Sunday, April 11, 2010

Two steps back.

Although I am doing relatively well, there are two issues that are kicking my butt. The incision was indeed infected and it popped in a gory mess. JJ said that my shirt looked like I had been the victim of a shotgun blast.

The bowel G0ds are mad at me and letting me know. Friday I had a 12 hour bout of vomiting, serious, like I have never experienced before vomiting. That is big, because I am a puking champ. Add that to the pain from an infected wound, and it's not good. I have very little energy left. I am really stunned at how wiped out I am. I am still vomiting, but at least not as much, not a half hour period went by without projectile vomiting. We contacted Dr. JG and P is pi$$ed because he was not very impressed with the vomiting. It's expected with an impacted bowel, and I just have to quit being a wimp and suck it up.

JJ is leaving in a few hours and P and I are already wondering how we are going to cope. What happened to that sullen teenager? The one who could not wait for a sister, so he could save her from our questionable parenting? OK, our parenting is questionable. What we have seen these past few days has truly humbled us, but also made us very proud. JJ is going to be a great daddy if that is the path he chooses. We are hoping he has not scheduled a vasectomy after a mega dose of SS. He has been SS's everything since Monday. P has been consumed taking care of me and JJ is on SS duty 24/7. I last changed a diaper Monday, have not even bathed my daughter, and am ashamed to say I have not prepared a sippy cup or a meal for her. What a difference from last year, when I was hobbling around with an open wound, a wound vac, and picking up my child out of necessity.

How good has he been for SS? She has slept in her crib every single night, and not one incident of waking up crying or whimpering. We predict she'll be in bed between us tonight. The expected and understandable meltdowns never happened. She had several in the hospital, but not a single one since JJ came home. That is amazing since I have had very little cuddle time with SS, and P's attention is not focused on her constantly. She has awoken next to her brother every morning and not once called out for me in a panic. When we are downstairs hanging out and watching TV, she acknowledges us, but her place is right next to her brother. It's so cute when she walks up to him, gives him a hug and rubs his back. She simply adores him. More than anything, we are grateful for the stability JJ has provided SS during such an uncertain situation.

I might post later today, depends on how I feel. P is so wiped out, I really feel sorry for him. Just yesterday he was telling me that he does not have the energy to even get through a phone call. P knows he has quite a few to make, but is too tired right now. He goes to work between 4-5 a.m., takes time off throughout the workday to deal with whatever mess I have created, comes home, deals some more then crashes. Now his rock is leaving and P is feeling uncertain. He knows no one can fill JJ's shoes when it comes to meeting SS's emotional needs. Regular daily living tasks are not the issue, it's adequately filling SS's emotional tank that is vital.

But, we managed last year and things were really bad. I just have to suck it up and own up to my responsibilities. Come Monday, we will do fine, we have done this before.

JJ thank you so much for everything you have done for us. We know how demanding SS can be and you have been a champ.


Michelle said...

I'm so sorry about the vomiting. I can't imagine how painful that is. You are one of the bravest people I know. Hugs.

Brenda said...

K - this is the time for you to take care of YOU - nobody else. SS is in great hands with P. JJ was a Godsend for sure. Please be careful and don't lift ANYTHING or ANYONE. Or I'll come north and kick some major butt..