Lazy Saturday

Practicing her penguin walk.

First time trying out her lady bug bean bag,

Our lady bug.

About to the do the sign for sorry. Baby S got a time out after pulling Mama's hair.

I joined them shortly after taking this picture.

Yeah! Mama made my favorite comfort food, arroz (rice) con habichuelas (beans) y aguacate (avocado).

This is new, mmmmmm, yummy. You guys were holding back on me? I could have been inhaling platanos maduros fritos (fried plantains) for the past five months.

Yesterday we did not get squat done. Upon awakening, P informed me that we were taking a day to recuperate, just take it easy. So we played with the munchkin and bent over backwards trying to get her to eat. She had sausage and hash browns for breakfast, but refused her milk. She drank orange juice and Gatorade throughout the day.

Baby S is asking to spend time in her room and that is a good sign. Until now, she's spent most of her time in the living room, which has become her play area. This week, she's been doing the sign for up and when I hold her she keeps making the sign, then slowly it dawned on me that she wanted to go upstairs to her room. Who knew that patience would eventually pay off?

We skipped lunch and took a nap in the afternoon. We did not bother to place Baby S in her crib. P really missed cuddling up with her and I did not see the harm since she is sleeping on her own through the night.

Just before her nap Baby S earned a well deserved time out for pulling my hair. It was not an accident, she was pi$$ed that I would not allow her to dive from our very high bed and just pulled. So I simply placed her in her crib and walked away. Baby S did apologize after her time out.

Growing up in PR, rice and beans were a staple of daily life. Once I was on my own I tried to steer away from said staple and expand my horizons. I never thought that my children would be so into eating rice and beans. J has always loved the rice/beans/avocado combo as a comfort food. Much to my chagrin P also loves it and requests it frequently. If J and/or P need a pick me up that is all it takes food wise. I thought I was going to finally find an ally in Baby S, but she too is unable to resist the PR pull. Whatever....

P asked me to prepare rb&a yesterday for dinner, hoping that Baby S would eat. I remembered that I had a ripe plantain and since Baby S loves bananas, I decided to make them and see if she liked them. Other than French fries, we do not eat fried foods, so I did not feel too bad indulging Baby S. I wish I had made them sooner, because our girl inhaled half a plantain on her tiny own. Abuela is going to be busy cooking for her when she visits in March.

Baby S slept in her crib for the fourth time and we are anxiously waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. This is certainly not it, right? Is it because she is sick? Isn't she supposed to wake up multiple times requesting to be taken to bed with us? We thought this was supposed to be a long, drawn out process. No, we are not complaining, just kind of baffled.

Now we both have colds and P is getting there.

Mama, I'm not feeling well. Love those sad puppy eyes.

I've heard that drinking lots of orange juice helps you get rid of a cold.

It worked!

Relax people, he IS wearing undies. This is a nightly occurrence for us as Baby S takes over our king size bed by kicking us or head butting us into a small space. It totally cracks me up that P is already missing this.

Third night in her crib.

Baby S believes in spreading the wealth, and for her this comes in the form of a cold. By noon yesterday my throat was all scratchy and my nose stuffed. I am not surprised as we are attached at the hip and Baby S kisses me on the lips about a hundred times a day. Besides, it beats the cold/allergy/asthma combo I get every Christmas since moving to the Pacific Northwest. That I truly hate, so I am OK with the common cold, although P is right now praying that I get dengue fever instead. I do pain, fevers you name it without flinching. The common cold? It floors me and turns me into a beast. This is going to be a fun weekend.

Today, we met P for lunch but Baby S did not eat much as her throat is obviously bothering her. We are making sure to keep her hydrated and she did have her instant breakfast this morning. We had a few things to do and I must say that for a sick baby she did a great job of waiting without complaining once.

Baby S fell asleep on the way home and again surprised me by going back to sleep when I removed her from the carseat. I quickly took her upstairs to her crib. This is another area where we have seen slow but satisfactory progress. Until our trip to San Francisco, if Baby S was asleep when removed from her carseat, the nap was over. You have no idea how much gas (at those outrageous prices) I have gone through parked in front of the house (needed the AC during summer) for almost an hour, just to make sure that she got her beauty sleep.

Baby S also did not fall asleep like most children do, you know just conking out in the middle of whatever they are doing. No matter how tired, sleep is always a struggle that would take a minimum of 30 minutes to sometimes hours. Then the day of the SF trip she fell asleep on her carseat, and when we got home she surprised me by laying her head on my shoulder (another first as she is always hyper-vigilant) and returning to sleep. Not only that, but she remained asleep while I took her clothes off and got her ready for bed.

Back to yesterday. Baby S took a nap and when I heard her cry I went to check on her to find her awake in her crib. She did not reach out to me as usual and did not do the sign for up, even more unusual. I picked her up and sat on the gliding chair with her. I glided for a few minutes without protest and then I knew that she really was not feeling well. Baby S NEVER allows me to rock/glide with her (do not bring this up with P as it is a sore subject). Then I heard her snoring! I must admit that her snoring is beyond cute. She spent the next hour and a half napping while I held her.

