A long, productive, and painful day.

On Monday morning we awoke on our own power. P's internal clock had him out of bed early, I followed shortly. We had coffee, and planned our day while waiting for SS to wake up on her own terms. We started out with lunch, before setting out to get SS's immunizations. SS had her first California roll, and she liked it, had three, which is a good amount of food for someone with such a small stomach. While the sushi was good, the service was terrible. When asked what we wanted to drink P said we would all have water. The waitress brought only two glasses, SS protested immediately, and the waitress seemed to be surprised. Hello! She might be small, but she eats and drinks. If SS was not as hungry as she was, we would have walked out. We are definitely adding a Yelp review. But the good thing about living here is that there so many other places to try.

After SS had a full tummy it was time to suck it up and get her immunizations. Since we do not have a physician yet, we had to rely on Public Health. After the fiasco of dealing with PH in our former area, we were understandably worried. They would not provide the vaccinations she needed, they wanted to repeat ALL the ones she had prior to coming home. No way we were going to subject SS to unnecessary pain, because of their xenophobia.Our local PH office was out of the CP vaccine, but the receptionist gave us several other options, and suggested we call to make sure they had what we needed. The receptionist was very nice and helpful.

While we were waiting for SS to be called, she found two new friends in the waiting area. I turned around to do something, and when I looked back SS was playing with a Samoan boy and an Indian boy. SS had a game and she shared it with the boys. They looked so cute together, not aware of their differences, or of how beautiful they looked together. Eventually it was SS and the Samoan boy, who was SS's height, far outweigh her, and was only three years old. He had a Toy Story backpack, and that got SS's attention. His parents were surprised at SS's devotion for TS and super heroes in general.

SS needed several immunizations and we were given the option of doing it over two appointments. We decided to get them at once, because there is no way SS would ever set foot in there again. I held SS, and when she began to wail it just broke my heart. I'm sure it hurt, but SS's cries are much more plaintive since we moved. When it was over (including a TB test) I held my baby as close as possible, and I cried as well. But this is it for her until 2018. P offered SS her choice of a Leg0 toy, and off to T@rget we went. I wondered how much it was going to set us back, because some of the sets are expensive. SS zoned in on one I had not seen before, it's called Hero Factory. The parts are not regular Leg0 parts, but SS did not care. To her it looked like Bumble Bee from the Transformers, and that was good enough for her. We told SS that she would feel much better after a bath. She picked a T0y St0ry bubble bath. Obviously P was still traumatized, and threw in an Icee and popcorn. Despite the crying, SS was a real trooper, she is a very brave little girl.

A day of firsts.

SS had a day with many firsts. After enrolling SS in school we ran some errands, then rewarded SS with some well deserved fun. SS has been very slow to warm up to rides, and since P is about to order her first season pass, it was a good idea to determine if SS was ready for rides. SS did very well, and I will be posting about the many other things she did later. There were two firsts that really surprised us. SS really wanted to ride a go kart, and since she was only 1/4 inch below the minimum height for the kiddie go karts, we allowed her. SS had never been in a go kart before, and when she drives her ATV, she is not exactly a good driver.

SS looked so cute in the baby go kart, and of course she chose the green one (Green L@ntern), and it's a good thing she was the only one on the track. She did not drive for long, probably because she was expecting to drive faster, but is not there yet in terms of controlling the vehicle. P felt bad for her, so we moved on to the adult karts, and SS sat next to me. I am a bit of a speed demon, and just tore out at full speed. When I made the first sharp turn it dawned on me that it could be too much for SS. Great, more trauma for my baby. SS let out a loud "OH YEAH!!!!!" She had a blast, using her non operational (she had no clue) steering wheel, went into Lightning McQueen mode, and was very proud of "beating Baba."









Next we tried Lazer Tag, and I was very doubtful that SS would be able to handle the noise, the darkness, and the equipment. There are no child sized vests/guns, SS had to be able to carry more weight than I thought she could handle. But the allure of shooting a lazer gun turned out to be a great motivator. I really didn't think she could pull it off, and she left me stunned, and incredibly proud of her tenacity. SS and I played against Baba, and got our butts kicked. I was paying more attention to SS, looking for any signs that we would have to call it quits. By the end of the game P and I had worked out quite a sweat, and I was very glad to take the vest off. SS was as fresh as when the game began, was elated because she thought she won, and had the most amazing look and smile on her face. Once again we were lucky, because we were the only ones playing. We did not have to worry about others intimidating SS. Our baby is growing up so fast, and we look forward to many more firsts.

Officially enrolled in kindergarten.

Sunday brunch.

