Baby S gave me a horrible scare yesterday. I went into the downstairs bathroom, left the door open, and emerged thirty seconds later. Baby S was in the living room watching Ni Hao Kai Lan. Then when I got out of the bathroom, I could not see her. I called out her name and no response. I looked in the dining area (now her play area) and she was not there. I did not bother with the kitchen as there is a gate there, and I'm pretty sure she can't climb it yet.
Then I thought about the stairs. No way could she get upstairs that fast and without me seeing her, right? But I rushed upstairs anyway calling out her name. There is a gate in her bedroom doorway, so I went into our room and looked in the room, the bathroom and our walk-in closet. Nothing.
Here is where irrational thoughts take over rational thinking. Upon entering our apartment, the first thing you find is the bathroom. Plus the front door was locked and dead bolted. But I could not help it and I truly panicked. I yelled out her full name and rushed downstairs, only to find Baby S leaning on the sofa, watching TV. Where the heck was she? Where did she hide?
While I'm sure that going upstairs and returning downstairs took less than a minute, it seemed like an eternity. I was really upset and had tears in my eyes. I hugged Baby S and asked her to NEVER do that again to her Mama. That is, unless she wants her Mama to leave this earth prematurely.
Once I calmed down, something about Baby S's demeanor bugged me. Baby S is pretty much in tune with me and if I'm upset, she is upset. Later on that afternoon, I had a coughing fit and she was very worried. Baby S caressed my cheek and gave me a kiss and a hug. That is just how she rolls. But when I came downstairs, freaked out of my mind, she was eerily calm. She looked at me as if asking, "Gee woman, what's with the yelling and tears." But it did not upset her at all. Sometimes when P and I joke around or get excited and raise our voices, Baby S gets scared and it shows. So why the calm, cool demeanor? Maybe she was playing hide and seek with me. It would have really helped if she had informed me about my participation. I am also concerned that I have no idea where she hid. What if she gets stuck or something?
Talking about irrational thinking, it is truly amazing the thoughts that run through one's mind in such a situation. I had two scary (and irrational) thoughts during those seconds.
Irrational thought #1:
"Twenty-three month old vanishes in thirty seconds. Details at eleven." Except that by 11:00 p.m., my 30 second jaunt to the bathroom, would morph into a three hour, behind closed doors, m.e.t.h. cooking soiree.
Irrational thought #2:
N@ncy Gr@ce waxing philosophical about Baby S's journey from a SWI to the U.S. And although how P and I seemed OK to adopt, well, "Who was looking after Baby S? Let's unleash the lawyers!"
I know, I know, there must be something seriously wrong with me. The only rational thought was, how on earth am I going to explain this to P? I must admit that Baby S is doing her best to keep me on my toes.