Friday, March 13, 2009

Abu is finally here!

What kind of loser is late to pick up her mother at the airport, after the person who gave her free in utero lodging has traveled for ten hours? P, who else? OK, just kidding, I am the only bad seed capable of such behavior. Baby S's refusal to nap is really impacting my ability to do normal things, like stick to a schedule. Add to that the fact that the flight from PR to DC departed early. Excuse me? In what kind of messed up place does that happen? My mother was unusually calm when she arrived in California, called to inform me that she was waiting at the terminal, AND said to take my time. The guilt, oy!

Baby S fell asleep on the drive over, and P woke her up as I went to greet Abuela. Baba should know better, but he meant well. Abuela's tearful, emotional and oh so touching first moments with Baby S were not exactly a Kodak moment. Baby S was crying and was not up for being nice. We drove to a gas station, where Baby S did an amazing imitation of a shy child.

Abuela was patient, and barely thirty minutes into the drive home, she was rewarded with a smile. By the time we stopped for a bathroom break, Baby S had Abuela eating out of her hand. Abuela must have felt energized and adventurous; by the time I made it back to the car, she had extracted a promise from P that we would travel to P.R. Mental note, beware of fragile looking, 70 year old grandmothers, they are a sneaky bunch.

By the time we made it home, Baby S was smiling, laughing and talking to Abuela. It was just before 1:00 a.m., and it looked like Baby S had no intention to sleep anytime soon. P had to go to bed, so I, poor little David, was left alone with the sleepless Goliath, and Goliath's Abuela. :)

By the time we made it upstairs, Baby S was saying Abu frequently and following her around. She also took it upon herself to "inspect" Abu's carry on bag. Smart move Baby S, we do not want to get caught with someone else's contraband. Baby S did a throughout job with her inspection.

Things were going great, and then, the unthinkable happened. Abu used the bathroom and inexplicably closed the door. Baby S marched up to the door, called out for Abu, knocked on the door and made some serious threats. I believe I heard explosive diarrhea diapers, sleepless nights and forget about sharing my bubbles in the mix. Upon emerging from the bathroom, Abu engaged in some serious butt kissing and was rewarded with forgiveness. Baby S did not fall asleep until 3:20 a.m., that is 6:20 a.m. in P.R. Poor Abu was falling asleep while standing.

We were surprised at how quickly Baby S began calling her Abu. When I was trying to get Baby S to sleep, she would hold out her arms, cry and say "Abu." I allowed Baby S to go to her grandmother twice, mainly because I knew it would slay my mother if I refused. Baby S is her first grandchild in eighteen years, and probably her last. Seriously, how can Evil Incarnate/The Forces from Hell be so weak? I guess I have my moments. By the third time, I was back to my evil ways and made Baby S remain on my lap while I rocked her to sleep. Abuela was very impressed by Baby S's stamina and persistence. Something tells me she is not going to volunteer to be Baby S's guardian if P and I bite the dust.

Abuelo, we really wish you could be here. You would have had an incredible time with your youngest granddaughter. And of course, you are welcome to visit anytime.

I almost forgot something. Abuela took umbrage with our description of Baby S as tiny. She noted Baby S's muslitos or swimmer's thighs, and overall healthy appearance. OK, our bad.

It took Baby S months to do this with us. Three hours after meeting Abu, and there it is, head on shoulder. You can tell both are hating this.

Abu, just a reminder that the moment you stepped off that plane, you gave up any pretense of dignity, privacy, or any other basic human right.

Fine, don't open the door. What's the big deal about this privacy thing anyway? I'll just sit here with Mr. Skull and scare the beejeezus out of you.

OK, I'll forgive you, since you have not done this in a while. Yes, I am the supreme ruler now, and I have JJ's secret weapons arsenal at my disposal.

I knew we would get along just fine. Stick with me and ignore Mama and Baba. What? You will? I knew you would not let me down.

I told Abu to ONLY speak Spanish to Baby S. We want Baby S to be as bombarded, er, exposed as possible. It's working really well.

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