Sunday morning found SS and I tired, sleepy, and in need to remain in bed. P had made plans and that resulted in a very cranky SS, and equally cranky Mama being awakened way before we were ready. In my case, I had only slept close to an hour, and was in no shape to leave home. P insisted that we would only be at brunch for an hour, but we knew that was a bold face lie. Knowing that we needed SS on her best behavior, I gave her a choice between two outfits. That turned out to be a major blunder, but more on that later.

We met Nana and Grand Min at a country club for brunch, and for SS to receive her birthday gifts.I was concerned because I knew that since SS had a a feast day the day before, food was going to be the last thing on her mind. I also knew that on certain occasions, P is absolutely clueless about SS's needs and discomfort. At those times I have to be hyper vigilant, which is exhausting and frustrating. That is why when SS added her cape to her outfit I did not care. SS made her grand entrance to the stress fest, proudly wearing her cape. I'm pretty sure they have seen that before.

SS chose to open gifts before eating (big surprise), and was very excited about the register, bead set, and beautiful clothes. One thing that surprised us was that she did not ask to open the gifts and start playing there. We are grateful that for the most, SS is pretty reliable. As we were going to get our food, a woman asked me if SS was Wonder Woman, nope, she then asked me if she was Batgirl, nope again. Loved the look on her face when I said that SS was Super Guy. Love messing with the minds of normals, then walking away. The golf course reminded us of, and made us yearn for Maui. We had an amazing lunch sitting outside with the four of us plus grandpa.

One of the disadvantages about having such a petite child is that people treat SS as if she is much younger. Heck, we do at times, and have to self monitor. At five, SS is perfectly capable of feeding herself, and if for some reason she needs help with feeding, ONLY WE can be the ones doing the feeding. I do not have a problem letting people know this, but the onus should not be solely on me. SS has two parents, she is not the product of a single parent home. My solution is not to expose SS again to a situation where this will be an issue. Attachment is a process, and consistency is of utmost importance. On a good day I can be patient when people do not get it, but on not so good days I refuse to become an attachment educator. I do not mind a single thing I have done for SS, do not mind a single accommodation I have made for her benefit. Thus, I do not think it is asking too much to share the boundary setting burden. Because working on attachment is taxing, and that is someone in perfect health, and surrounded with people who understand, and even if they do not understand, respect those boundaries. A stay at home parent shouldering the majority of attachment work is a stressed the hell out parent under the best of circumstances.

But now on to the major blunder. Wanna know what one hour sleep, excruciating pain, stress and irritation can do? It kills whatever few neurons were firing. In the afternoon P made a store(s) run. I asked him to pick up some spring pajamas for SS. We had yet to dig out the ones that were somewhere in the garage. I was feeling lousy about putting SS to bed wearing a T-shirt and undies. P called me to inform me that we had taken our daughter out, in the daytime, at a country club no less, dressed in pajamas. HUH? WTF? I went upstairs to look at the tags I had sleepily removed that morning, and yep, dude was right. The fact that there were two bottoms should have been an obvious giveaway. I was freaking mortified, seriously upset. I do not fuss much about my appearance (yeah, I know I should), but my kids' is a different matter. Mr. Sunshine tried to make me feel better when he came home, P said "the girl walked in wearing a cape K, NO ONE was paying attention to the clothes of the little girl wearing a cape, and carrying a Green Lantern toy." SS, this is another "look how lame my parents were " moment to add to your therapy list.





SS is a super hero, Lego kind of girl, but she LOVES pretty clothes and Nana is very good at choosing pretty clothes. We know SS loved the sweater, because she immediately held it to her face. She loves to snuggle with pretty, soft things. That came across as kind of pervy.

Our pajama clad super hero striking another menacing pose.

There was one last gift waiting in the trunk of Nana's and Grand Min's car, and it was THE GIFT, as far as SS was concerned. SS has been on a sports kick lately, and has repeatedly requested a basketball... and a soccer ball, a baseball, a football... Name a sport with a ball and SS wants one. SS was SO excited when we arrived home and requested that we teach her how to dribble. SS had never attempted to dribble before, and did a good job, given that I was the dribbling instructor, and I can't dribble worth jack.

SS meets Aunt Michelle

SS woke up bright eyed, bushy tailed, and super excited because we would meet Aunt Michelle for lunch. I did promise that we would get together, and I like to keep my promises. I also thought it would be a good idea for SS to meet her emergency contact under stress free circumstances. It remains to be seen if after spending time with SS, Michelle still wants to be her emergency contact. Although we only live one hour from each other, the drive seemed longer. SS engaged in her version of are we there yet. She would point at houses, apartments and asked if that is where Michelle lived. SS pointed at buildings and asked if that is where Michelle worked. She pointed at malls and asked if that is where we would meet. She pointed at random cars and wanted to know if it was Michelle's car. When we stopped to pay our first toll, SS asked if Michelle was inside the booth. Dear God, our daughter can be exhausting at times. P is going to have to start carrying cash around or buy a fast pass. By the time we arrived at our last toll, I was out of cash. Good thing that I hoard quarters in my backpack.

