Agreeing to a second marriage was a huge leap of faith for me. I had no intention of marrying again, one lousy marriage was plenty for me. When we were married, we had been together for six years, and really what is the use at that point? JJ already had P's last name, a big concern for P, if something ever happened to me. We had joint bank accounts and were splitting expenses for so long, that I really did not see the use. The first time, I had my last name changed without my consent (got to love the military) or knowledge, and I was not about to have that talk with P. BTW, I adored P, I was just not into the whole I do thing.
P had accepted a job as a government observer in Alaska, and was waiting to be trained and assigned to a fishing ship. Although The De@dliest C@tch was not around then, I did enough reading to know that it was not a very safe job. But P wanted to work in his field, and employment for Fisheries Biologists were not plentiful. P did what he does best, he appealed to my pragmatic side, and presented his argument. I know, a REALLY romantic tale for our kids. P's greatest fear was that something would happen to him, and I would not legally be his next of kin. I did not see that as a big deal, since P (and JJ) was my beneficiary at work, and we were not married. Guilty, I love to play devil's advocate.
P explained to me that no one knew him better than JJ and I. The thought of being in a position where he could not make decisions, and not having us (mainly me, as I was the adult) making those decisions for him scared him stiff. He also worried about access to him, in case of an emergency. I did not share that concern, but did have JJ to think about. I took a few days off from work (I hate taking more time than necessary), we drove to Reno and got married. The plan was to have a wedding later. Here we are eight years later (14 together), and look how well that worked out. Snort.
We plan on renewing our vows in the future, but we want to do it when our family is complete. Right now we are in limbo, because we both feel that we have to bring Baby D home, and then we will be complete. I must admit that P has more faith than I do. But I digress...
On July 4th, 2001, P woke up, got out of bed, and fell like a ton of bricks. P and I twist our ankles frequently and I thought that is what happened. Then P said, "K, my legs gave up on me, I can't move them." P never jokes like that, and I instantly became worried. I helped him back on the bed, thinking he would be up and about in a few minutes. He was not, and was diagnosed with a thankfully mild case of Guillain-Barré syndrome. It was so difficult to see my very young, very healthy husband using a cane. But the important thing is that he recovered fully, but was unable to take the job in Alaska. At least P had decent health coverage since we were married. :)
When we were dealing with the medical appointments and testing, P's words just kept resonating on my mind. Every time he asked me to be by his side at the doctor's, or the many times I wrote my name as his emergency contact, and then spouse as my relationship, I thought about his fear. It was never my fear because all I saw was a young, healthy man. Life sure has a way of throwing curve balls our way, and P was better at anticipating them. So there it is SS, not a fairy tale, but a common sense tale. If you inherit our sense of humor, you can tell our grandchildren that Baba convinced Mama to marry him, by shamelessly dangling the prospect of pulling the plug on him.
I got P this:
P got me this:
1 comment:
Happy Anniversary! P will love the Wii. It's the first gaming system we have bought that I will actually play too. Some of the games are fun!
You're very welcome for the package. I wish I lived close enough to come over so I could give you support in person.
The sadness over J going home is totally understandable. Hugs!
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