Sunday, January 16, 2011

SS does not do goodbyes.

Last night SS stayed up late "playing" Rock Band with JJ and his roommate J. She was disappointed that JJ would not allow her to use the guitars but there is no way SS could get the hang of it. By the time we went upstairs P had been asleep for quite a while. I had some DVDs to watch because I knew I would not be sleeping. Just as I was getting ready to put my headphones on SS had the nastiest night terror she has had in quite a while. P can sleep through anything and this woke him up quickly.

It is awful to watch your child in so much distress. Thankfully unlike nightmares, we do not remember night terrors the next day. That is the easiest way to differentiate between the two. P and I just tried to do our best to comfort SS and allow the terror to play itself out. Wherever she was SS was running for dear life and her little legs told the story. She was sweaty by the end and so were we just watching her. So that is what we were doing at 3:00 a.m. We were rather disturbed when it was over and could not go back to sleep. When we went downstairs JJ was still awake but looked very tired so we sent him upstairs to sleep with SS, while P and I lounged downstairs. Our family has lousy luck with sleep, P is the only normal sleeper here. It has to be tough for him to deal with a wife and kids that have frequent nightmares and night terrors. When he tells me the things I have said in the middle of a NT I feel sorry for him.

My lack of sleep caught up with me early in the morning and I fell asleep when most people were waking up. Oh well... We did not leave until 3:00 p.m., hours later than planned. As good as we are at trashing a room, spreading our stuff everywhere, we are amazingly good at getting our things together and out the door in record time. SS asked last night to go home, but when it was time to say goodbye to JJ she was very upset. The goodbyes never get easier with her.

We dropped by Auntie C's house for a quick visit, as she was due for a Goddaughter fix. It's always easy to talk with her because although she does not have children she gets it. Among the things she gets is the complexities of raising a post institutionalized child. She never makes the ignorant comment that all SS needs is love, or that SS does not remember anything about her past, or that attachment issues are a myth. C respects the privacy of SS's story and is very pleased that we have chosen to protect that aspect of SS's life. She completely agrees that only when SS is old and mature enough, only she can make the decision of when and to whom to divulge. It is good for our souls to be understood, supported and respected.

JJ burned Toy Story for SS and she watched it three times on the drive home. By the third consecutive time one would think SS would realize that Buzz's arm would be repaired, that things end on a happy note. But no, SS dissolved in tears every single time. When we got home she threw a fit when poor P dared to turn off the DVD player. She watched the movie two more times for good measure. Not even JJ was that obsessed with his favorite movies. We are pretty tired, that drive is so freaking annoying with all the curves. No wonder we do not do it often. But we had a good weekend and more important, SS spent much needed time with her brother.

During the drive home P told me that the book SS was coloring was 17 years old.

SS and her Godmother.

Watching TS for the fourth consecutive time.

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