Monday, April 12, 2010

Feeling much better.

* I am a horrible slacker, no excuses. Just have been doing much of nothing, healing and hanging out with my shadow. Backtracking a little here to last week.*

Had an appointment with Dr. JG, who was disappointed that SS was not with us. We reassured him that it was not over the comment he made about wanting to steal her. SS was safe and sound asleep at home. Dr. JG confirmed that the incision was infected and should pop soon. He requested that we meet him at the ER during weekend to have it drained.

I asked what changed his mind about the open wound and wound vac. The doctor surprised us by saying, "I just took a chance. There was a 50-50 chance of infection and I went with the least restrictive option for you." We do appreciate that he was honest and that it did not take him months after the surgery to come clean about it. I am also grateful that I am not schlepping a wound vac around.

SS playing with the laptop P's aunt V gave her last summer. SS has a laptop from Abu and this one was in the downstairs closet all this time. It was a bit above SS's abilities then.

JJ made us another garlic chicken pizza for lunch and it was tastier than yesterday's. The sauce is made of ranch dressing and garlic, so yummy. Even SS liked it.

It was midnight when the proverbial hell broke loose. Since I am a puking champ, what is the big deal? Well, I did not have green eggs and ham, so why was my vomit forest green? It was yucky, dense bile. Like I said, the pain from the incision did not help, and I was at a point that I could not take a deep breath. It felt like I was chocking and that was rather uncomfortable. Worst bout of vomiting ever.

SS had an appointment for her 3 year well child check up at 10:00 a.m. The plan was for JJ and I to take her, since P has taken so much time off from work. I was in no condition to leave the house, so P to the rescue again. JJ could have taken SS, but a parent should be there. Then P became unnecessarily over protective and did not want to leave me home alone. We were waiting for a call from Dr. JG and P wanted to have JJ ready to high tail it to the ER if needed. Again, I did not see a problem waiting for him to come home. I had been throwing up for 10 hours, what's a few more? SS is developmentally on track, and at the bottom of the US growth charts. P mentioned that SS was weighed and measured at urgent care recently and they skipped that. I was annoyed because I wanted her weighed and measured at her doctor's office, for continuity. Then the man that bites my head off if I do not recall every single aspect of SS's check up did not bother to write anything else down. Translation, I will have to make another appointment to get it done right. SIGH

I spent the afternoon in bed and that was very difficult. SS did not cry out for me once, but I felt so guilty about just passing her off to her brother. P kept texting me, reminding me to keep my a$$ in bed. I ventured downstairs for a while, then the inconvenient puking returned. JJ nicely pointed out that it was not good for SS to see me hurling, that it was scaring her. He was right, it was really upsetting my daughter, so I returned to my cave.

P came home from work bearing fruity gifts, pineapple, strawberries and bananas. He came upstairs with a big bowl of pineapple and I went to town. It was the first thing I kept down all day. We spent about fifteen minutes in bed watching something on Y0u Tube. I got up and noticed a puddle on my shirt. Initially I thought it was pineapple juice and was rather annoyed at my messiness. Upon closer observation we realized that my incision popped, puss and blood, a real mess. That is one trip to the ER we didn't have to make.

I was up since 2:00 a.m., just could not sleep. I was waiting for 6:00 a.m to do a little shopping. I had planned on cooking a few dishes with JJ over the week, and freezing them to send home with him. But the stupid surgery got in the way. I still really wanted to do that but he only had one day left home. Just my luck, Mr. Sleeps A Lot woke up every time I moved. My plan was to sneak out to go shopping, but not only was Sunshine awake, he was in a talking mood. UGH!

With no choice I fessed up, and P insisted on going with me shopping. There we were at 6:00 a.m. grocery shopping and without SS. I told P how weird it was and he agreed. Then I told him that I felt guilty. Now, P is healthier than I am in that aspect, he quickly said "I don't, we hardly ever have alone time, and SS is where she needs to be, in bed and safe." He's right, but I can't let that guilt go.

By the time the snoozing twins woke up at 10:30 a.m. I had made a huge batch of chili and pasta with carbonara sauce. We also had the ingredients for chicken Marsala, but we needed to go over the dish with JJ, since he has not made it before. By the time we were done with all three dishes the kitchen was full and a mess. I don't think I have ever cooked so much in one day. We both felt better sending JJ back with ready to eat food.

