Sunday, November 22, 2009

"I'm done," the beginning of our journey to SS.

Life is not all about colon resections (Hartman Procedure), colostomies, wet vs. dry dressings and gastronomic issues. But, that has consumed us for the past three weeks. It's time to shift the focus back to SS. Lately I have thought a lot about our journey to SS, mainly the very beginning. From the beginning of our courtship we knew that we would add to our family, but that was way in the future. We both needed to earn our degrees, and spend time getting to know each other. All that while co-parenting JJ, working ans studying full time.

Life was pretty boring when we were in school. Work and school had us busy seven days a week. We did not do much, but still managed to get away on special occasions. For JJ's 16th birthday, we drove up the Oregon Coast, went to the Sea Lion Caves and to the Oregon Coast Aquarium. JJ watched Free Willy as a child, and Keiko happened to call OCA home. Even at 16, JJ thought it would be neat to say hi to Keiko. Another fun weekend gateway happened when we drove to San Francisco to see Fantasia 2000 at the IMAX theatre. The regular movie screen would not do for us. Again, JJ enjoyed himself, ad enjoying time with his lame parents was not top of his list then. Little trips like that were not an easy task, because getting weekends off from work was really difficult. We had fun on our mini trips, and longed for the day when we could take a real vacation.

Once we were done with school and JJ could be left home without fear that he would burn the house down, we had more freedom. P and I love amusement parks and missed our season tickets to Southern California parks. The closest park was (then) Six Flags Marine World in Vallejo. That was still close to a four hour drive for us. The season tickets were also good for Waterworld in Concord. We used to visit at least once a month, but often more than that. Those weekends helped us cope with the wasteland that was where we lived. For some reason JJ really liked it there. P could stand it because that is where he chose to attend college, and he's White. It was torture for me, from the lack of diversity to the lack of entertainment that did not involve smoking weed and getting drunk. The months of rain and lack of sunshine did not help.

We cherished the time away, the time spent together, and the sunshine. We knew the parks like the back of our hands, except for the kids section. For three years we avoided the kids section. Only walked through it on the way to a ride, but could not tell what rides or attractions they had for the short crowd. We had a lot of fun, upside down, on the verge of throwing up, but let's do it again fun.

During one visit, out of the blue, P said that he wanted to check out the kids section. Sure, why not. I did not think much of it. One of us had to be curious after three years. P thought it would be a good idea to try one of the rides. He chose the hot air balloons that accommodated children and adults. When we reached the top, P said "I'm done." Huh?" You are done with what? Done with our marriage? Done with us? I had no clue what the man was done with. P repeated that he was done and that was my cue to ask. P explained that he was thankful for the time we had together, time to get to know each other, time to devote ourselves to JJ, time to have fun. But he was done with that part, P was ready to add a little person to our family. And that our dear SS, is how the journey to you began. We did not know then that it would take years to see your precious face, to hold you, and to bring you home. That moment seems so long ago, like decades ago. I had to ask P if my recollection was accurate and he recalls that moment the same way. We thought it would be a good idea to write about it for your future reference.

It's been a few weeks since SS has been able to cuddle with Mama like this. It's the first thing she does upon awakening. After her afternoon nap, she instinctively climbed on my lap. No way could I not indulge her.

Sweet profile.

Tickles! Hanging out waiting for dinner to be done.

Check out P's rosy cheeks. He hated them growing up, to the point where he had a consult to have them removed with lasers. I LOVE those cheeks, and am glad he did not mess with them.

Looking at her pictures, still her favorite thing to do.

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