I decided to keep her upstairs since it is warmer, and in her favorite place, our bed. Don't you love those sad puppy eyes in the first picture? Our poor Baby S was feeling miserable, but her independent streak was out in full force. Although she usually wants us to hold her sippy cup, she decided to buck convention and become all Miss Independent when sick. A little cold medicine, some orange juice and within 25 minutes she was doing the happy dance.

When P arrived home he was not only exhausted but felt that he might be coming down with a cold as well. We just chilled out in bed and played with a by then hyper Baby S. P was out by 8:00 p.m., even though Baby S did her best to kick him around hoping that he'd wake up and play with her.

Baby S was out by 9:30 p.m. and I transferred her to her crib. She woke me up at 1:45 a.m. yelling "JJ" (J). Baby S really misses her big brother and still makes me go over his pictures every day. We have been discussing that we are going to have to make arrangements to visit J more often because this is the most significant relationship she will ever have. Thankfully she did not wake up.

I checked on her at 3:20 a.m. and as I walked into her room she yelled "Mama." Again, she did not wake up, so I guess she just talks in her sleep. It's 4:30 a.m. and she is still peacefully asleep and has not coughed all night. Good, because we have lots to do today.

Baby S finally sleeps in her crib.

9:00 p.m last night. All tuckered out with Funky Dog and Snoopy blankie.

3:00 a.m.

6:00 a.m., showered and ready to roll.

I am the most impatient person in this world. So I am still astounded that I waited five months for Baby S to be ready to sleep in her crib. She did spend about four hours at night in September, when J was working on the desktop in the master bedroom and we did not want Baby S to wake up. Other than that, not even a nap in her crib.

Ever since we met Baby S, we have been working on establishing trust. Let's face it, to her we are responsible for turning her world upside down and taking her away from her nanny. As a result, we had to let go of many of the ideals we had regarding parenting. The biggest joke here is that P and I are rather laid back and middle of the road. Authoritarian parenting is useless and we are more on the authoritative side. However, when it comes to co-sleeping, we both felt strongly against the practice. For me it is simply an irrational fear of rolling over and suffocating a child. For P it is about keeping one, just one part of his life that is still his.

Years ago, we babysat the children of our friends. Our friends visited the east coast for a wedding and we spent two weekends at their home with their kids. My friends warned me that their youngest (2 at the time) would wake up in the middle of the night scared and would bolt for their bed. My friend knew how I felt about co-sleeping, but also informed me that if he awoke his sister, I would have two cranky kids up. Good times!

On our first night there, around 2:30 a.m., T2 awoke as predicted, scared and screaming. I bolted towards him and took him to the living room where we cuddled for a while until he fell asleep. I finally gave in to sleep and brought him to bed with us. I awoke a few hours later with a funky sensation on my back, but could not see what was going on. P was already awake and although my back was to him, he could tell when I came to. T2 was sleeping perpendicular between us, his head deeply buried on my back and his feet firmly planted on P's chest. We remained in that uncomfortable position for quite a while, waiting for T2 to move. We later looked at each other and said "When we have our baby, she will NEVER sleep with us, that is crazy stuff." Ah, famous last words.

T2 trusted that his parents would be there for him when he was afraid, and that is a trust that was built over two years. There is no way I could agree to be his caretaker for two weekends and then apply our rules to him. Totally unfair, as unfair as it is to expect Baby S to adapt to whatever expectations we had of parenthood when we just met and she had no reason to trust or love us.

For the past five months we have painstakingly worked on gaining Baby S's trust. This means that we have had to let a lot of things go. Things that would be a given if she were younger when we met or if she had been with us since birth. During the last month we have seen how those baby steps have equated to progress. Now, we do not measure progress like most parents do, because, well, we are not doing by the number parenting.

Allowing Baby S to spend hours in her crib crying was never an option for us. There are many aspects about her history that we have not discussed outside our nuclear family and we never will. All we know is that our approach is the best for her at this time and it will obviously change as her time with us increases and she learns that we are worthy of her trust.

Something as seemingly insignificant as Baby S playing with her back to us is a major accomplishment to us. In September, we went on a hike and I had Baby S on my back during the descent and P tackled the uphill trek. Baby S had to see me at all times and would become agitated when she could not see me. Then she would only play with me by her side and sometimes would only play while sitting on my lap. Would I have done that with J? No, not a chance, but it was the right thing for Baby S.

Yesterday afternoon we lowered the mattress on her crib to the lowest setting (the kid is a Houdini), allowed her to fall asleep on our bed as usual, then transferred her to her crib. She slept through the night, which would not have happened had we dumped her on her crib and walked away. P had the first full night of sleep in five months. While I was tired, I did not sleep much last night, because I was anxious about Baby S waking up, and me not responding fast enough. So I stayed up and waited. Upon awakening, P stated that while he really needed the sleep, "I really missed her you know. Having that little creature between us is just something good." Really good Baby, but it's time for our little wondrous creature to move on to her crib. We have no idea if this is going to happen tonight, but we will keep on trying. She already took a two hour nap in her crib today. We waited years to bring Baby S home, we can wait until she is ready to trust us.

Baby S is getting a cold and gosh darn it why couldn't it happen Wednesday when she had her Dr.'s appointment? The poor thing woke up from her nap barking like a seal.

Well baby check up.

