Monday, November 16, 2009

My hero.

This little girl is my hero, actually a super hero. We often ponder about what her life was like for those first fifteen months. Because of that, for the past sixteen months we have done our best to protect SS, to insulate her from the negative things in life. Now we are in a situation that is completely out of our control. Even though she has had her moments (duh, she's 2), SS has once again surprised us with her ability to adapt, to roll with the punches.

This morning Nurse L called me to let me know she would be home in thirty minutes. This has been a pet peeve of ours. We realize that Home Health is for people who are bed/home ridden, so they are not likely to be out and about. Still, how about the courtesy of a 24 hour notice? I do have other appointments, AND more important, I am taking care of a toddler.

When Nurse L called (8:30 a.m.), SS was still groggy and in a cuddling mood. Before the surgery, thirty minutes was plenty of time for getting SS off the bed, making the bed, tidying the bedroom, making breakfast for SS, getting her toys for the bed, and having her ready. Not the case when I move slower than an octogenarian, and have the wound vac to haul around. P called and offered to come home and I declined. He was testing Mercury, and that is a day long process. If something happened to his samples while he was here, it would ruin an entire day's work, and most likely tee off his supervisor. I hustled the best I could.

SS was an angel during that time. She followed me around asking if I needed help, "Mama, SS help?" She has such an amazing heart. When Nurse L arrived I still needed to change SS's diaper and apologized for the delay. Nurse L looked around and asked where's everyone. I told her that P was at work. She asked about my mother (rats, she remembered), and I told her my mother returned home. Nurse L wondered what could be more important than me (everything lady, everything). I told her I was doing just fine. She then rephrased it and said that although I am "exceptionally stubborn about your self sufficiency," SS does need to be looked after by someone else while I recover. First, stubborn about my self sufficiency? Really? I spent one week in the hospital with around the clock nursing care. I have nurses coming to my home twice a week to change my dressing and monitor my recovery. The rest of the time P is taking care of me, including those disgusting dressing changes. What the heck is self sufficient about that? I am going to buy a dictionary as a goodbye gift to Nurse L. Second, there a millions of women in the world right now contending with far worse, and taking care of a litter of children.

Just then P waltzed into the room. He just gave me his killer smile and said that he could not stay away. The man is into blood and guts. I do know why he came, he is very sensitive about leaving me alone (even when I know I can handle the situation) at this time. Things are still pretty raw, and he wants me to feel secure. The thing is I do, when it comes to him, I do (shh, just don't tell him).

P tried to get SS to go to her room and play or go downstairs. SS gave a loud "NO," and we knew that removing her from the room was going to cause problems. SS got a kick out of seeing Mama without her dressings. She proceeded to give Nurse L a refresher course on why she was here. SS pointed to "Mama's wound," Mama's cision (incision, I love how she butchers the word)," Mama's stoma," and "Mama's wound vac." Gosh, we are so proud of SS. :)

According to Nurse L my incision is healing beautifully. Initially, I was to return to my surgeon for stitches. Nurse L thinks that won't be necessary, the incision will close on its own. If things look as good when Nurse V visits on Friday, they are going to discontinue the wound vac, and move on to wet dressings. I am excited about ditching the WV, even though the wet dressings are going to be more of a pain in the rear end. But it is a step forward in my recovery.

SS kept a close eye on Nurse L and did not seem overwhelmed by what she saw. She was very matter of fact about it. My little girl has been by my side through so much. SS is not only my guardian angel, she's my hero, my beautiful, tiny, resilient hero.

Because it is very safe to have a pillow fight that close to my undressed incision.

Loving the dressing change in bed party.

Mama, what is Baba looking for?

Soon I will be ditching my constant companion (wound vac). Looking forward to going to the bathroom sans an appliance.

WARNING! This is a good place to stop if you have a weak stomach. P has been daring me to post a picture of my incision since I was discharged from the hospital. Since I am 12, I decided to make him cringe by doing just that. This is (and the other thing next to it) the cause for my pain and discomfort. All my whining and complaining over this little thing:

I have to admit that it does not look too bad. The picture was taken the day I was discharged (11/02). The wound tech kindly made me a copy. It really looks much better now, narrower and shallower. I think it looks like a kite tail. That horizontal black line (below the second opening) used to be my navel. I hope I get it back during the reversal. SS loves ombligos, and it won't go well with her if mine disappears.


Brenda said...

You are all fantabulous and sooo brave. Good job SS, Mama and Baba. A true, loving, kick'em-in-the b@lls family!

Michelle said...

Holy Crap K! I can't believe you said it doesn't look that bad. That looks incredibly painful. I would be curled up in a ball on the floor if I had an incision that size.

Brenda is right. You are incredibly brave.

I can't find your phone number. Can you e-mail it to me? For some reason I have your address and e-mail in my phone but your phone number has diasappeared. Strange.