Monday, December 06, 2010

There's green, then there's Buzz Lightyear green.

Last week when I picked up SS from school Ms. M quickly let me know that she was doing some of the girls' hair and SS wanted hers done as well. Since she did not know if it was OK with us, but not wanting to exclude SS, she slightly modified the pony tailed SS had that morning. Had the teacher not mentioned it, or SS, it would have taken me a long time to notice. I do appreciate her asking and wonder if they do that with every child, or was it a function of the three single spaced pages of dos and dont's we have filed in the office. I told Ms. M that I do not even know how to braid hair so she can play hair stylist as long as SS is comfortable with it, and as long as it does not involve SS being held or sitting on the teacher's lap.

When I arrived today, SS jumped in my arms and showed me her cute braids, courtesy of Ms. M. The teacher was surprised at the length of SS's hair, and how difficult it was to braid her thin hair. I think SS is more comfortable with Ms. M than Ms. L, they just seem closer. Ms. M told me that SS chose the hair bands color and that it was "not green, but Buzz Lightyear green." Initially the teachers were trying to steer SS towards the dolls and more feminine activities, but our daughter fought and won. One day when we arrived, SS headed straight to the cars and chose a truck with huge wheels, Bigfoot type. Ms. L said "I knew she was going to do that. We are trying, you know, to get her to try the dolls." I told her that we do not want to stagnate SS's creativity, and do not want to mold her into society's idea of femininity. We want SS to be who she wants to be, to choose her own path. Since that day the staff have embraced her love for Buzz. We still don't get how people who deal with children for a living can have such outdated beliefs.

SS took a long nap this afternoon after being up most of the night. She was very whinny since the moment I saw her at school. When P brought her to me after the nap I found her warm, but thought it was from being under her flannel blanket. A half hour later I was worried, she was still warm and lethargic. Our baby had a 100.6 fever. Not much, but enough to put us on red alert because even a degree above normal freaks us out when it comes to SS. She drank a bit of juice, got her medication, had a popsicle, and two hours later is finally off me and on our bed.

Grandpa's right foot surgery is tomorrow. We are relieved that is nowhere as drastic as first expected, but it still involves a big change for him. P talked to him briefly and requested that the surgeon (who was supposed to call P today to discuss the surgery) call him after the surgery. We are not holding our breath.

When I realized how easily SS posed for this mugshot pictures I wondered if it was a sign of things to come.


Michelle said...

I find it kind of odd that the teachers would try to steer her towards what they consider more "gender appropriate" toys. I worked at a day care center for 15 years and we would never try to influence what types of toys the kids played with, even if they weren't considered "typical" for boys or girls. We would try to suggest the kids try lots of different activities during structured time(like encouraging the boys to do art, especially for those Moms that REALLY wanted an art project from their boys that didn't care for it) but we didn't influence their free play at all. That's just what is is: free play.

Have you seen this post?

I loved her response to her son's wishes. I also cringed at some of the mean spirited comments. Something to think about.

2china4S said...


It is strange but I usually find the boys and girls segregated in the mornings. Usually there are mostly 2 year old girls and 4 year old boys at that time (7:30), and maybe they wanted to keep SS away from the big boys.However, she is comfortable playing with boys, and they are kind to her.

I did see that post and good for her to stand up for her son and not buck to convention. What annoys me is that when we corrected people who thought SS was a boy, they were even more excited that it was a little girl wearing a Buzz costume. Why the double standard? Then we complain that men are not nurturing, do not share equally in parenting tasks, etc. Well THAT is why.

P and I are passionate about not crushing a child's spirit based on archaic gender stereotypes.