Yesterday: Nap on the go.

Refreshed and ready for mischief.

Where's my Ugly Burger?

Today Baby S and I had mother-daughter doctor's appointments. The doctor was pleased with her development, even though P expected more of a weight gain. In September Baby S was 30" in length, weighed 19 pounds and her head circumference was 17". Today she is 30 3/4" long, weighs 19 pounds 14 ounces and her head circumference is 17 1/2 inches. Doctor Sheila was pleased because Baby S actually made it into the (US) growth chart this time. Baby S has a diaper rash that might be fungal and her dry patches my be eczema, but other than that the kid is solid.

When we were alone, P asked me is Baby S's cousin (8 months younger) is bigger than Baby S. We do not know Bell's stats but I told him that more than likely Bell is bigger and will always be bigger than Baby S. Bell was meticulously cared for in utero and her parents have continued that top notch care since her birth. We have no way of knowing about Baby S's pre-birth care, but we know that when we met her, she was receiving 3 eight-ounce bottles of formula a day and some congee (rice porridge). This is hardly adequate for a 15-month old and her development will forever reflect that deprivation.

We have always believed that the Chinese government is free to do as they wish with their children and we never felt a sense of entitlement (as in we DESERVE a child NOW). That being said, knowing that Baby S was selected for International Adoption early in her life, it truly upsets us that they made this precious child (and so many others in such dire need) wait so long to join a home where her needs would be met. It's not about us, but about the consequences to our daughter. At times like this it is difficult to hide the anger and the hurt that we feel over what she has endured. We also know that the staff at the SWI did the best they could with what they had and were probably as frustrated as we were.

On the positive side, my blood pressure was 100/80, the lowest that it has been in almost three years! My previous doctor and this doctor have really struggled to get it under control, and even though I was doing the right things it just did not budge, not even with medication. Ah, the Baby S effect, not only does she bring joy but she lowers BP. :) P was grinning from ear to ear when the nurse called out my BP, and that was icing on the cake. I know he worries about me a lot, taking time from work to be there for my appointments, so now he can relax.

We treated Baby S to an Ugly Burger and boy is that an apt description. The appeal of the UB joint is that they have a condiment bar and you can customize your burger. We were not very impressed. P makes the best burgers bar none. Baby S enjoyed her fries and all the attention she received from the staff (yawn).

No to Santa, Yes to Darth Vader and the Storm Troopers.

Baby it's cold outside!

I can't believe she did not rip her gear off the second we entered the store.

Shop til you drop.

Early Monday morning Baby S and I braved the crowds to go shopping. I dislike crowds and always feel uneasy among throngs of people, so this was a stretch for me. It totally goes against my love of amusement parks and my ease in China, but trust me, it's a real fear. It was about 34 degrees when we left the house and I was pleased when Baby S allowed me to bundle her up without a single complaint. She actually kissed the dragonfly jacket her Auntie C sent her (this is why we think that she views it as another stuffed animal).

Much to my dismay I could not get everything I needed at T@arget and that meant schlepping the kid to Wally Mart. The Salvation Army volunteers decided to spice things up and had Darth Vader and three Storm Troopers in front of the store. After the Santa fiasco I was a bit hesitant to expose Baby S to life size Star Wars figures. Baby S LOVED Halloween but her love was mainly for skeletons, monsters, ghosts and other disgusting creatures. She did see a Storm Trooper at the Mall and did not flinch, but that was before the Santa trauma.

I realized that I could not sidestep the SA people, so I just sighed and made a mental note to add more money to her therapy fund. As we were getting close to entrance, Baby S noticed them and went all gaga, like most kids go over Di$ney characters. She smiled, cooed, giggled, gushed, waved and blew kisses at them. One of the Storm Troopers walked over to us to say hi, while I just held my breath and wished he would just go back to ringing that stupid bell. Baby S smiled at him, did her nearby wave (opening and closing her hand) and said hi. The ST commented on her beauty and how great it was to see a kid without fear. I told him that he should have been at the Mall a few days earlier when she was traumatized by the sight of jolly old good Santa. The ST said, "Can't blame her, that guy is just creepy." Yes full grown adult, wearing a ST costume in front of Wally Mart and ringing a bell, Santa is the creepy one.

I should have set her up right there for pictures and use them for our Christmas cards.

Five Months

This is how I like Santa, lifeless and with a fence between us.

What do you mean hurry up? I will pick the tree that speaks to me.

Oh, no trees here? I really I thought I heard something.

That's the one guys.

BaBa, need help? I would love to climb on top of the van.

We would have liked to have a day of leisure to celebrate Family Day but that was not possible. We had to cram five days (3 days of Thanksgiving weekend that we lost plus this weekend) into two and it was not easy. We got almost everything done and that is quite a task with a very active and demanding 20-month old underfoot. Baby S chipped in and managed to take a 30-minute power nap while I was working downstairs with the music blaring and P was steam cleaning upstairs. Our apologies to whomever wrote the report that stated that Baby S is a sound sleeper. We have been making fun of that since we met her.