SS and I had our first taste of Ch*ck-fil-A and liked it. It's so good to be back in civilization. The mall was a bit overwhelming, but we managed. Although this was our first face to face meeting, we have communicated for years. It was more of catching up with an old friend. We chatted, we went to C0stco, and a good time was had by all. Michelle gave me a great idea for our downstairs half bathroom. Half bathroom is not the correct description, that thing is more like a 1/8 bathroom. We must not have scared her that much, because she and Uncle Joe will be visiting us soon. We are also getting together in a couple of weeks for a picnic, and hopefully do something we have wanted to do for a while. Whenever Michelle posted about it in her blog, P and I really rued where we lived. We are hoping to join in the fun.

On the drive home I was reacquainted with something I had completely forgotten, California road rage. I was on a lane that was ending, and as I was about to merge, some world class jerk almost ran me off the road. Had that happened, we would have slid down a nice little cliff. SS was hysterical, it took me a while to calm her down. Between sobs she said "Mama we almost fell, the hill was close to my window." Well, she was closer than I, so she had a better view. The jerk had to be going over ninety, and I so wished I had been driving the moving truck to return the favor. He was driving a pick up truck with a business logo, but I only got a glance, and forget about getting a license plate number. I was royally teed off, but had to hold it together for SS. By the time I calmed down my baby, we were merging into an area where I have driven hundreds of times. There are a lot of lanes, but I have never had a problem there. That is when the enormity of what could have happened hit me. The fact that some nameless, faceless son of a b*tch could have hurt SS just overwhelmed me. I am still not sure how I managed to remain in control of the van, SS's great-grandparents were certainly looking after us. That led to a nasty panic attack, with a flood of tears threatening to fall. I called P, but did not mention what had happened, it helped calmed down both of us. I only hope that karma gets that a-hole, and that it gets him good. I know that is not very Christian of me, but I am Evil Incarnate and The Forces from Hell. I do unleash it when my kids are threatened in any way.

Other than that incident, we had a great day. Apparently meeting people increases SS's appetite. She had a bowl of spaghetti with sausage, moved on to eat more of her lunch leftovers, had a bunch of taquitos, and inhaled several sticks of go-gurt. P felt her tummy and it was quite impressive. OMG, we just heard some ruffling in the kitchen, SS is munching on Apple J@cks.We are pooped, and I can't wait to hit the sack, and enjoy the next three days with P at home. Michelle, thank you so much for meeting with us.

Let's hit the road.

I love the dollar store, the game in her hand, and two 50 piece puzzles (bundled together) were enough to keep SS busy. All for the price of $2.

Michelle came bearing gifts, while I forgot to give her the sour candy I brought for her.

SS made this and gave it to Michelle, along with her autograph. The funny thing is that SS has never drawn anything recognizable before.

Michelle gave me this beautiful angel that her father made.

We were wondering what exactly made the play structure handicapped/wheelchair accessible.

SS was delighted with her candy bracelet (and all the other gifts), something she had never had before. SS recalled that Michelle made her a personalized bracelet. The candy was gone by the time we arrived home.

Michelle could really pass as P's sister, it has to be the blue eyes.

SS took this picture and once again did a decent job. She later asked to take another one, and we obliged. Just before snapping the picture SS said "Say boob." OMG, that was certainly a new one. But apparently children raised by me are on the odder side of the scale. I better find a job soon, so I can blame my parenting short comings on someone else.

Last picture before heading home.

On our way.

Never thought I'd say that to SS.

We have been honest about the lack of diversity in SS's life. While this would had never been an area where I'd like to reside (like north or south of here), and this was for fourteen years a place where I drove by to get to desirable places, it is still better than where we lived. We were also aware that SS would had seen even less diversity if we moved back to where JJ still resides. We did consider that crazy idea, because I could request reinstatement with any Mer*t Systems County. But no way could we subject SS to live there. Moving was a financial no brainer, but I struggle and know will keep struggling with being here. Darn, why couldn't we have landed in The OC? Just kidding.

