Friday, April 08, 2011

First school picture and the tale of the foul-mouthed caterpillar.

We know we are terrible parents, school picture day was January 13, and here we are finally posting the long awaited (by our three readers) picture . It did take the studio a month to deliver the pictures. We are blaming the rest of the delay on our lameness and the winter blahs.

What we love about this picture is that it gives the impression of a princess like little girl, sitting properly and being calm. We had to rearrange her legs after every shot because our brute reverted to her usual open legs sitting position. Not bad for a school picture. A shout out to P who left work upon getting my text that SS would not smile. Baba to the rescue, he gets the best smiles from SS.

Another thing that P noticed right away was the caterpillar toy on the floor, on the right side of the picture. Oh the memories that piece of overpriced plastic brings to our atrophied brains.

The toy is the Leapfrog Alphabet Pal Caterpillar, but to us it will remain the foul-mouthed caterpillar. Years ago (around eight if I recall correctly) we were invited to a friend's daughter's first birthday party. We really liked the chubby little thing (the only newborn P has not found outright ugly) and decided to attend, even though we did not have a little one home. I carefully set out to select the proper gifts for Baby J, and P insisted in "helping," because the man would do anything to go crazy in a toy store.

As I was narrowing down my selections P came across the caterpillar. The concept is simple, press on a leg and the caterpillar says the letter, or makes the phonetic sound. P immediately set out to simultaneously press the F and K, and to my surprise I heard the word f*ck. P was doubled over with laughter, while I unsuccessfully tried to remind him that children abound in toy stores.

Now here is where I get exactly what I deserve, because it was my responsibility to be the adult and nix the toy. Instead, I allowed P to gleefully add it to Baby J's loot. After all, what are the odds that a one year old would ever press those two keys? Why don't I ever learn from my many mistakes?

The day of the birthday party P told Baby J's dad about the fun feature of the toy and they set out to try it out. Great! I now had to warn my friend and coworker that one of our gifts could potentially teach her daughter colorful language. P and B (Baby J's dad) had a blast.

When I saw C (Baby J's mother) at work on Monday she was not happy. I thought she was mad at my lack of judgment and was ready to deliver a sincere mea culpa. C was mad because her husband, her husband's brother and her husband's cousin took over the toy and played with it until the batteries died. They quietly placed the mute caterpillar with Baby J's gifts. The next morning Baby J became very excited over the caterpillar and remembered that all she had to do was press and it would talk. When that did not happen Baby J cried. Not the end of the world, but I can understand C's annoyance.

Don't rush to your nearest toy store to emulate my husband. When we were near SS's referral P went on a mission to get his precious daughter her very own foul-mouthed caterpillar. That is when much to his chagrin he discovered that the clever folks at Leapfrog solved that problem. One can no longer press those two legs simultaneously. Knowing this P still tries the toys when he sees them, hoping that one made it pass quality control. I admire the man's determination although his motives are questionable. And that thing about not learning from my mistakes? Still very much a part of me. Because I have thought about trying to find an old one for P Online. I might be flaky, but no way would I get it for SS. But how do you ask a seller if the caterpillar can drop the F bomb?

Post #3 and only 27 more to go! P was uber supportive upon finding out about my participation. He said "good luck getting to thirty," then added, "you are going to do it just to shut me up, right?" I might have to reconsider looking for that vintage caterpillar.


Brenda said...

I bet you have a photo of you at that age looking as sweet and demure. (It really is a darling photo...)

M3 said...

Love that school picture (and the story of the bleeped caterpillar!).