Baby S said her first English word, "duck," on August 13. Talk about a special birthday present for her Mama. Why Duck? Who knows. Now she can say duck, up, down, Mama, BaBa, go, backpack, map, dog, hi, bye-bye, nana (banana), yeah, mo (more), poop, ear, eye, tiger, good girl and BaBa vroom vroom (asking when P is going to arrive in his car).

She can do the signs (ASL) for more (got that one down in China), drink, up, down, poop, milk, cookie, no (totally our fault, ugh) help, please and sorry.

Baby S can point to her nose, mouth, tongue, ears, eyes, ombligo (navel) and cachetes (cheeks).

She does not whimper as much throughout the night but still sleeps perpendicular to us. This means that one of us gets her head buried into our side and the other gets kicked. At least she alternates who gets what.

Baby S does not eat as much as she did initially and is beginning to turn down certain foods. Her grandpa was concerned that she'd be morbidly obese by her second birthday, but we always knew that she would self-regulate. Now that she knows that food is always available, we are beginning to work on behavioral issues. Recently, she decided that one of her favorites, spaghetti with sausage, would not do that night. She wanted something else (can't recall what right now) and kept rejecting her food and crying. It was difficult to do, but we kept presenting her dinner. She eventually fell asleep and guess what appeared in the form of breakfast? She took two bites, and opted for the stubborn route. Much to her surprise that darn plate appeared at lunch time. She finally capitulated, but to be honest, I felt awful. However, I have seen too many kids living on only cereal, mac and cheese or pizza and do not want that for Baby S. P wants me to note that he did not feel bad at all about the food battle. How could he? I did all the dirty work for him; I was the one facing the sad puppy eyes, the pouting, the crying and the screaming.

She has the cutest nervous laugh when she gets excited. Whether it is getting her milk in the morning, being picked up by Mama or BaBa or when she realizes that one of us has keys in our hands. It is the cutest thing.

Baby S loves to give and receive kisses, especially at bedtime. It's her her way of postponing the inevitable. I know we are biased, but she gives the best kisses. When we met she did not know how to kiss, picked it up within three days and has not looked back.

She loves water in any form she can get it. She likes to drink water, she likes to play in the water and she likes to look at water. She is not afraid of water on her head and has already taken multiple dips underwater. She loves to feel the shower water pelt her little back and she giggles with delight. I have to post video of Baby S at the lake enjoying herself. We also have pictures of Baby S at a volcano fountain nearby. It is really neat and erupts every 10 minutes. We took her this summer and she did not flinch when the water erupted. We think she's going to grow up to be an island girl.

Baby S loves Funky Dog and cannot sleep without him. We tried many lovies and none would do. We'll post later about FD and the search for a replacement. During the past six weeks she has attached to a Snoopy blanket. Nothing wrong with that as she has many. Leave it up to our daughter to attach to a blanket that is too large for her (it was meant to be used on her crib) to tote around . It also costs $30 so it is going to be pricey to have replacements around. Hey, what can you do?

She loves the W0nder Pets, well, she loves Ming Ming the duck. Baby S gets all excited when she hears "The phone, the phone is ringing..." P has it as a ring tone on his phone. I refuse to allow those creatures to take over my phone. Baby S also likes the Backyardigans, because she is all about the music. Just yesterday she did the Backyardigan twirl. OMG it was adorable. Then when she is up early, she watches Jack's Big Music Show, because Jack looks just like FD. To say that she watches those shows is a stretch, she only pays attention when they are singing.

Baby S continues her love affair with the cable music channels and is a connoisseur of 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's music. From Run Around Sue to Pour Some Sugar on Me, our girl is a well rounded music lover. Her head banging is superb. Lately she's been paying attention to the song Bruises (iPod commercial, someone please teach me how to link). You know, "I try to do hand stands for you..." When the youuuuuuuu part comes on she puckers her lips and sings along. Thankfully she can carry a tune.

For someone so small, Baby S has a LONG tongue. We are talking Gene Simmons long and it always amazes us when she unleashes that puppy.

Baby S is well on her way to tantrum city and is a certified drama queen. She began throwing herself on the floor approximately three weeks ago. It is more of a careful landing at this point, and when she lands she puts her head down and pretends to cry. P thinks it is beyond funny and I have to remind him not to laugh because we do not want to encourage that behavior.

She has baby Alzheimers. Baby S could be in the midst of a major, oh-my-gosh-is the-end-of-the-world-I-can't-go-on cry, then something catches her attention and the crying stops. It does not subside, it just flat out stops, sometimes within seconds of starting. Then she forgets the earth shattering event that caused the crying and she is as happy as ever.

Baby S wakes up with a smile no matter the time of the day, or if her nap (the few times she takes one) was cut short, or if she went to bed kicking and screaming. The girl does not hold a grudge and always greets us with a smile.

She has been fake coughing for a few months and for some reason it amuses her to no end. Recently, I had quite an embarrassing incident due Baby S's fondness for coughing. We were at a a very crowded supermarket on a Friday afternoon. Everything was going well and I just had two more items before we could make a dash for the registers. Then a woman behind us coughed. Baby S leaned sideways on the cart (she was seating facing me), looked at the woman and began to loudly cough at her. I realized that this was not the time for a lesson about not making fun of people, and I tried to redirect her. Much to my surprise, the so called adults around us started laughing. Yep, they thought that my daughter making fun of someone was funny! Needless to say, Baby S thought it was fun and games and kept coughing at the poor woman who was trying to catch her breath. I could not get out of there fast enough. BTW, the woman was really struggling to catch her breath. I just made a beeline for the register and forgot what it was I needed to get. That evening I was telling the story to P who could not stop laughing. I must admit that I did find the humor later on and realize that there was no malice involved. P asked me about the woman and I told him that when I left she was still trying to catch her breath and for some reason that made him laugh even more. We are both blaming the incident on those mean bystanders.