The closer that Kinder was, the more we thought about SS's future. Our baby was the only Asian child at her preschool, but it was a small preschool. I remembered having to hold back laughter when Ms. D proudly told me that the school had one Asian girl enrolled years ago. YIKES! But we thought that despite our limitations at least SS had diversity at home, where it matters. Since we decided to join the LA area Families with Children from China chapter, we have wondered how SS would react at seeing mainly Caucasian couples with Chinese children. We wondered, but did not spent much time thinking about it. When we stopped for lunch at Harris Ranch it was really good to feel not only the warm weather, but we were delighted to see so many different faces (color), and hearing different languages. SS did not seem to notice the difference, but she is a tad solipsistic (OK, a lot).

On our second our third day here P and SS were outside, and there were three kids playing outside. P has been working with SS on her independence, and encouraged her to go over (just feet away from P) and introduce herself. SS was very excited about "her new friends," which is good because she is really missing her school buddies. The kids are about SS's age, and have beautiful olive skin, just a shade darker than Sula's after a good summer of sun exposure. Sounds good right? There's a tiny problem, and one that I did not anticipate.

As it always the case with good embarrassing moments, SS was as loud as possible, and P was nowhere to be found. I know he was working, and I'm also know grateful for the opportunity to be a lazy bum spend time with my daughter; but would it kill the man to share these precious moments. The first time it happened was when we picked up SS's registration packet. Either the K or preschool kids were just out for the day when we exited our car. Suddenly SS was surrounded by beautiful faces, and went towards them with the same crazed wondrous look Richard Dreyfuss had when he saw the mountain and aliens (CEOTTK). SS squealed, opened her arms and ran towards the kids saying "my friends, Mama. my friends are here." Except those were not our neighbors, I know, I have almost ran them over a few times, and looked appropriately apologetic after.

SS would not hear it, those were her new friends and she was going to give them a good, old fashioned hug. There were two women with the first group, they spoke rapid fire Spanish (so fast I did not pick up everything but loca was in there) and ushered their kids to their car. My amazingly clueless daughter just continued on to the next set of "new friends." I just could not believe it, all I could do was mutter, "OMG she does think they all look alike!" I have heard that when people ask SS's ethnicity, and it fires me me up big time. And there we were, my daughter left me speechless.

It's happened again, and I keep using the broken record technique. A few days ago I needed a jump start while at Wallymart, called P and waited for him inside. Of course SS was instantly famished and it had nothing to do with the Green L@ntern toy in their kill a kid meals. Every worker behind the counter was Hispanic, as were three quarters of the customers. Yeah, it started again, and yes she got some very pointed looks. And I should have known better than correct SS there, because in a pleading (booming) voice she said "But they are BROWN Mama, they ARE my friends!" We should have gotten the hell out of dodge sooner. While sitting in Mickey D's cursing my husband's ability to avoid the hard parenting work I had an epiphany. Not all is lost, maybe the nice people around us, including the wonderful AA couple who choked on their food at the brown remark, maybe they would think that SS's father was brown. There, bloody brilliant if I may say so. Why did I even come up with that? Beats me, embarrassment must have that strong an effect on brain cells. But that silly thought made me feel better, pathetic, but true. Then fifteen minutes later SS stands on her seat (why I wish she was still using a high chair) and shouts "BABA, OVER HERE BABA!!!!" Wallymarts are loud, but she rose above the noise level. Busted, I could not longer pretend to be married to a beautiful brown man.
SS is beginning to understand that she can't walk over to every child she thinks is a friend. We are also working really hard on using her inside voice. Quite frankly, I am doing everything I can to avoid public places until we get her exuberance completely under control. SS and I do have a commitment tomorrow, and she has been looking forward to it for a long time.

All kidding aside about SS's faux pas, and believe me we have laughed a lot about it; it gave us a lot to think about. SS spent only four years in that mecca of diversity we lived in, and sadly it shows. It reminds me of a war of words that erupted in an adoption board about this very issue. Some parents felt strongly that they owed their Chinese child the benefit of living in a diverse area, even if it meant relocating, and making other sacrifices.. Then there were some who felt that their Chinese child would have Caucasian parents, so living in a predominantly Caucasian area should cause no harm. Even P admitted that it took a while for him to realize that while we ARE a family, different standards apply to us. Doors do not open at the same speed, but are slammed shut much faster. This is not imagined, sadly there are too many instances, the first when SS had not even been home for a month. Will everything be rosy and SS never encounter a slight because of where we are? Heck no, because when people assume you are intelligent and good at math is based on your ethnicity, well that also sucks. I just never thought I would have to address this with my children, I thought somehow it would be gained through osmosis, or DNA. Just have to be more aware about what's going on on that little girl's head, or we'll fall behind.