We went to dinner at our favorite steak joint. I asked P to just go with JJ and SS because I was not feeling well, but he would not budge. Since we really wanted JJ to try it, I sucked it up and went along. It was a big mistake, because I felt worse by the time we arrived. I was unable to eat, because all I wanted to do was hurl. Sunshine really needs to learn to listen to me sometimes. Then he was upset because I was not eating. Seriously P? Try feeling like your stomach is being pumped full of gas and about to explode. Would you like to eat? I tried my best to puke, but it does not happen on command.

SS did not have a good time either. I went to the bathroom as we came in, and when I made it to our table SS was in a booster seat, across and to the right from where I was seating. P said "Well, the hostess suggested a booster seat." Well Sunshine, the hostess is not SS's mother and I could not care less what she suggested. SS ALWAYS seats in a high chair between us. If she is not able to sit between us, she sits next to ME. This nerve wracking post op period is NOT the time to try new things with SS. Big coward that I am, and not wanting to pick a fight to ruin our evening, I let it go. I was in too much pain to put up a fight. But SS was miserable, did not eat and was a royal pain the rear end. It could have been avoided by seating her in a high chair, between us, as SS expected. P meant well, I know he wanted SS as far away from me as possible, to force me to focus on me and not fuss over SS. And he IS perfectly capable of looking after his daughter. But SS is fragile now, and I had pretty much dumped her on her brother, she needed her Mama.

Despite my wishy washiness, JJ enjoyed his meal. As soon as we got to the parking lot the pukearama began. I so hoped to make it home, but no. After a few rounds I said to P, "This is not the advertisement they need, their food is really good." P said"Are you kidding, half the place is a humongous bar. They are used to seeing people bent over puking out here." Ah, I can always count on Sunshine to make me smile. After a while, I opened the front door to sit down and there was a country song playing on the radio. That cracked me up, Saturday night, bent over puking on a bar parking lot, listening to country music, with my kids in the back of the van. My gosh, how trashy is that?

SS playing with her new Aquadoodle. The pen holds water and that is the "ink". It has a two sided board that dries rather fast. Another one of those toys we bought for SS years before she came home.

All good things must come to an end, and it was time for JJ to return to work. Needless to say P, SS and I were bummed out. JJ made this post op time so easy on all of us. Hate to harp on it, but it was so different than last year. JJ did not ask once what to do, he just did. Never once asked what SS needed, he met her needs. SS did not make it easy on JJ, she rode him hard. Bath time was the absolute worst, she screamed like she was being skinned alive. JJ did not loose his cool once (unlike me), did not ask me to help her calm down once. Like P, JJ had almost no experience with little people prior to SS, but like P, he's done an amazing job.

During this visit I noticed how much P has rubbed off on JJ. Their way of dealing with SS is identical, it's creepy. I know that laid back, easy breezy side was not there before P became a part of our lives. Heck, the way they both deal with me is identical as well. My children have my temperament, much to my displeasure. I take full responsibility for JJ's, but SS? How the heck did that happen? It's good that they have P to balance the Evil Incarnate and Forces from Hell they have inherited from me.

P came through for us when it was time to say goodbye. We feared a meltdown, but P started singing the Goodbye Song from Y0 G@bba G@bba. SS joined him right away and we avoided a Three Mile Island incident. JJ, thank you kiddo, we love you and miss you.

Talk about laid back eating. See? We knew she'd be eating on her own before high school. We don't get the right hand thing though.

I asked P to check on SS because I thought I heard toilet paper. P was too into his video game (hate, HATE those things) to pay attention. He then resorted to making me feel like I was crazy, because how could I hear toilet paper when he was making so much noise with his stupid game? I asked SS what she was doing and got a nervous "nothing Mama!" Yeah, there is no way I could hear her messing with the toilet paper.

Not much going on, feeling better and bored to death. But I'm keeping my promise to be good, whatever that means.

JJ always leaves something when he visits. P says that is because he really wants to move here with us. Dream on Sunshine. :) This time he outdid himself. So far we found his jacket, three pairs of socks, two T-shirts and his shaving cream. Maybe Sunshine is on to something.

P went to bed at 6:00 p.m., although that is not a record for him. The guy came in from work, laid down in bed and was out in no time. SS fell asleep on the sofa at 10:30 p.m. and I was hoping he would get up to help me get her to her crib. SS is restless so sleeping on the sofa won't do tonight. I am going to wait a while, but it looks like I am going to have to carry her upstairs.

No comments: