Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Done with this clunker until next year.

I am officially done with my annual physical suffering. P had been nagging reminding me to make an appointment since May. I just wanted to enjoy my summer without worrying and promised I would get to it after Maui. Not a surprise that after the last year the thought of a physical, blood draw, eye exam, and mammogram repulses me. Now that I am done with preventive measures to keep this wreck I call my body ticking, I must admit that it was not that bad. No way I'm telling P that though.

Yesterday Dr. H (eye doc) cracked me up. When he greeted me he said "Sooooo, you are the one with the really cool name." He wanted to make sure that he was pronouncing it properly. I am used to people always commenting on my name, it is a given, just like people comment on SS's cuteness. But Dr. H went a step further, asked me if it would be OK for him to say my name as much as possible during the exam. Huh? Whatever floats your boat doc. He said that I have one of those names that are meant to be repeated as much as possible because it is sooooo cool (there's that silly word again) Dude was not kidding, I have never heard my name uttered so many times in a half and hour span. It was K this, K that, as you know K, K what do you think about, K on your left eye, K, on your right eye... You get the idea. Dr. H has 5 children and I hope he is not planning on more, because I would hate for him to use my name. Still, it was kind of funny. His receptionist had a similar reaction, and asked me for SS's name and middle name. She seemed disappointed when I told her. She said she expected me to give my daughter a name similar to mine. I explained that we chose to keep her Chinese name and that messed up my plans for a kick @ss name(and I had plenty chosen). What I did not tell her is that I am seriously considering changing SS's first name when we readopt her later this year. I don't want SS to absorb the stress and bad feelings.

This morning I had my blood work and my precious shadow went with me. P wanted to meet us there, but he was going to be at the mammogram in the afternoon, and I did not want him taking too much time off. Just as she is about to start, the phlebotomist tells SS, "I'm going to give your mommy an ouchie now." WTF? Who says that to a child? I was even more upset because the phlebotomist was talking about her daughter, who happens to be SS's exact age. I asked her to please not scare my child that way. She was really surprised and said "Well, that is how I explain it to my daughter." I told her that we handled things different at home and proceeded to remind SS about what we talked about, how a needle would go in Mama's arm, but that it would not hurt Mama, and how blood would be taken and sent to Dr. S, so she can make sure that Mama is healthy.

Why do people feel the need to talk down to children? Intellectually, children are miniature adults, they are not stupid, and most children SS's age have more common sense than me. We do some baby talk with SS, mainly cute things that she says, but how is she going to learn if we talk down to her? Also, I wonder what would happen if the phlebotomist's daughter needs blood drawn? She has already been conditioned to think of it in a negative light. Thankfully SS trusted my explanation and bought the smile I flashed as my arm was butchered. Just kidding, she is no Rhodes scholar, but she hit the vein on the first time, a rarity.

Before meeting P at the imaging center, SS and I went over what was going to happen while she was in the waiting room with Baba. We discussed how a person was going to take pictures of the inside of Mama's breasts. I emphasized the inside part, because the last thing we need is for SS to say that someone took pictures of Mama's breasts. That could be oh so embarrassing. SS mulled it over for a few seconds, the summed it up "take pictures of Mama's nipples!" Before I could correct her SS was in a fit of giggles, and that turned into belly laughs, while repeating "pictures of Mama's nipples, hee, hee, hee." She was acting like a teen boy. I sometimes wonder if that girl has a Y chromosome because of her obsession with breasts. Maybe I am giving children way too much credit.

SS is getting really good at pronouncing my name. I am so used to people butchering it, like today, both the phlebotomist and the receptionist at the imaging center manged to add an n to my name. Weird. As I was helping the receptionist with the pronunciation, SS jumped right in helping with Mama's name. Nothing like having a 3 1/2 year old show you off. On another positive note, P refrained from telling the receptionist that he wanted to order an 8x10, a 5x7 , and 1 wallet size.

To say that they placed my breasts in a vise is not an exaggeration. I think being a sadist is a job requirement. I am also learning to share more of my medical history. Until this year I have conveniently omitted to mention that I had a lumpectomy when I was 21. I have never seen the use in disclosing, since the lump while big (I asked to see it as soon as it was removed, because I am gory that way) was benign. Besides, my aunt was not afflicted with breast cancer until she was 79, if my defective genes are going to catch up with me it will hopefully be equally late in life. I am glad that this is over until next year.

For the past few days SS has been anxious. It is normal for her to ask "Dog (her lovey) come," or "(insert toy or object name) come too?" We try to limit what she takes in the car or what she takes out of the car when we are out and about. But all of a sudden she is asking "I come?" or "I come too?" She is not only anxious when she asks, but has dissolved in tears before we open our mouths to answer. SS has been with at least one of us daily since we met, and attached at my hip. Maybe as excited as she is about going to school and being a big girl, she is naturally scared. This saddens me because I thought that by now she would know that we will never leave her behind. SS has been without both P and I only a handful of times. I also know that it is not unusual for three year olds to become clingy even if previously independent. Hopefully it is a very short phase.

Check out where Ms. Cool places her sunglasses.

SS loves the fish tank at the imaging center (sadly she has been there a few times) and quickly sets out to find Nemo (they have a clown fish).

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