Baby S is obsessed with tags, any type of tags. She can play with a tag for long periods of time and studies each and everyone like the meaning of life is somewhere within. Initially, we could not get her to push on her beloved block wagon, because the manufacturer's thought it'd be a great idea to place a tag on the handle. We would get her to get up, then to hang on to the handle, then she would spot the tag and it would be all over. Although she has many unopened toys (and more coming for Christmas) guess what her neglectful parents have not purchased? Must get taggies for Baby S.

Michelin Baby (Parade Part III)

Guess that video was determined to have its own post.


After thirty minutes she fell asleep, even though we were seating by the speakers. P had stated earlier that she would not doze off because she would be too much into the lights and music. When he noticed that she was asleep he quipped that we should not have made her so comfortable. Baby S woke up thirty minutes later when a fire engine siren disrupted her slumber. She must have fully recharged her batteries because upon awakening she waved at everything that was in front of her. P kept asking me if it was normal for a child her age to be so calm for such a long time. Beats me, but I’m not complaining.

The parade lasted ninety minutes and we did not hear a sound from Baby S. By that time it was 47 degrees and we were glad that she was bundled up. We were able to make a quick getaway, since P is very familiar with the area. It was not until we were in the van that Baby S finally said something. A very loud “YEAH,” her favorite word lately (not a clue where that comes from). We picked up dinner, came home and Baby S released all her pent up energy. She was all over the place, even walking in that awfully restricting outfit.

Once we liberated her from the pram she did her impersonation of Tigger on crack. We arrived home before 8:00 p.m. and Baby S did not fall asleep until 10:30 p.m. She was nonstop the entire time, practicing for her debut as a hockey player. Lately, she’s been getting a kick out of body slamming. Baby S just runs full force into whatever, my knee, P’s leg, her rocking chair, the chaise… P says that she is perfecting her body checking because she is going to be an enforcer. We are worried that she is going to end up hurting herself. Thankfully 48 Hours Mystery bored the daylights out of her.

Tomorrow we steam clean the upstairs carpet, get the tree, decorate the tree and the house and do some shopping. More important, tomorrow is Family Day, five months since Baby S joined our family. Weird, because it seems like she has been with us forever.

Parade Part I

We think she's warm enough.

This little stunt cost me dearly later on. While Baby S and P were warm, by the time I put on a sweatshirt it was too late.

Grandpa, this was totally a coincidence, but look where we ended up across. Yours and Baby S's favorite steakhouse.

This was a low budget parade. Baby S thought the donkeys were dogs.

Go Coast Guard!

Baby S would sit through almost anything, as long as there are Cheerios handy.

Baby S had a bit of a hard time today. For the first time since we met she did not have our undivided attention. She did not like this at all. We did a lot of cuddling in the morning and BaBa watched N0ggin with her for a while. While they watched TV, I cleaned and reorganized Baby S’s bedroom and bathroom. Then it was time to clear the living room and dining room in order to steam clean the carpets. That was a two-person job and it required Baby S to spend time in her room playing. She was not a happy camper and did her best I’m-woman-hear-me-roar bit.

Although she was miffed at us, when she realized it was time for a shower she seemed to temporarily forgive us. When we told her that we were going bye-bye she was as happy as it gets. We stuffed her little body in a pram and off we were. It was only 55 degrees, but it looks like Baby S is coming down with a cold so we wanted to keep her warm.

I was a bit concerned when we arrived because it was really crowded and I wondered if it would overwhelm Baby S. She was very quiet but did not seem scared or uncomfortable. When we tried on the pram the first time a few weeks ago, she screamed bloody murder but did not object today. Once we found a spot we got Baby S out of the stroller (always a winner) and she sat with us probably wondering what the heck was going on. Her demeanor did not change once the parade began. She was curious, but she did not make a sound. Baby S just looked all around taking everything in. She did smile at a woman standing next to us who fussed over her.

*** Blogger is acting up so I'm going to have to split this post in two parts. Hope all the pictures come out.***

Picture Update

It was bad, really, really bad. I have no idea what made us think that a child that has been home for only four months and only held by her mother, father and brother was ready to sit on some dude’s lap. Or stand next to him or on the floor by him. We bought her outfit years ago, we were thrilled when it fit, and everyone thought it was the cutest thing ever. It just was not meant to be. We had even discussed that if she cried we might go for it anyway. But she did not just cry, she was terrified, hanging on to P for dear life and crying hysterically. There is no way we were going to force her on his lap. The darn picture is just not that important to us.

The staff and Santa were great and tried to get Baby S to look at him while held by P and then they would cut P out of the picture. However, Baby S would not allow an inch between her and her BaBa. We stayed for a while, watching other kids and telling Baby S that Santa is safe and that all those kids were happy to see him and smiling. Yeah, when you try to reason with a 20-month old you have already lost. We tried a second time and she began to cry the second we walked towards him.

