Monday, June 15, 2009

Oh yeah, we were married eight years ago.

With JJ's visit, and the anniversary of SS's referral, our eight wedding anniversary came and went without much ado. We usually go away for the weekend, but that is not going to happen until SS is able to handle a separation. Let's say we hope to get away by the time she enters kindergarten. This year we did not even manage to go out for dinner. We were both tired from chasing SS in the water, and our late night watching a movie. We party like rock stars here, aging, bed ridden rock stars.

Agreeing to a second marriage was a huge leap of faith for me. I had no intention of marrying again, one lousy marriage was plenty for me. When we were married, we had been together for six years, and really what is the use at that point? JJ already had P's last name, a big concern for P, if something ever happened to me. We had joint bank accounts and were splitting expenses for so long, that I really did not see the use. The first time, I had my last name changed without my consent (got to love the military) or knowledge, and I was not about to have that talk with P. BTW, I adored P, I was just not into the whole I do thing.

P had accepted a job as a government observer in Alaska, and was waiting to be trained and assigned to a fishing ship. Although The De@dliest C@tch was not around then, I did enough reading to know that it was not a very safe job. But P wanted to work in his field, and employment for Fisheries Biologists were not plentiful. P did what he does best, he appealed to my pragmatic side, and presented his argument. I know, a REALLY romantic tale for our kids. P's greatest fear was that something would happen to him, and I would not legally be his next of kin. I did not see that as a big deal, since P (and JJ) was my beneficiary at work, and we were not married. Guilty, I love to play devil's advocate.

P explained to me that no one knew him better than JJ and I. The thought of being in a position where he could not make decisions, and not having us (mainly me, as I was the adult) making those decisions for him scared him stiff. He also worried about access to him, in case of an emergency. I did not share that concern, but did have JJ to think about. I took a few days off from work (I hate taking more time than necessary), we drove to Reno and got married. The plan was to have a wedding later. Here we are eight years later (14 together), and look how well that worked out. Snort.

We plan on renewing our vows in the future, but we want to do it when our family is complete. Right now we are in limbo, because we both feel that we have to bring Baby D home, and then we will be complete. I must admit that P has more faith than I do. But I digress...

On July 4th, 2001, P woke up, got out of bed, and fell like a ton of bricks. P and I twist our ankles frequently and I thought that is what happened. Then P said, "K, my legs gave up on me, I can't move them." P never jokes like that, and I instantly became worried. I helped him back on the bed, thinking he would be up and about in a few minutes. He was not, and was diagnosed with a thankfully mild case of Guillain-Barré syndrome. It was so difficult to see my very young, very healthy husband using a cane. But the important thing is that he recovered fully, but was unable to take the job in Alaska. At least P had decent health coverage since we were married. :)

When we were dealing with the medical appointments and testing, P's words just kept resonating on my mind. Every time he asked me to be by his side at the doctor's, or the many times I wrote my name as his emergency contact, and then spouse as my relationship, I thought about his fear. It was never my fear because all I saw was a young, healthy man. Life sure has a way of throwing curve balls our way, and P was better at anticipating them. So there it is SS, not a fairy tale, but a common sense tale. If you inherit our sense of humor, you can tell our grandchildren that Baba convinced Mama to marry him, by shamelessly dangling the prospect of pulling the plug on him.

I got P this:
P has been coveting one for a while now, and I decided to go ahead and suck up the expense. I am not a game person, so I don't really get the appeal. However, P spends a lot of time blowing up zombies when JJ comes to visit, and I knew it would be a good stress reliever for him. P made an awesome avatar that really resembles him. SS's avatar is also good, and P even replicated the hair do with the little pony tail on the side. The funny thing is that SS's avatar is practically all head. Well, that is what toddlers are, massive heads and little bodies. Why have an avatar for SS? He did it just for sh*t and giggles, but her avatar shows up as part of some of the games, and in the audience in the bowling game. It's cool to have SS in there. My avatar is not as good (P also made it), and I did not think anyone would get it was me, unlike P's. Leave it up to SS to recognize her Mama anywhere. She squeals "Mama!" every time my avatar, or P's come up. Kids... I'll post pictures of the avatars later.

P got me this:

What? Another gadget to play music in the kitchen? I had given up on the radio/player P allegedly bought for me. P asked me a few times why I was not using it, and I honestly told him that it was not worth walking upstairs to retrieve it from SS's bathroom. What can I say, I can be really petty, and lazy. P felt bad and bought me a much nicer one, with a travel case (as if I'm about to haul it out of the kitchen). I wonder how long before my old player lands on the kitchen counter and my new toy finds its way to SS's bathroom. If that happens, I'm super gluing that puppy to the counter. Just getting in touch with my inner two-year old, no sharing. P learned a long time ago that I do not do chocolates, flowers or jewelry. The way to my heart is through electronics.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

Happy Anniversary! P will love the Wii. It's the first gaming system we have bought that I will actually play too. Some of the games are fun!

You're very welcome for the package. I wish I lived close enough to come over so I could give you support in person.

The sadness over J going home is totally understandable. Hugs!