Things on the home front are slowwwwwwwwwwww. I managed to upset P because I moved SS's bed parts, our mirror, and some of our bed parts upstairs.Oh, and the box springs for our bed. I just wanted to help, and I was very careful. That is why I did it while he was at work, and to avoid his wrath. We gained an extra room and doubled our garage space, but we lost a lot of storage space. Our kitchen is larger, we have more counter space, but the storage is just plain weird, not only different, but weird. Is like whoever designed it never thought about storing specific items. What is worse is that I'm no domestic goddess, I used to solve rather complex math problems without writing the steps. It was obvious and all in my head. How I wish it was that easy with getting everything in its place. It does not help that not only are we injured, but after swearing we will spend X amount of time digging boxes out, we end up spending that time hanging around with SS. We think she's catching on and is about to start avoiding us.P has been a rock star, but it is so obvious that he is barely getting by.

A few phone pics of SS playing a few days ago. As I was listened to SS mapping out a golf career, I could not help but chuckle. It could be worse, she could set her sights on water polo or polo. She is really missing her brother and friends. When she asks her daily where's Baba, I now get tears when I respond he is at work. We just need to get her brother here for a visit.

She missed her shot.

And pulled a Tiger. Heh

Bunny picture!

We are really taking seriously our pledge to do nothing today, bums that we are. P found SS's sprinkler flower, and before I knew it SS was running around the backyard buck naked. At least the fence is high, and she was just enjoying her au naturale freedom. SS gets that from her Baba. :) I did manage to work on SS's enrollment packet, something that I was avoiding, because I did not want to fill out the emergency notification form. Knowing that JJ is over seven hundred miles away really messed with my mind. He is still on the card, but now he is her number two contact, with Michelle taking on the role of the designated person to pick up SS from school in case of an emergency. However, since P works so close to home and I will be here, we are hoping that phone call is never made. Then again after the ER scare nothing is certain.

P is enjoying three days off before starting work without training or orientations. He knew his schedule was going to be quite the change, but they were vague about the exact schedule. P knew he would be working nine hour days, with thirty minutes for lunch. Then twice a month he would work an eight hour day and have a three day weekend. On his first day he was informed that he would be working Tuesday through Saturday. Then his long weekends would consist of Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Not too bad, since it gives us the opportunity to run errands together, and getting out and about.

P received a thick binder with employment information on his first day of work. I was impressed, because although I worked for the county (hundreds of employees), I never received such detailed information. One of the first things that caught P's eye was the discounts available for local attractions. It's funny because as P was telling about it we encountered a little problem we did not have before. There was a commercial for Leg0l@nd, and we thought SS was going to have a stroke and pass out from sheer delight. We somehow always envisioned D*sneyland as her first Southern California attraction, but SS has other plans. Then they showed a St@r W@rs attraction, that was it, she was in tears, happy tears. I think Leg0l@nd is going to be her introduction to amusement parks. SS's reaction reminded me of JJ when we drove by M@gic M0untain, he was about to jump out of the truck's window. He was so excited that he could not get his 3D video out in time to film it. P intends to lure him with season passes. Then there's the Halloween Hunt in October, and JJ reassured us he'll be here to go with us. Wow, we sure have a serious case of arrested development. Oh well...

P and I were discussing that it's so neat we will get to see many of our Northern California friends. Aunt D's future in laws live in San Diego, and she (and fiance B) are visiting in July. We will be able to get together at least for dinner or an overnight visit. T and E and their three kids will be in the LA area in June to celebrate their wedding anniversary. They will stop by on their way to Arizona. P's former coworker M has an aunt that lives half an hour from us. He is also planning to visit in the near future. Then one of SS's teachers will be here this summer, and asked if she could call to schedule a get together. Grandpa is planning a July or August short visit. Then of course we must get a JJ fix. Darn, we should have moved earlier.

I finally got the printer/scanner out of the box, and the time I spent setting it up for use with the netbook paid off. I REALLY wanted to get the Easter Bunny picture before we left, but at a point you just give up, and that is what the coward in me did. Hard copy pics will be mailed sometime before SS enters middle school. Abuela, sorry about the Yok0 Ono hair, I should have done a better job, but we still think she looks stinking adorable.

2011

2010

2009

Happy Easter

We got in touch with our lazy selves, we slept in, just got up. Baba put a basket together after dinner last night. We are planning on doing absolutely nothing. P is still exhausted, and I tripped and managed to land on my left knee, on concrete. I was getting by, but that ninety minute wait did me in. SS is happily eating herself into a sugar coma. Life's good.

Ninety minutes later.

Longest wait ever to see an anorexic Easter Bunny. Oh yeah, we are definitely in Southern California. SS is now patiently coloring while waiting for her (and our) first meal today.