There goes our Christmas card picture and no idea what to do now. Unless P or I become professional photographers I do not think that Baby S will have her picture taken professionally any time soon. We are hopeful that with her therapy fund, she will be able to sit for her High School senior portraits.

Michelle, it is completely normal to be curious. I asked my mother to comment in Spanish for Baby S to read when she grows up. Talk about an incentive to learn the language. I (and I’m sure my mother) have no problem translating:

“Today you will take your first picture with Santa Claus and you will sit on his lap. I know that your Mama and BaBa will be by your side to offer you support and you will be able to smile. I know that it is not easy for a baby that has only been with her father and mother to sit on the lap of a stranger, Santa Claus. We wish you luck.”

Now, this is what she really meant:

Listen you two, if you traumatize my granddaughter… wait, no, if you even upset her you will pay. I will disregard my doctor’s orders, hop on a plane and open a can of whoop a$$ on you. Understand?

Starting tomorrow, we will be posting from an undisclosed location as P and I have joined the Witness Protection Program.

She's so tiny.

This is something we hear all the time, even in China. One of the flight attendants on the flight from Kunming to Guangzhou fussed over Baby S, then stated, “She’s five months old, right?” Nope, she is 15 months. The young lady was rather surprised. Baby S is small, and will always be small, but we are beginning to worry about her future self-image. Initially, I was annoyed that people would say she is tiny before knowing her age. Then Thursday afternoon, it sort of hit me. We were at the Mall waiting for P and as I walked by the play area, Baby S became excited. She is still on that shy stage and we only take her in there when it isn’t too crowded. When is crowded, she enjoys watching the kids play from the safety of our arms. That afternoon it was really crowded with kids between 6-8 years old and only one small little girl. I removed her from her stroller and held her, then she almost took a dive from my arms into the play area. Baby S appears to be determined to visit one of our local ERs before the year is over. Although I was supposed to meet P on the other side of the Mall, I decided to let her play, since she was so eager.

As I took off each shoe, Baby S ripped her socks and began to cry. The girl was ready to play. She ran into the play area and shouted “HI!” She then made a beeline to her favorite toy, which was being used by three much older girls. Baby S was about to push one aside when I grabbed her. I thought a meltdown was imminent but I was able to redirect her attention. Much to my surprise she mingled with the older kids and fell in love with one of the slides. She kept making the sign for up and once she reached the other side of the slide she would do her usual squeal/applause/happy dance combo. Then she’d do the sign for more.

The little girl I mentioned earlier was there with her father and brother. The father was not Caucasian and was barely 5 feet tall. The little girl was taller and bigger than Baby S. The father was taken with Baby S and struck a conversation with me. He began by stating that Baby S is beautiful and very agile. He asked her age, and I asked his daughter’s age. Dude, the little girl was 10 months old! I was floored. Maybe her mother is 7 feet tall, and there are recessive genes to consider, but still, wow. When P found us, and I informed him, he was equally stunned. It finally hit us why everyone comments on her size.

Like most parents, when we look at Baby S, we just see our daughter. We do not see a Chinese child, or a tiny child, we just see Baby S. The problem is that Baby S either has not received or has not bothered to read the memo, because she has no clue about her size. She tries anything she sees other kids doing and finds that perfectly normal. I think we are going to be on a first name basis with the local ER staff.

Baby S is slowly coming out of her shell in public and this particular outing was really an improvement for her. She was not clinging to us and did very well until the end. A little boy about her age arrived and befriended her. They played for quite a while on the slide. Whenever the little boy went down, baby S would smile and applaud. Very soon, the little boy was doing the same. They looked SO cute together. Then the little boy tumbled and landed on Baby S’s lap. That kid was a moose compared to Baby S, but before we could help him up, Baby S let out an angry scream and pushed him off of her. I guess she is no longer smitten by her handsome suitor.

Baby S's hair is getting long and in her eyes. She HATES anything on her head, so the hair battle has begun. This is the first salvo, a bow. You will see this bow in subsequent pictures, but she ripped it off more than a dozen times. She is not the only persistent one in this family. :)

Could someone tell me where to get this toy? Baby S LOVES that thing and wants one for her wall at home. Awesome outfit courtesy of her Aunt Courtney or her Nana. Sorry, but we mixed the outfits you guys sent and are not sure. Anyway, the outfit is still awesome and we are grateful.

Baby S and the giant mushroom.

Wheeeeeeeee!

After the playground adventure we went out for dinner, which led to Baby S's first try at coloring. She is the two fisted type.

Just as we were done with dinner, Baby S reached her limit and began to squirm in her high chair and get rather loud. P and I were looking for our waiter to get the check and get the heck out before Volcano Baby S erupted. It was rather busy and we had to wait for quite a while. We were able to redirect her and avoid a scene. She was really tired and had she just let it rip we would not have been surprised.

Baby S is a really easy going child and we are fortunate to have her. In my experience with kids, once they reach the meltdown stage, it is downhill from there. The icing on the cake is that Baby S was asleep by 8:30, her Mama by 8:45 (unheard of) and BaBa by 9:00. Gosh, it was a great day.

