the middle of the madness.

E's mama made her cat woman costume and it was an expensive one. Her sewing machine broke and she bought a replacement just for this costume. I think it would have been cheaper to overnight a costume from anywhere in the U.S.

The very few  kids who dressed up today at school.

Super hero poses.

Mrs. VP's class.

SS received the cutest valentine today.

This afternoon we received lovely thank you cards from the cousins, a drawing from B; and SS received the cutest valentine from her cousins. Thank you kids. 

From left, B(5), H(3) and Baby J (5 months). That's right, just five months, we were very impressed with her growth since we saw her in December.

Losing Mrs. O

Last week I received a voice mail then a frantic text from E's mom letting me know that Mrs. O, VP's teacher aide was leaving.  Our kids already have it difficult as it is, and losing Mrs. O is not going to help.  She is the voice of reason in the classroom, is very soft spoken, never heard her raise her voice like Mrs. VP does so often. But she has complete control of the classroom. What a concept, children responding to stern yet calm direction.  The kids will have substitute aides until a replacement is found.  Mrs. VP estimates that it will take her one month to train the new aide. Yikes, rough times ahead for our children. We certainly understand why Mrs. O needed to transfer to another school. She was a full time employee, and when the teachers decided the K program would be half days, her hours were cut, and she lost her benefits.  The woman needs to make a living, but we are really going to miss her, especially her calm demeanor.

SS and Mrs. O

Running around with K before class.

It was cooooooooold this morning, the kids huddled for warmth.

Walking her dog.

Chinatown

P woke me up around 6:15 yesterday, to let me know he was going to the lobby to get coffee. Why wake me up? Because I have a knack for waking up right after he leaves the room, and since usually disoriented in strange settings, a freak out ensues.  I asked P to bring me a cup, but he insisted that I return to sleep since I was up late as usual.  I protested but as soon as he left the room I reconsidered, and proceeded to get cozy under the blankets. P could not have been more than three feet from our room when SS woke up in grand fashion. She called out for me, jumped up on her bed, came to my bed, and actually started the morning exchange I have had with her since she came home. I groggily texted P that the beast was awake and that I would be needing a cup of strong coffee.

What were we thinking when we decided to medicate SS? She was only running a low grade fever, it is not like she was in danger of febrile seizures. SS was quiet, calm, non demanding, in short, not her loud and larger than life self. But no, we had to get in worried parent mode, medicate her to make it all better.  Ugh, will we ever learn? We decided to lounge in the room for a few hours, allowing SS to get another dose of medication before she had to face the outside world.   

We returned to Chinatown, watched a few performances and shopped. We entered an indoor mall and had a very pleasant flashback to a shopping trip in Guangzhou. Well, except that the mall in China was at least five stories high. But being there reminded us of walking all over that mall looking for Baby E*nstein DVDs for SS. Carrying SS on the Ergo, her little face facing me, having bonding time, and enjoying every second. Once snapped out of my reverie I could not help but marvel at how fast time has gone by since. My Ergo, Velcro baby now a big girl of 5, eagerly anticipating her sixth birthday.

This was our first time in LA since we moved, and we were very surprised it took us so long. When we lived here it was an at least once a month drive. Especially when we got a hankering for a Melo's Burgers malt at 10:30 p.m. We anticipate more trips to Chinatown, there's always more shopping to be done.  Our goal is that eventually SS won't view being among Chinese people as a treat, something that rarely happens.  We want events like the ones she experienced this weekend to become the norm for SS.  We owe her that much. 

In yet another mind blowing display of self restrain we headed home as soon as we were done shopping.  Although SS was feeling much better, she was not 100% herself.  She did not walk much Saturday, but yesterday we left her stroller in the van, and there was a lot of walking involved. We were shattered by the time we arrived home, ate, then shamelessly headed upstairs to lounge around, waiting for the premiere of The Amazing Race.  By nine we were all on our way to dreamland. We had a blast, and it was good to get away even if only for an overnight stay.  The best part is that P was home today and will be home tomorrow. I will get a whole three hours alone with my husband tomorrow.

Straw hat juggling.

Chinese YoYo demo.

We walked, we ate, we saw, we shopped, we went  home.

Knackered with her lion puppet, that she insists is a dragon.

What else to get in Chinatown but a Ninja sword.