Friday, August 16, 2013

Oh well it had to happen sometime.

We always knew that at some point we would be challenged as to our parentage of SS. I think I have shared how it happened quite a bit with JJ, even being stopped at the border on the way back from Mexico because he did not look like me. When we traveled with SS for the first time we brought her passport just in case. But after flights to NY, PR and back home we relaxed. We have not taken anything with us since. Last summer when SS got her stitches the nurse asked me if I was her mother, I said yes, and that was the end of it. Well today that changed, and it was mighty embarrassing.  I guess my first Friday off will be a memorable one.

Just as I arrived at school SS was being herded towards where she waits for the Boys and Girls Club van. The teacher was doing this and I called out to SS, when a very nicely dressed woman I had never seen before stepped in between us and asked me who I was. Uh, her mother, duh.  She introduced herself as B, a representative from the B&GC. B explained that her job is to wait with the children until the van arrives, and that it was her understanding that SS was to be on the bus. She asked me for my ID, and I was not upset, I would be upset if they would allow my daughter to go with anyone. But then it got interesting. Mind you this is happening at dismissal in front of a crowd, because since there is no school busing lots of parents are there.

As I hand her my driver's license I say that she she needs to look at my middle name since I never use my first name, the club does not have it. B was dialing the club to ask if I was indeed approved to take my own child home. At this point M, the mom of one of SS's friends walks over to say hi, totally amused at my situation. B hands me back my license and proceeds to butcher my first name since she obviously did not listen to my warning.  Whomever answered at the club said no, that is not her mother, and that got B on the defensive. I calmly explained that she had to look at my middle name, and handed back my license.  By now the club person wants more than my name, wants a description. Funny because my name is rather unique, I'm not being pretentious, it really is. I have yet to come across someone with that name and I have looked. The club person remembered my very curly hair and asked B. It just gets better because my hair was pulled back in a pony tail.

Now people are really staring, and M can't stop smirking because this is a lot of fun for her. The woman needs to get out more. She said to B that I am indeed the mother, that I do have very curly hair, and that she's seen me numerous times with my child. What was SS doing? She had her head buried on my side, and was hanging on for dear life to my leg. B apologized for the inconvenience and we start to walk when the school principal notices, and using her bull horn says, "Wait, SS is supposed to go to the B&GC her father said so." Now B is looking suspiciously at me again, and I'm wondering how the hell did the principal, with whom I have had many conversations last year, forgot what I look like over the summer. B asks me if I have custody of SS. Really? Did you just ask me that? Come on where's the camera because I must be getting punked. Ever helpful M asks if P and I separated. No, we are still married, what the hell is wrong with people today. 

Now I'm getting pissy and a pissy me is a mouthy, dangerous me. I was concerned about SS, and was getting tired of being a freaking sideshow, by just picking up my daughter from school. I reeled it in and calmly explained that I was going to take my daughter home, and that they should check the schedule at the clubhouse to see what days we have paid for in advance.  B realized I had had it and apologized profusely.  She then went on to explain that it is about safety, and I get that. That was followed by some serious gushing about SS, how beautiful she is, and how everyone at the club is just in love with her beauty and her excellent behavior (my kid, really?). B then said that maybe they are a little more protective of her for those reasons. Wait, so if my daughter was ugly or a brat they would just hand her over to anyone? Yikes. I gave her my standard response that I had nothing to do with her looks. And this is the unexpected part, because I actually came home chuckling about the whole situation. B says, she obviously takes after your husband's looks, but you gave birth to her, that is the important part, that is having a lot to do with it. M piped in, "Oh yeah she totally takes after her father,"and laughing at the whole thing.

The thing is that SS does take after her father, because as I type this she is buck naked on the floor playing with her Legos.  P would live in a nudist community and even go to work naked if allowed.  SS likes to feel the cool tile against her skin, especially after spending time outside in 97 degree weather. Now that I'm indoors, enjoying the gift that is a cool house, I am less offended.  We always knew it would happen, I just wish it had not been this way, but that is precisely what we signed on for when we follow our hearts and brought SS home. By the time I was done texting P about my saga he had printed a calendar for the reminder of the month and September, with the days SS will be going to the club. He is going to take it to school Monday, to avoid more misunderstandings.  And I'm glad he is taking it, because he was there yesterday without any hassles. Apparently a Caucasian man is perfectly viable as the father of a Chinese girl, but a Hispanic woman? Come on, that's just crazy talk.
P took this one yesterday morning.

I reciprocated with this one this morning.

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