*Pictures taken with my iPhone, sorry about the bad quality*

To blog or not to blog.

I am going to quote a very wise blogger, “This has been one crap-tastic week.” :) Happy to say that last night things turned around. We are looking forward to a great weekend. Not sure how that is going to happen since we have to get ready for Christmas and we are way behind. However, we are determined to chase the blues away and enjoy what we have.

During lunch on Wednesday, I told P that I seriously considered deleting the blog that morning. His reaction? He glared at me, nostrils flaring and through gritted teeth stated, “Don’t you dare!” I reassured him that the blog was still there but that maybe we should go password protected. That earned me another glare. At that point I decided that my children do not deserve their mother becoming a homicide statistic, so I told P that I was only weighing our options.

When we created the blog, our main reason was Baby S, because in the end, it is all about our daughter. That is why the blog was dormant for two years. We were not interested in writing about the depressing wait. One downside of adoption from China is the lack of knowledge about our child’s history, but this is something we knew and accepted. Our way to cope was to make a commitment to document what it’s like to bring Baby S home for her future reference. It is not a commitment that we take lightly. P reminded me of this very important reason.

Password protection might be an option in the future but right now it impedes another purpose of this blog. During our wait, we followed many blogs dedicated to Chinese adoption. These complete strangers who were sharing their lives with us were key to our survival. In some cases, we followed the parents through the wait, the joy of referral, travel to China, meeting their child, journey home and subsequent adjustment. In some cases, those little girls we first got a glimpse of at a year old are now entering kindergarten. We learned a lot about the process from them and are grateful.

In return, we decided to pay it forward and keep the blog for at least a year and then reevaluate. This debt of gratitude is not something we can forget when things get tough. Other than friends and relatives, we only made our blog address available on an adoption website when we received our referral. Until recently, we thought that only friends and relatives visited to keep up with Baby S. As it turns out, Baby S has received visitors from Canada, Spain, Ireland, Italy, China, Australia and various US states. I hesitated about posting this information, because I did not want to spook any lurkers out there. We are aware that they are finding us in an adoption website and we want them to follow along. We are also pretty sure that they have either adopted from China or are in that hell known as the wait. If any of you ever have any questions, feel free to send us an e-mail and we’ll do our best to answer.

Since this is the Story of Baby S, it is written through the prism of her parents’ experiences. It is a letter to our daughter. Since it is all about her, we are going to stick around for a while.

This afternoon, we are going to engage in some serious hypocritical parenting. We are going to take our daughter to talk to a complete stranger. Not only that, but we are going to encourage her to sit on his lap and have her picture taken with him. Please wish us luck because we are sure going to need it. We have wanted to get professional photos of Baby S since we arrived home, but know that she’s just not there. The allure of Santa Claus won us over and we are going to take the plunge. We doubt that she’d smile but P valiantly volunteered to sit on Santa’s lap (don’t fret, I’ll be there snapping away) and then get out of the shot. Never thought I’d hear my husband say that, I owe Baby S big time. We most likely will end up with pictures of a screaming baby. Baby S, your parents are going to add extra funds to your therapy fund. On Saturday, we are going to get our tree and take Baby S to her first parade. We hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.

I'm going to get you!

Who, me? No, of course I'm not going to run out to the middle of the street. Go back to what you were doing. I believe that you had your backs to me.

I have no idea what happened with this picture. P took it and I thought my phone was broken. Thankfully, no other pictures like that and we think it looks kind of cool.

Last night she heard her full name.

Two things about this incident, she stopped immediately (as intended), and I was not the one uttering it. Since Baby S arrived home we have kept her contained in the living room area by placing an ottoman between the chaise and the fireplace landing. Those days are sadly over as she gleefully climbs over, squeals, applauds and proudly states "good girl!" Although we are proud of the results of positive reinforcement, we are not jumping up and down repeating good girl. I told you we are bad parents.

P was able to install one of the gates to prevent her from wondering and when he returned to work after lunch he felt rather confident about his effort. I knew it would not take long before Baby S would use her full weight to take the gate down. Baby S is one tenacious little girl; she does not know the meaning of giving up. During the four hours BaBa was gone, I tried my best to keep her away from the gate by imposing the harshest, most cruel punishmen. That’s right, every toddler’s nightmare, a time-out. I was not very successful.

Once P arrived home he took over the gate watch. After a dozen times of saying no, just as Baby S reaches for the gate, I was surprised to hear P use her full name. Come on Baby, such a cliché. Funny thing is that it worked… for about 5 seconds. She completely turned around and just looked at P with this priceless expression. Seasoned and responsible parents that we are, we busted out laughing and were happy that at least she recognizes her name.

Baby S does not hear her first name on a daily basis. Ever since her brother came up with her nickname, it just took a life of its own and she simply became S to us. Sure we had to write it more times than we cared on legal documents, and we sent an e-mail to friends and relatives with her Chinese and American names. But she’s been S for about 3 years and that is a hard habit for us to break.

