I knew P was scared when he called Abuela. Calling his parents was perfectly normal, as for moral support. Abuela? If I was not in so much pain, worrying about SS and JJ, it would have alarmed me. When the surgeon explained the procedure, I just nodded. I'm thankful P is incredibly well versed in my medical woes. The surgeon could have said he was going to amputate my limbs, and I would have agreed, as long as it stopped the pain. I signed every required form, after P, the one with his faculties intact, read and approved.
Through all of this, SS was there, scared, wondering what was going on. I was angry at myself for the timing. There is no good timing for emergency surgery, but not on October 27, 2009. On that date, we reached a very important milestone. It was our crossover date, SS had spent more days with us, than without us. I was looking forward to a yummy dinner, reminiscing, then lots of cuddles in bed. Instead, this was our reality...
It lead to SS's first stay in a US hospital. Glad that I was afflicted, not her.
SS wanted me to post this picture, no idea why.
SS's second Halloween home. Picture just outside the main entrance to the hospital.
Two of my three babies snoozing next to me.
That same night, draped by the Halloween blanket P gave me. She needed it more than me.
Another distraction was my wound vac, and I so hated that contraption. When Abuela left and I was fending for myself with SS, I resented this thing. I crawled around to meet SS's needs. Not proud of that, but too much pain, and that stupid thing weighed me down. But that's the thing, less than humane circumstances but WE made it. I got around to meet SS's needs. We did it, my girl and I.
For the reversal surgery we had the gift of forethought, and prepared SS the best way we could. We talked abut how good it would be for Mama to have that bag gone and stoma closed. We ordered the cutest scrubs and white coat with Dr. S embroidered. We did our best to let SS know that it was going to be OK.
Cutest doctor ever.
Then the nurse turned on a cartoon show and Dr. SS had to have a break.
Same window, six months later, my baby and I.
Dr. S wearing her Snoopy scrubs, drinking juice, and watching a DVD on the bed next to Mama.
She spent the night and had her own breakfast plate the next morning.
My guardian angel was with me both times, and that has led to a lot of thinking. The thing about my surgeries is that they have lessened in terms of risk. The first one was awful, I was left opened until my surgeon could get help. Darn, no wonder it hurt so much. The second one entailed less, but still required a hospital stay. But now, my surgery is akin to having wisdom teeth pulled, simple outpatient, even with general anesthesia.
Then why are we preparing for this like it was serious? SS was there with me both times, going in, coming out, then recovery. We are blessed to have relatives and help, but I'm wondering about SS. Since this is so minor, what message are we sending by not having her before and after? SS is already showing signs of distress, why add to that? It is a simple outpatient surgery. SS can see me in at 6:00 a.m. (surgery at 8), go to school. and come back after school. I did not realize until today, that dropping me off at the hospital, picking me up after school, then coming home may be the best thing to do. It will be a sweet closure, we as a family come back home. Not sure P will be pleased, but I need my guardian angel as much as she needs me.