When I heard P use her full name, my first thought was “Uh oh, she is SO going to hate our guts when she has to start writing her name.” Baby S has both our last names but in our defense there is a good reason why we used both (consistency), and both last names are only five letters in length. OK, once you add the hyphen, we are talking about eleven characters. I hope she does not get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome before she reaches first grade. In the meantime, P and I have to find someone to blame about this. Any volunteers? :) Furthermore, what happens if she marries someone with two last names, hyphenated like hers, to prevent separation? Will our grandchildren have four last names? Because they are really going to hate us. Heh, you can tell we really thought this one through.

Remember the movie Parenthood? One of my favorite scenes is when the blond little boy places a bucket on his head and then walks into the wall. Rick Moranis’ line to Steve Martin of “How proud you must be…” really gets me. Well, look who are the proud parents of a bucket wearer. We are really proud of her; mainly because she did not walk into a wall.

She LOVES to talk on the phone.

I forgot to mention that Baby S was about 10 minutes into that "conversation," when my neurons finally fired and I then got the camera. She has about 4 telephones but lately anything becomes a phone. A few days ago, a tortilla chip became a telephone. P looked at me and asked what the heck was Baby S doing. She was simply engaging in creative thinking. So I was glad that I caught her using the "right" toy for the "right" action.

And then it happened.

Removed in deference to J & Baby S.

A Message From Baby S

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

First and foremost, we are thankful for J and Baby S. For a couple of so not great parents, we have been blessed with two amazing children. Although they were born over two decades apart, in two different countries and under completely different circumstances, we are amazed at how similar they are. That is one incredible gift. We are proud of the adult J has become and are looking forward to Baby S maturing into an equally decent human being. In return for our good fortune we promise never to pit you against each other, to always provide unconditional love and support you on your endeavors. When you two are happy, we are happy.

Our day began with an early morning phone call from J. He and his girlfriend S recently moved to a new apartment, in a much safer part of town, and this made us very happy. Sadly, J could not join us for Thanksgiving because he had to work. He will also be working on Christmas day, but assured us that he will be here on Christmas Eve. Last year he got Christmas day off, so it’s time for someone else to spend time with his/her family. We are excited about his visit and especially his time with Baby S. Little sister has been missing him so much that she no longer fixates on the Mama picture in her Who Loves Baby photo album. Now she goes to J’s picture and kisses it. I know, stinkin’ cute.

Then as we were getting the stuffing ready and about to pop the bird in the oven, we received a phone call from Grandpa. Yet another reason for us to be thankful. A later event in the day made us appreciate Grandpa more than ever. He has accepted my children without reservation, and although we have had our moments, the man does not hold a grudge, nor engages in petty behavior. We are very fortunate to have him in our lives. We talked for over an hour and were very surprised when he offered to meet us in San Francisco in a few months. Got to get the granddaughter fix.

Abuela and Abuelo were visiting one of J’s and Baby S’s cousins for Thanksgiving, so we left them a message at home. All three of us said something and P had to be a show off and say “Feliz Dia de Accion de Gracias.” He knows my mother eats that stuff up and is devilishly trying to make a liar out of me (regarding his monolingual status). It’s OK with me because I much rather have my mother getting along with my husband and truly liking him, than having her mount a one woman attack filled with hatred. We are thankful for their presence in our lives. Although they live far away, they keep in touch by phone and e-mail. Abuela informed me last week that she is visiting in March to celebrate J’s (3/21) and Baby S’s (3/15) birthdays. We were concerned that J would not be able to make it but he said that he would inform his supervisor that he would be taking time off in March to visit with his Abuela. Also, looks like she’ll get to meet Grandpa when we meet in San Francisco.

While Abuela/Abuelo and Grandpa have not met, they have something special in common, they share two grandchildren. All three have been very generous with their support and unabashed love for J and Baby S. The adoption process is filled with many painful moments, and having someone understand that is priceless. To Abuela/Abuelo and Grandpa, Baby S was real the moment they were informed about our decision to adopt. It was their granddaughter, not a concept or something to be ridiculed. They began using her name immediately, and gave us hope when we were depressed about the long wait. At times things were so bad that I could not even discuss the wait with my mother. She would send me an e-mail and just remind me that our daughter was coming home and that she was certain that it would be a perfect fit for our family. They all shared in our joy when we received the referral and keep up with us via this blog, enjoying every picture, video and silly story posted. Again, we are thankful for their love, support and enthusiasm over the many boring things we do.

As I mentioned before, P has been working overtime and those hours finally caught up with him. Add to that the 2-3 nights that Baby S has used him as a kicking bag, and you have a very tired BaBa. So we did a lot of nothing and P did his part getting the house and the food ready for dinner. The weather was perfect, and we spent hours outside watching Baby S play. She realized very early that BaBa was not going to work and she was elated. Paragons of good parenting that we are, we allowed her to play in her diaper and bare feet. She played with the many dead leaves on the lawn and kept yanking blades of grass and placing them on her head.



It was really nice to sit outside and just enjoy our baby girl. Baby S even played for an extended period of time with her back to us, something that would have never happened a month ago. She is at her best when she is with both of us, you can tell that her confidence level increases significantly. I am so going to miss my little snuggle bug when I return to work.

I will be writing about the rest of the day in a new post, because this post is about good things and I do not want negativity amidst all the good things that we enjoyed.